They deliberated for less than five hours before sending him to prison.

Almost two decades later, the Wisconsin Innocence Project picked up Avery's case and requested that DNA evidence that was present at the scene be tested by the courts. Sure enough, Steven Avery was cleared.

His case was so influential that on Oct. 31, 2005, lawmakers introduced "The Avery Act," a bill intended to prevent wrongful convictions like his from happening in the future.

The Insane Twist

On the exact same day the Avery Act was introduced, a photographer named Teresa Halbach was scheduled to meet with Steven Avery at a salvage yard he owned to take pictures of a minivan for Auto Trader Magazine, which she did freelance work for. She kept that appointment, and was never seen alive again.

The details of what's alleged to have happened during that ill-fated visit are too heinous to relay here, but on Nov. 11, 2005, Steven Avery was arrested for the murder of Teresa Halbach. His nephew was also implicated and charged in the crime. On March 18, 2007, Avery was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the crime.

Purestock/Purestock/Getty Images
Except for real this time.

It's tempting to assume that something about being an innocent man forced to spend years in prison might have had a role in turning Steven Avery into what he eventually became, and, sure enough, there will be some stories that read exactly that way on the rest of this list. That's probably not the case with Avery, though.

He'd been in trouble from the age of 18, when he was convicted of burglarizing a bar and spent 10 months in jail. There are certainly worse crimes you can commit, like ramming your female cousin's car, forcing her to pull over and putting a gun to her head, which he also did.

A few years prior, another relative admitted that he helped as Avery took his own pet cat, doused it in oil and gas and tossed it onto a bonfire so they could watch it burn to death.

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And you wonder why cats don't like to be carried.

That's serial killer shit, unjust incarceration or otherwise. Don't get me wrong, it certainly can't have helped much (aside from the part where it kept him from killing women and pets for 18 years), but prison didn't turn Steven Avery into a bad guy. He was already that way before the prison system really got a hold of him.

For what it's worth, the "Avery Act" was later renamed out of respect for the Halbach family.

That was the gang he was alleged to have been killing for when he was wrongly sent to prison so many years ago. If you think that affiliation was just going to end because he went to prison, you've clearly never seen a single prison movie. By sending him into the system at that age, the state basically guaranteed that what family structure might have remained around him by then had zero chance of actually helping to raise him. Of course, what help they would have been at that point is debatable. His father abused his mother, eventually causing her to leave the family. His older sister went to prison for murdering her husband. In other words, Thaddeus Jimenez was raised with violence.

So, it really shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that, despite being the beneficiary of a lottery-like financial windfall, he's been nearly incapable of staying out of trouble, being arrested multiple times since his civil suit was settled. It's even less surprising that he turns up around the 1:18 mark of this video ...

... flashing gang signs and talking about his love for the Simon City Royals. After going to prison at an age when most of us are still nervous about our first day of high school, they're probably the closest thing to a family he's got left.

According to his story, he woke up a few hours later to find several small fires burning around the apartment, including one on the couch he'd been sleeping on. After putting out the fires, he discovered the body of Tina Heins. She'd been stabbed 27 times. So ... he just slept through all of that?

Christopher Robbins/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Better than getting murdered through it, I suppose.

It seemed improbable, and that fact went a long way toward convicting him of the crime, despite a complete lack of physical evidence against him. Eventually DNA evidence would clear his name. It was also revealed that he suffered from a rare sleep disorder that, when coupled with a night of drinking, made him nearly impossible to wake up under any circumstances, even while a brutal murder is happening a few rooms away.

Unfortunately, the person responsible for the murder of Tina Heins was never identified or caught.

The Insane Twist

Apparently, Chad Heins made a few solid connections during his 13 years in prison. In 2014, a federal grand jury indicted Heins on charges that he and four others conspired to commit tax fraud by submitting hundreds of thousands of dollars in false tax returns to the IRS. The incidents took place between 2007 and 2011. Two of the men charged in the plot were fellow inmates at the same prison where Chad Heins served his time.

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Time for taxes? They've got plenty!

It's alleged that the group used stolen social security numbers to file false returns. Heins then opened several bank accounts to deposit the money and helped distribute the earnings to the rest of the group.

The weirdest detail is that this all alleged to have started in 2007. That's the same year the murder charges against him were dropped, which only happened after prosecutors spent a year deciding whether or not to try him again. In other words, he had to know he stood a pretty good shot at getting out of prison soon, and that's when he decided to try his hand at crime. That's interesting timing, if nothing else.

Here's the real question, though -- if he is eventually convicted of this crime, what are the chances those 13 years he spent locked up on bullshit charges will count toward his next sentence? (Zero. There is zero chance.)

He didn't have a history of setting cats on fire like Steven Avery. He wasn't born into a cycle of poverty and gang violence like Thaddeus Jimenez. He was just a relatively well-off teen who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up in prison for it.

It wasn't until he came out the other end of that ordeal that he, again, according to police, became an actual murderer. There's no way to prove it, but it's hard to imagine that time in prison didn't go a long way toward helping him become the criminal the state of Illinois once wrongly suspected him of being.

Somehow, though, only one of those men ended up in that photo lineup police put together. After the victim identified him, a jury spent just a little more than four hours convicting Michael McAlister of attempted rape and sending him to prison.

The Insane Twist

Unlike the rest of the people on this list, Michael McAlister was never exonerated. Although Rodney Derr has since been convicted of and tied to several other rapes using DNA evidence, none existed in this case. To make matters worse, as stated earlier, McAlister does have some sexual assault leanings of his own, and the only way he was allowed treatment for those issues in prison was to admit his guilt in the case he was charged with. So, that left him no other choice but to wait out his time. He did that, even though evidence mounted over the years that authorities had arrested the wrong man.

That would have likely been the (still pretty sad) end to the story, if not for a drunk driving arrest.

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As always, thanks for everything, booze.

McAlister violated his parole in that very fashion a few years after being released and, after admitting that he had problems with alcohol and exhibitionism and that he'd like to seek treatment for both, the state of Virginia did the only reasonable thing ... they moved to have him locked up indefinitely as a sexually violent predator, based mostly on that attempted rape conviction that almost everyone involved now believes he had nothing to do with.

In other words, he's basically facing a life sentence for DUI. His only hope at this point is to receive a full pardon from the governor of Virginia. Even the arresting officers have signed on to the plea to get his conviction overturned and maybe get Michael McAlister the help he needs as opposed to letting him rot in jail forever. Their words in the petition sent to the governor sum up the absurdity of the situation pretty well:

"[We] believe it is highly improbable that another stocking-mask-wearing, knife-wielding, 6-foot-tall white man with shoulder-length blond hair was terrorizing women at night in the Town & Country apartment complex laundry rooms during that same period in time."

Yeah, I mean, I guess when you put it that way, it does seem kind of unlikely. Here's hoping the governor of Virginia sees it the same way!

Adam will be in Chicago telling jokes directly to your face along with fellow Cracked editor Alex Schmidt. You should come! Get tickets here! Barring that, follow Adam on Twitter @adamtodbrown.

Check out more from Adam in The 5 Worst Things Famous Companies Made To Train Employees and 5 Stories That Will Compel You To Quit Your Day Job.

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