Disney Sure Is Proud Of All The Crazy Sh*t They've Made
Disney wants to occupy pretty much all of your waking hours, hence their new streaming service / cheap electronic babysitter, Disney+. Yesterday, their official Twitter account sent out the kind of overlong thread normally reserved for an embarrassing celebrity meltdown, listing every single title that'll be available at launch. And it got weird.
The new service will offer everything from Goofy cartoons to the version of Star Wars with goofy cartoons spliced between scenes. But fans noticed that among classics like The Little Mermaid and The Lion King are a lot of stranger properties ... ones once long forgotten in shadowy corners of the Disney Vault and best left undisturbed. Like, say, Fuzzbucket.
That's a 1986 TV movie about a small boy and his magical friend who looks like the love child of ALF and a meth-addicted Cowardly Lion. Or how about 1999's Can Of Worms, a wacky Disney Channel movie about a teen who thinks he's an alien. Yes, if you only use the service to watch endless reels of Marvel stuff, you'll miss Disney's adaptation of Naked Lunch by way of Goosebumps.
Back in the '50s and '60s, Disney threw Don Knotts into every inane premise imaginable. Those movies are all here. In the '70s, you had stuff like The Bears And I, about a Vietnam vet and his ursine companions. That's present and accounted for. Sultan And The Rock Star -- what looks to be a Jungle Book spinoff about Shere Khan's coked-up misadventures in the '80s disco scene -- will be ready and willing to maul your senses on Day 1.
Of course, not everything made the cut. Song Of The South won't be available, and nor will the National Treasure or Mighty Ducks films (but for very different reasons). Also excluded: The Devil And Max Devlin, in which Bill Cosby literally plays Lucifer. Although come to think of it, that might be the only Cosby performance that holds up today.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
For more, check out The New Pixar Movie Looks Creepy AF and This Is Probably The Dumbest 'Star Wars' Deleted Scene.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. And we'll follow you everywhere.