Face-to-face intervention by police officers proved treacherous, as the target was visibly agitated and stabby. Negotiators were called in and attempted to reach a long-distance agreement, but no dice. The man didn't feel like chatting. So as a last resort, officers dispatched the impressively named Northrop Grumman Remotec ANDROS F6A bomb disposal robot, fully equipped with video, two-way sound, the arm strength of an adult man who's glanced at a barbell on TV at least once, and one hot pizza safely secured in its kung-fu grip.
That last bit may sound odd, but delivering food is actually a common disarming technique. The suicidal man was told that the pizza would only be released from the robot's steely grip if he agreed to FaceTime with the negotiators.
"What is this ... pineapple!? Deal's off!"
The man complied, because even bad pizza is marginally better than suicide, and less than an hour later, he dropped the knife and was taken into voluntary custody without incident. Imagine what the robots could accomplish with burrito technology ...
Performing CPR (With A Toilet Plunger)
Back in the late '80s, a 65-year-old career heart attack sufferer lapsed into cardiac arrest in his plush green recliner. His son, who (as shall become abundantly apparent) was not formally trained in cardiopulmonary resuscitation, wailed his very best "Don't you die on me!" and went to town on the old man's chest, with less-than-successful results. The program he was watching must have been MacGyver, because that's when the son decided to improvise with the unlikeliest tool imaginable.
CBS Television Distribution
Okay, maybe a little more likely than that.
Junior sprinted to the bathroom, snatched a plunger, and set to his father's unresponsive chest as if it were a low-flow toilet on the day after Thanksgiving. By the time paramedics arrived, the once-comatose man was breathing, moving under his own volition, and probably wondering why he smelled funny.
And now, for no reason, a picture of a steamer departing for Cleveland.
Now, here's the kicker: Junior's idea to perform plunger CPR wasn't novel. His mother had used the very same process to revive his very same old man six months earlier. Doctors were so flabbergasted by the repeated results that they decided to research what exactly made the technique so successful, and it's quite possible that this mother/son team of plunger aficionados may have kick-started a revolution of traditional CPR. By offering both compression and decompression -- as opposed to only the former when using the old-fashioned manual technique -- plunger CPR simultaneously ventilates the lungs and improves the forced circulation of blood throughout the body. In fact, studies have determined that 24 percent of patients survive when receiving plunger CPR, as opposed to only 11 percent with the conventional method.
As a direct result, the FDA has recently approved the widespread release of the ResQPump, a suction-enhanced CPR device inspired by the tool you use to clean up the aftermath of a Carl's Jr. combo meal.
The same Carl's Jr. that's the cause of you needing CPR to begin with.
Ready for more cures that work but we still would absolutely recommend doctors and actual medicine over? Then check out 7 Horrifically Stupid Decisions That Somehow Saved Lives and 19 Home Remedies You Won't Believe Actually Work.
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