The Internet's Debating Who's Sexier: Venom Or Ted Bundy?

The Internet's Debating Who's Sexier: Venom Or Ted Bundy?

There's usually a pretty vast ocean between true crime fans and the kind of messed-up people who're responsible for death row murderers getting more marriage proposals than most dudes get swiped right on Tinder. But since it's now 2019, lots of people on social media are starting to confess that they would've totally boned '70s necrophiliac serial killer Ted Bundy.

The Internet's Debating Who's Sexier: Venom Or Ted Bundy?
Sorry ladies, you're a bit too alive to be his type.

Thanks to the recent Netflix doc Conversations With A Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, which really focused on what a charmer he was, and the upcoming movie Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil And Vile, in which onetime Disney heartthrob Zac Efron plays the serial killer, we're currently privileged to witness the internet phenomenon of Hot Ted Bundy. Out of that has come a hardcore fanbase of people wanting to get all sweaty with a man who murdered and raped dozens of young women, and even cut some of their heads off to keep as mementos. Unsurprisingly, the internet has reacted with pretty unanimous disapproval.

But Bundy stans have found a rather left-field argument to try to shame the kink shamers: What about Venom? When that movie was released in 2018, plenty of folks came out of the woodwork to admit to having the hots for Venom. Not Tom Hardy, mind, but Tom Hardy encased into a shell of evil dark slime like an eldritch Kinder Egg. So how is loving one disgusting, ravenous monster any different than loving another? Like so:

Still recovering from the previous batshit fangirl feud they had to endure, Venom stans were quick to reject the comparison, bringing up the small distinguishing fact that Venom isn't freaking real. And while it might be a bit weird wanting to be pleasured by an infectious psychopath with a mouth that looks like it should be popping out of a treasure chest to devour careless adventurers, Venom never lured young women to their doom by preying on their kindness. Venom never slaughtered human beings for kicks (as much as he wanted to). Also, Venom was never into turtlenecks. Say what you will about Venom enthusiasts, but at least they have standards.

The Internet's Debating Who's Sexier: Venom Or Ted Bundy?
Sony Pictures

But perhaps the core schism here is more about a weird and not often discussed academic question: Is, like, history even real? If all you know about Ted Bundy is that he existed before you were born and now the hottie from High School Musical is starring in some glitzy caper about him, in what way is Bundy more real than your average onscreen velociraptor? And it's not really new or shocking that some people find it too hard to separate fiction from reality. Just ask Anna Gunn, who got more online hate for playing a fictional woman who disapproved of a self-aggrandizing murderer than an actual self-aggrandizing murderer.

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

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