Arizona 'Hard' Tea Is The Trash Tea Of The People

The world has always been fascinated with tea. It has literally kickstarted revolutions. Now, it's bottled and sold in every form and price imaginable. The old stand-by being Arizona Iced Tea -- always available at gas stations, for 99 cents, for when you need something to pair with the finest of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. It's the ol' reliable, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Any other way that is, except boozy.

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Yep, that's Arizona "Hard" Green Tea, with ginseng, honey, and now vodka (You supply the sad life choices). It would have been fine if they'd followed the White Claw strategy and put in some nondescript gluten-free alcohol. Too bougie. Twisted Tea, the Kia of alcoholic tea beverages, uses malted barley. Too strong. But vodka? That's 100% perfect for Arizona Green Tea.

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It's the unifying alcoholic tea that's going to bring together everyone. From college students in shitty mid-size frats and sororities, to the sad businessman that needs a drink from the 7/11 by his hotel, to dumb teenagers who don't know what they want to ask their older brothers to buy them at a 200% markup. It's even fuel for the bozos that will later rob the convenience stores that they bought it from. It's the trash tea of the people.

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Sadly, the first release of Arizona Hard Tea seems to be up alone in Canada. If it performs well enough (and we have to imagine it will), it'll probably get rolled out everywhere else just in time to be a part of summer and tragic firework accidents.

Top Image: Kirsi/Flickr

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