In the upcoming Saved by the Bell reboot, Zack Morris has become governor of California, forcing us to do something no one has ever wanted to do: confront his politics. The show is understandably vague about it, only mentioning that he's facing criticism for closing so many schools in low-income areas, ushering in the plot of poor students getting a taste of Bayside High.

Although it's definitely a conservative move to slash services, that doesn't tell us much. Looking back at his history, though, it's like a blueprint for turning someone into the worst kind of objectivist: a privileged brat who lucked into a charmed life but thinks he earned it.

Just about every Saved by the Bell episode follows the same formula: Zack is presented with a set of chance circumstances, uses his easy access to free time and money to take advantage of it, and reaps the benefits, usually to the detriment of others. Sometimes he gets a feel-bad and makes it right, but he clearly never learns his lesson.

In Zack Morris' world, there's nothing that can't be overcome by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. When Lisa maxes out her credit cards, just hold a fundraiser among your rich friends. 

Calm down, Zachary Epstein.

When Kelly can't afford college, just work hard and luck into one of a limited number of scholarships. He also has antiquated beliefs about gender roles and becomes a capitalist monster anytime a business opportunity presents itself, often exploiting his own friends until they walk out. Sorry, but he's basically the Monopoly man with a radder haircut.

Top image: Universal Television

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