The Man Who Was Killed By His Own Beard

A 16th-century Dutch mayor named Hans Staininger had the most magnificent face full of whiskers the world had ever seen — a hirsute magnificence that ultimately proved to be his undoing

Comments 0

Zelda's Timeline Will Be Even Messier (Thanks To Breath Of The Wild 2)

Zelda's Timeline Will Be Even Messier (Thanks To Breath Of The Wild 2)

We finally got a trailer at E3 for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Still Unnamed Sequel, and the only thing that can adequately express our joy is this sound right here:

Yes, we're all super excited that this eventual and inevitable Game of the Year will be coming at us in 2022, but hold on to your Deku nuts for just one moment because as hyped as we are about this trailer, we need to talk about just one thing, Zelda fans. You know how the Zelda Universe's Timeline is more knotted than a fishing line thrown in a spin cycle?

Well, from the look of this trailer, the next Zelda might just take those knots, throw them in another spin cycle, then have a bunch of girl scouts make lanyards out of the ends before dunking them in a tub of glue … it's going to get more convoluted is our point.

At least, it might get more convolutedAgain, we're doing a lot of speculation off a minute and a half of game footage. But from what we see so far, it's pretty clear that the developers will be playing with fire in this game … and by fire, we mean time … but we also mean fire. (You saw that flamethrower on Link's arm, right?)

One of Link's new powers looks to be the ability to reverse time in a specific area. For example, we see him freeze time as a giant spiked ball comes tumbling down a hill towards him and then watch as he seemingly reverses time, flinging the ball back up the hill and logging a perfect strike in his Bokoblin-pin bowling league. We then later watch a water drop reverse direction, and we also see two versions of Link throughout the trailer, possibly suggesting that there might be some sort of time skip (and based on Link's outfit and haircut, it looks like that time skip places him in a 1960's drum circle.)

It's this long-haired, toga-wearing, other version of Link that has us particularly intrigued. We first see him falling from the skies, leading us to believe that the story will connect back to Skyward Sword, the first entry point in the Zelda universe's chronology. If that's the case, then simply by filling out more details from the universe's origins could help to untie this knot - or further tangle it. It's all literally up in the air, but even if the Zelda games continue to require an advanced degree from Dr. Brown's School of Time Jumping and Car Repair just to follow the story, that won't take away from this trailer being certifiably awesome.

Follow Dan on Twitter to learn more about his upcoming projects and find him on his podcast The Bachelor Zone to hear him talk about The Bachelor like it is a sport. (Because it is.)

Top Image: Nintendo

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Forgot Password?