This week was mostly about creeping, lurking things: police militarization, tiny women hiding in cupboards, the pits of Hell. But all we know is that we want one of those big ass cats.

5 Reasons Police Have Probably Started The Next Civil War

What's happening between the police and the public has similarities to The Cold War: two clearly defined sides, propaganda, espionage, and the near-constant threat of violence. Absent: Ronald Reagan and breakdancing.

Allison Shelley/Getty Images News/Getty Images

"Handing out justice is not their job. We have an entire legal system in place for that very purpose."

The 5 Coolest Pets Humanity Has Bred into Existence

What if science somehow combined a serval, an African wild cat, and a regular house cat? And then registered the ensuing hellspawn as an official cat breed and you could buy one and name it Big Boy #1 and walk it like a boss?

The 10 Cracked Posts Everyone Was Talking About 5/10 Edition

"What are the practical advantages of owning a tiny zebra-horse or zebra-pony instead of a regular one? Who cares? Look at it!"

5 Hallmarks of Bad Parenting That Are Actually Good for Kids

Do yourself a favor: put away the hand sanitizer, stop reading garbage about vaccines, AND LET YOUR KIDS PLAY IN THE DIRT. They'll be like little filthy hippies - smarter, happier, and able to fight diseases better.

The 10 Cracked Posts Everyone Was Talking About 5/10 Edition

"At a sufficiently young age, children don't even have properly formed skulls, much less strong immune systems. And you're going to let them stomp around among the discarded drug needles and hookworms?"

"Think of all the things you've done in your most private moments -- the things you thought nobody would ever see. Now imagine a homeless Japanese woman had been watching it all."

"he strip mine beneath Centralia caught fire, and...the fire is still burning...five decades later. The massive, smoldering hellblaze has opened up sinkholes, steam pits and carbon monoxide vents all over the town."

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

With bonus picture of Lenny Kravitz in a gigantic scarf!

Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you're thrilled with your life, and you're happy with your relationships. Enjoy the res

"Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is 'The actors are clearly visible.'"

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