Uncharted Reminds Us That Real Adventurers Eat Fresh And Keep In Touch With Sony!
Have you ever watched Uncharted's Nathan Drake creep through a French chateau and wondered how he manages to keep his ass so finger-snappingly tight?
Sony Interactive EntertainmentSand can't even squeeze through those tight cheeks. Mmm!
Sand can't even squeeze through those tight cheeks. Mmm!
Well, it's the same secret that allowed Jared Fogle cut down to his pedophilia weight: eating fresh.
Sony Interactive EntertainmentTry the new Dune Diarrhea Dew! Only 870 grams of sugar per serving, and nearly one serving in a 30-ounce cup!
Try the new Dune Diarrhea Dew! Only 870 grams of sugar per serving, and nearly one serving in a 30-ounce cup!
That's right, Drake got his buns from Subway. Uncharted 3 partnered with the popular soggy-meat factory and seafood salad preservation society to promote the game's multiplayer mode. If you bought one foot of sandwich together with a heart-clogging 30 oz soda, you got to play a month of Uncharted 3 multiplayer. It was a pretty standard cross-promotional sweepstakes, but it got weird when you played the game itself.
Once you had the game in your mayo-soaked fingers, you'd soon realize that your avatar certainly had a lot of Subway-inspired customization options. These included things like T-shirts, but also a bizarre "five-dollar footlong" taunt, which was less an insult and more an informative analysis of exactly how much the sandwich in question would cost and its approximate size. Assuming Subway wasn't illegally short-subbing you, of course. Can you imagine someone snapping your neck, and the last thing you see before you die is them performing a sandwich commercial for you?
Sony Interactive EntertainmentWhat better way to advertise than with a 12-year-old screaming racial slurs and murdering you?
What better way to advertise than with a 12-year-old screaming racial slurs and murdering you?
Fast-forward to Uncharted 4, in which Nate does what all good heroes do: He calls his wife to lie to her. In that scene, the camera sits for a good five seconds on a vibrating Sony phone, sitting face-down with the gorgeous, high-quality Sony logo in center frame.
Sony Interactive EntertainmentSony: "When you are being betrayed, call on Sony."