Source: The Verge
The news outlets are like that kid who keeps pulling the fire alarm. You can't ignore them completely because you might miss something important. We're all about helping you maintain your sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
Source: CBS News
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.
It's hard out there for millionaire purveyors of garbage pizza.