STARRING: Lindsay Lohan
SYNOPSIS: When a bright young woman, Penny Fulbright (Lohan), gets kicked out of Harvard for fellating all five members of the Strokes in front of her entire sociology class, she moves to Japan to find herself. There, she meets Jack, an American competitive eater who discovers her immense talent for hot dog eating after she fellates the entire American team in less than 57 seconds. Jack teaches Fulbright the secrets of competitively eating hot dogs, as well as the true meaning of teamwork. But will the size disparity between the hot dogs that she must eat and the dicks of the sort of men who engage in competitive eating derail her chances?
STARRING: Katie Holmes
SYNOPSIS: A professional synchronized swimmer, Jennifer Heinz, (Holmes) meets a hunky professional diver with some unusual personality traits (Greg Louganis). Heinz falls in love with him despite the protests of her team that her new boyfriend seems to be over compensating for something. The team, led by a bitchy glory hog, Penny Entwhistle (Jessica Biel), devises a complicated plan to break the pair up before the world championships in Beijing. Entwhistle initially recruits a Zen master (Chow Yun-Fat) to drive a wedge between the couple with religious mumbo jumbo, but the master ends up teaching everyone the true meaning of teamwork.