U.S. Congressional Candidate: Beyonce Is Not Black; She's An Undercover Italian
Not a lot is known about KW Miller -- not even what the KW stands for. A graduate from the not-fake-named Catholic University of America with a murky job history in "infrastructure," the independent politician is hoping to soon represent his sunburnt state of Florida in Congress. What we do know a lot about are his ideologies and views, many concerned with rooting out corruption, secrecy, and conspiracies in D.C. And none are more shocking than the infiltration of a Mediterranean femme fatale insurrectionist who has infiltrated the Black Lives Matter movement to destroy America from within.
You all know who we're talking about.
Congressional candidate Kilowatt Miller likes to use his significant platform on Twitter to put members of the deep state "on notice." Members like Planned Parenthood, Patti Labelle ...
... and the most dangerous member of all, Beyonce Knowles-Carter. Or should I say, Ann Marie Lastrassi? (Insert Hercule Poirot sting). According to Miller, Beyonce is the spy persona of Lastrassi, an Italian woman who is "faking" at being Black to prosper in America -- because that's how that works. And, to get all the conspiracy cards on the table (not that Miller is playing with a full deck), this Queen Marie is also a Satanist, part of the Illuminati and in the employ of George Soros to use BLM to incite race riots.
This is not the first time some tinfoil-enthusiast has accused Bey or Jay-Z of being part of the Illuminati, but Khaki Weenie Miller's sources are a bit more ... niche. Specifically, he either got this conspiracy from a single, now-deleted Instagram comment exposing Beyonce as a "dark Italian" or, somehow worse, an obvious Twitter joke thread mocking just how stupid such a conspiracy sounds.
At this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that Miller is part of the up-and-coming QAnon political brigade who are making bleach-scented waves in American politics. But what reason would a New Tea Party member have to claim that a charismatic African American is secretly from another country, you ask? Perhaps Miller knows more than we do. Maybe he's a time traveler from a dystopian future sent here to do some pre-emptive birtherism to stop the rise of Queen. It would at least explain why so little is known about Klueless Whitey Miller -- and why he looks and acts just like a grey-haired Eric Trump.
For more weird tangents and time-traveling QAnon conspiracies, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Top Image: Roc Nation