'Final Fantasy' Fans Fix Game By Shaving The Heads Of Every Character

'Final Fantasy' Fans Fix Game By Shaving The Heads Of Every Character

We've previously covered Stranger Of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin for being an amazing ode to masculinity standards, and we're glad to announce that the game is at it again, this time for even weirder reasons. This new action-oriented take on the Final Fantasy formula helmed by the people behind Nioh has so far defeated every piece of hardware trying to run it, and its secret ace in the hole is… hair. Yeah, despite other technical issues, the most pressing challenge when it comes to running FF Origin is the beautiful manes of our characters. Yeah, really. Video game performance issues usually pop up when a team's coding ability falls short of their incredible visual ambition, but the problem here is mostly hair, something most video games pull off very effortlessly nowadays. The tweet below shows the game turning the most powerful graphics card ever made into a slide projector.

But since the source of the problem has been found, fans have already come up with a mod that solves the problem by just shaving off everyone's hair (and hairy clothes).

Unrelated cutscene

Square Enix

Pictured: A dramatic reenactment of the mod doing its thing.

After the changes, all characters will look like they came straight out of those early PS3 days when all main characters sported a shaved head because the Unreal Engine was yet to nail advanced hair dynamics, or something

Characters after the mod

Square Enix

It looks much better, actually - all bald men.

This event could have been easily prevented if only the devs had paid attention to history – to Final Fantasy history, that is. When making Final Fantasy VIII, master costume designer Tetsuya Nomura went on to boast that the main character wore a jacket featuring a ruff along its collar not because it looked cool, but because it would prove a nightmare for the cutscene artists to animate.

Squall and his cool-ass coat

Square Enix

We can only presume Square Enix is finally dealing with a curse cast by overworked CGI artists over 20 years ago.

Top Image: Square Enix


Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?