If you arrive nude, youngish and attractive, you have probably traveled into the past via technology native to your own time period. You should expect to be clothed almost immediately, charged with a mission of earth-shattering importance, confused by temporary amnesia and/or thrust into a wild cosmic adventure beyond all comprehension.
If you have arrived in the future wearing a familiar outfit that has become smelly, rumpled and stained, or are naked and thoroughly unsightly, you have simply passed out after excessive indulgence in your chemically assisted "hobbies" and a large period of time has passed by without your knowing. Depending on your particular circumstances, you may be unemployed, homeless or pregnant.
Your Responsibilities in The Future
If you are famous, you will be expected to perform the following duties:
- Quote popular maxims attributed to your person on a regular basis
- Express shock and amazement at the miracles of modern technology, even if such technology is in fact based upon your own work
- Be loveable despite being best known for prodigious rape and murder
- Develop a near-obsessive affection for some pointless ephemeron of the period visited, such as televised wrestling, velcro or cheese doodles
If you are not famous, you may be expected to:
-Cause a global pandemic by carrying some long-vanquished virus through the time portal
- Create widespread laughter by being of odd race and obviously unfamiliar with local customs
- Die at the callous hands of an uncaring dystopian bureaucracy