This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

You probably got a cat instead of a dog because they're supposedly "more independent." Now, that little jerk is stomping around all over the place, slapping your hands with taloned paws, and waking you up by sitting on your face. Before you give your cat away to the nice lady in the dilapidated house down the street, consider occupying them for a while with KiTiDOT: The Amusing Cat Collar Toy.

KiTiDOT is a collar toy that satisfies your cat's insatiable urge to hunt things without sending them out into the wild (which, in your case, probably means a lot of fast-moving, cat-crushing vehicles and possibly coyotes and stuff). This collar is designed to keep your cat prancing and pouncing on things that are not your bare shoulder by casting a red dot that will torment that sucker for hours. It's just like when you play with a laser pointer and the cat gets all crazy, except you don't have to do anything. Your cat will never figure out the evil red light is coming from their collar as they slowly descend into madness chasing their red whale. Idiot.

But those stupid cats love it. There are three different beam modes to keep your cat interested, and with a 45-degree projection angle, you can make sure the beam is always pointing at the ground so your cat doesn't treat your lamps like prey.

Keep your cat occupied without lifting a finger. Right now, you can get KiTiDOT: The Amusing Cat Collar Toy for 4% off $25 at just $23.95.

Prices are subject to change.

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Forgot Password?