We feel you. Some weeks you just get too busy erecting life-sized, naked Trump statues to keep up with the news. Besides, no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
It's hard out there for millionaire purveyors of garbage pizza.
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.