5

Germany Housed Refugees In Former Concentration Camps

In less than a century, Germany went from causing people to flee in terror to welcoming almost a million refugees in one year, because history loves a good plot twist. Naturally, all those people needed a place to live, so Germany further proved how much they'd changed by housing some of them in a comfy building at Dachau. Wait, where have we heard that name befo-

Oh. Oh nooooo.

National ArchivesDon't worry, instead of that swastika, there's now a big sign that says "OPEN FOR BUSINESS!"

Of course, they aren't using the World War II "barracks" we associate with the Holocaust. Instead they're using the "good buildings," like the herb garden at Dachau. Because it's OK for Germany to house persecuted ethnic groups in a place where Germany eradicated persecuted ethnic groups, as long as it isn't where they tried to sleep while stacked on top of each other. One politician pointed out that "turning the former barracks into a refugee center would make it a 'better memorial site than a museum would be.'" It's certainly a better option than turning them into a McDonald's, we'll give him that.

4

Paris And Amsterdam "Solved" Public Urination By Installing Open-Air Urinals

The problem with public urination isn't only the smell and the fact that you might see a dick while not in a dick-seeing mood. Years of people relieving themselves can actually cause damage to concrete and structures, not just your psyche. Well, Paris and Amsterdam have had their fill of people letting loose, so they've taken steps to rid the city streets of golden showers. In order to stop their residents from peeing in public, they've been installing easily accessible urinals ... uh, also in public?

Yes, you can now go in massive containers sitting in the street instead of directly on it. This is the equivalent of your mom giving up and letting you have pizza for dinner, but insisting you eat it with a fork. It's a victory for decency and decorum, but a very small one.

Except for people with incredibly shy bladders, these pop-up pee stations probably work pretty well ... if you have a penis. If you don't, street urinals don't exactly help much, since you probably aren't an Olympic-class hoverer. After women protested the lack of friendly facilities, Amsterdam installed a "hidden" urinal just for them. It's stored underground during the day, and pops up at night to catch those "I can't make it home" beer pees.

For the record, we have no idea what Paris and Amsterdam have against setting up some good old-fashioned Porta Potties.

3

Canada Dealt With Overly Energetic School Kids By Setting Up Playground Mosh Pits

Canada's kids can be as badly behaved as the next country's, probably because they haven't lived in Canada for that long. A couple of schools are taking steps to address students' pent-up energy in rather ... Hunger Games-ish ways. Since regular recess wasn't cutting the mustard, school officials took the next logical step: they set up playground mosh pits and let the kids go at it.

National PostThe first rule of Canadian Children's Fight Club is "Don't tell protective services about Canadian Children's Fight Club."

2

German Debt Collectors Seized A Family's Pet And Sold It On eBay

If you're unfortunate enough to owe the government money in Germany, they can show up at your house and take your s**t. Sorry, we meant "your Shih Tzu." When one family in the city of Ahlen fell behind on their debts, city officials stopped by their place to look for "nonessential household goods" to seize. They passed over a laptop, a coffee maker, and the father's wheelchair, because come on, they're not cartoon villains. Then they walked away with the family's beloved dog, Edda. OK, we take that back.

The family of five, which included three young children, were behind on their bills because the father had been recently paralyzed in a work-related injury. Among other things, they couldn't afford the city's "dog tax," which sounds like a cute name for all the cords and remote controls you'll lose by being a dog owner, but is a real thing that costs around $90 per year.

1

Denmark's Pro-Sex Campaign Slogan: "Do It For Mom!"

Faced with declining childbirth rates, Denmark decided it was time to deliver a simple but important message to its population: f**k more. But how do you motivate people to get down and dirty with their significant others? Why, by reminding them of their mothers, of course.

SpiesAt least porn sites have the decency to make it a STEPmom.

The idea behind the "Do it for Denmark, Do it for Mom" ad campaign was basically that your mom deserves some grandchildren, goddammit, so get busy already. While it coincided with the government's own efforts to put a fire in everyone's loins and received ample airtime on Denmark's national broadcaster, the campaign was in truth masterminded by a company called Spies Travel.