CRACKED Profiles: Dan Naturman

NAME: Dan Naturman (pronounced Natter-man)

CURRENT BASE OF OPERATIONS: New York City

ORIGINALLY FROM: Stamford, CT

YOU KNOW ME FROM: Late Night With Conan O'Brien, The Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central. "I was the one who caused the big hullabaloo on Last Comic Standing 2 after not getting into the house the finals in Vegas. What you don't know is that, after realizing that perhaps they messed up, the producers offered me the chance to go into the house as a 'wild card' after the first comic was bounced out. I turned the offer down because I didn't trust them. I figured they'd rig it so that I was eliminated immediately."

MY FIRST TIME ON STAGE: Stand-Up New York comedy club in 1993. "It was probably the most nervous I've ever been. Think 'bully threatening to beat you up after school'-level nervousness times 10. I actually did pretty well, though, and thought my career was about to take off. It would be nine years before I made a living doing stand-up (and not a good one)."

BEST GIG I EVER HAD: "To me, any gig where the check clears and I'm not assaulted, is a good one. But seriously, folks, one time I opened for Howie Mandel in Lowell, MA, and we flew up and back on a Lear jet. That was pretty cool. By contrast, on a recent gig in Baltimore, I went Greyhound."

CROWD I'M MOST LIKELY TO BOMB IN FRONT OF: I would have to guess it'd be the Showtime at the Apollo crowd. The worst crowd I actually have bombed in front of was a group of scary white folks at a hotel in Binghamton, NY. It was a ski weekend, and a comedy show was on the bill. Nobody was even listening, and halfway through my set someone yelled out, 'Are you a Jew?'"

CITY OR STATE I'D MOST LIKE TO SEE WIPED OFF THE MAP: "Wiped off the map may be a little harsh, but I recall Richmond, VA, being a particularly depressing place. I was told the Confederate White House and Museum was interesting, but I never made it over there."

MOVIE I COULND'T BELIEVE EVER GOT MADE: "There are so many to choose from, but I think I'd have to go with Rollerball 2002 with Rebecca Romijn. In fact, I'm still not convinced that I didn't dream the whole thing."

PERSONAL DREAM PROJECT: "Cocktail Hour With Dan Naturman -a roundtable talk show with a twist. The set is actually a full-functioning bar and guests are served their favorite libations as they discuss issues ranging from the war on terror to Jennifer Love Hewitt' breasts. Think the Howard Stern E! show meets Politically Incorrect meets the Sky Bar on Sunset Boulevard. Come to Cocktail Hour and remember, laugh responsibly."

Dan' weekly web radio show can be downloaded from his site:
dannaturman.com, and be sure to befriend him at www.myspace.com/dannaturman!