The Running Man, for those of you who didn't nearly die the same day I did, is a 1987 science fiction movie starring Schwarzenegger at the peak of his scene-chewing talent. Set in the distant year of 2017, in an America under the boot of a fascist police state, the film features Schwarzenegger as Ben Richards, a police officer convicted of a crime which, get this, he didn't actually commit. After a failed escape attempt, Richards is caught and forced to compete on The Running Man, an extremely popular game show where criminals are pursued through a massive arena by a group of assassins called stalkers who butcher the contestants with various themed weapons. The central conflict of the movie is whether Richards will somehow manage to murder his way through the stalkers and subject them to thematically appropriate one-liners.
"Killian! Here is your Subzero. Now plain zero." -Yes, it looks like he will.
It is, in short, a completely awesome movie, and like most good people, I've seen it eight or nine times, I think exclusively when I've been home from work sick. This time, however, because of the 8,000-degree fever I was running, my brain was operating on another level entirely, and for some reason I began taking copious notes of my viewing experience. Notes that I've only just managed to decipher, and I've discovered that my fevered brain correctly identified The Running Man as the most profoundly wise movie that ever was.
"I'll live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!" -Check that flawless lesson in anatomy.