Doctor Jordan is off the clock this week as he slips into something more comfortable and makes us all extremely uncomfortable reading from some incredibly sexy novelizations of the films Rambo First Blood: Part 2, Face/Off, and Halloween.

Inspired By The Article 5 Hollywood Movies That Got Turned Into Stupid, Stupid Books

Writer: Jordan Breeding
Director of Photography: Caleb Gritsko
Editing: Andy Sowar, Jordan Breeding, Caleb Gritsko
Special Thanks: Devin Byam

Check out more of Jordan's Cracked work, see his other work, or connect on Twitter. And be sure to subscribe to Cracked's YouTube channel to check out episodes of our new and classic series.

New episodes of "Your Brain on Cracked" run every Friday at 3pm EST, or catch up on past YBOC episodes.

Go Behind the Scenes...

with stories from the worlds of movies, TV, entertainment, history, science, and so much more! Get the One Cracked Fact daily newsletter--no videos, no ads, just Cracked.

Forgot Password?