Do you remember back when Friends was big, and every girl you knew had Rachel's haircut? (AC)ZD is the Rachel of girl people right now. If you're of the female persuasion and you don't want to dress like syphilis in a tube top, this is who you're probably getting some fashion cues from. And if you're a guy, a reasonable facsimile of this girl is who you're trying to meet, not to have dirty, filthy sex with, but to marry and make babies and dirty, filthy noodle casseroles with.
But you never, ever will. Everevereverever. You have a better chance of meeting a meatball lady and making SpaghettiO babies with her. Here's why.
Setting Up the Myth: Zooey's Accessibility
Every generation gets a couple of sex symbols, and most are as accessible as riding shotgun on a mission to Mars; Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn and Mary Lou Retton, for example. But Zooey, we're told, is one of us. She's goofy. She's awkward. She doesn't dress like a hooker. She's a Polaroid snapshot of your mother back before the saddlebags and nipple-high jeans ate her body. Watch this and tell me you're not in love. I'm in love and I don't even like girls unless there's a chance I can get a friendship bracelet out of the relationship. The best part? About ten years ago Sweet Zee was an altogether different person: