And that's fine, ya know? I write all my columns wearing nothing but a rubber horse mask and a pair of Uggs I found in a dumpster, because that's what stimulates me creatively. "Bill Murray rubs cheesecake all over his chest before he shoots any scene," is a fact I just made up, because I wanted to compare myself to Bill Murray. So it's totally cool for Sandler to turn the entire latter half of his career into a cop-out, provided he's still delivering movies that are creative and interesting, right?
Jesus Fucking Christ.
I'm gonna be honest. I didn't expect to get those kinds of numbers when I Rotten Tomato'd his filmography. I need to go lie down.
Quentin Tarantino Is Suuuuuper Insecure
Look, I really love Quentin Tarantino movies, and I think most complaints about him are pretty stupid. You can say that real people don't talk like his characters, but that's also true of Shakespeare. You can say he overuses trunk shots, but I don't care, because trunk shots are awesome. You can say his movies are obnoxious and pretentious, and, like, yeah? That's why we like them. You can even say that he's ripped off everything he's ever created and ...
... well, I'm a big believer in parallel thought. I'm pretty sure that Home Alone didn't set out to be a retelling of Die Hard, but it still happened somehow. But Tarantino sometimes talks about how he stole the "Sicilians were spawned by n****rs" speech in True Romance (which he describes as one of his finest moments) from a guy who just thought he was having a conversation with his buddy Quentin, and it gets a bit weird. Then you find out that he cribbed Sam Jackson's "lay my vengeance" speech in Pulp Fiction from an old Sonny Chiba movie, and you start to get suspicious. And once you see him giving interviews like this, it becomes clear: Tarantino is kinda dumb.
In that video, Tarantino describes his first attempt at writing, which basically amounted to him memorizing and copying dialogue someone else wrote. For those that don't see the problem, that's not an attempt at writing dialogue. That's memorizing and copying dialogue someone else already wrote. I realize I just repeated myself, but I genuinely can't think of any other way to describe it. That is literally the opposite of being creative.
It's clear that Tarantino has no faith in himself. Look at this video we made over a year ago, that proves without a doubt that Tarantino is terrified of black people, and hastily throws on a disguise to try and pass as one of them:
God, can you imagine talking to this guy? Like, as a person? Would you spend the whole time worried that if you said something clever it would show up in one of his movies and film students would cream themselves over it? I don't know. Maybe this won't bother anyone. In this age of torrents and reblogs and slapping your name on top of other people's work, maybe no one actually cares if ideas aren't original. Maybe Shia LaBeouf is right. Sorry for bothering you guys with this. Tell me again how mind-blowingly original Inglourious Basterds is.
If you want a behind-the-scenes glimpse that reveals all of JF Sargent's personality flaws, you can probably find them on his Twitter, blog, or Facebook