We feel you. Some weeks you just get too busy erecting life-sized, naked Trump statues to keep up with the news. Besides, no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte claims he was robbed at gunpoint in Rio

July 2016 was the hottest month ever recorded

Source: ABC News

Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort resigns in Russian scandal

Glass-coated kite strings killed three people in India

Source: CNN

Stalker arrested at Hollywood home of Kendall Jenner

California besieged by massive wildfires

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have settled their divorce case

Source: Variety, TMZ

Former Superbowl champ Darren Sharper sentenced to 18 years in prison for sexual assault

Gawker has shut down

Source: Forbes, Gawker

Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane convicted of perjury

Volvo and Uber are partnering to design self-driving cars

Source: VentureBeat

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