SI Swimsuit Issue — I think it' hilarious that in an era of Maxim, FHM, Playboy and THE FUCKING INTERNET, people still get all worked up over a "special" sports magazine that only comes out once a year, containing a bunch of fully-covered models in swimwear. I've gotten more turned on by photographs in the maternity section of the JC Penney catalog than looking at the airbrushed, moronically un-nude bodies of the ladies of Sports Illustrated. If you really want to see hot, half-naked chicks, I would suggest saving yourself the SI cover price, instead heading on over to Google and typing in, "hot, half-naked chicks." Or just watch some free hardcore porn previews instead. Your call.
Frat Guy Humor at the Office — Seriously, if I get one more e-mail forwarded to me making fun of "Frat Guy Business Dudes with Striped Shirts" (and it' funny how these ALWAYS seem to come from Frat Guy Business Dudes with Striped Shirts), I'm going to set my building on fire. Making fun of frat dudes is like making fun of retarded people-it' easy and obvious and been done a million times before. Laughing at some bored office monkey' rant about his Red Bull-fueled neo-yuppie existence does not absolve you from being exactly the type of douchebag the guy is talking about. If you want good office humor, leave it to the pros-