What It's Supposed To Mean:
The meek shall inherit the Earth. Not much room for interpretation here, is there?
What It Actually Means:
So this comes from the Bible, where Matthew 5:5 says, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the Earth." If it's God saying this, it's a little hard to criticize it or claim it doesn't make sense. It might not make sense yet, but if God wants this to happen, it will happen, however much he might respect the work of Cracked.com.
"I liked you guys better when you did less lists."
Because oh shit this sure hasn't happened yet, has it? The meek, as a rule, don't get much of anything these days, and they never have. They certainly don't get the Earth, which goes mainly to lords, I think. Worse, this advice could kind of encourage people to be meek, instead of pushing themselves or striving for more. A lot of really important, world-changing things have been done by people striving for more. Wars, yes, but also things that have made life better. Things like powered flight and medicine and oral sex, to name a few.
Admittedly, this might be a translation issue; this might be better written as "The gentle shall inherit the Earth." And, yeah, I can see why God might want to encourage us to be gentle to each other. But that still doesn't change the fact that, to date, the gentle haven't exactly gotten the Earth. I could see the gentle inheriting a nice spot in Heaven, after the Rapture; that makes sense. But the Earth? Isn't that left to the assholes? Assholes and/or lords, right?
I guess, bottom line, be gentle but not meek, a lord but not an asshole, invent medicine if you can, and if you can't, just try to stay out of the way of those who can.
"Basically. But that's kind of wordy."
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and tries to invent medicine every day. His first novel, Severance, is incredible and available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Apex Books. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
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