Along with molestation chat rooms and
Brokeback Mountain parodies, one of the Internet's finest achievements is the selling of nostalgic T-shirts. We all know the type-vintage-looking tees that recall places, brands and events from our childhoods in the 80s and 90s. But if you're like us, not every moment of growing up was all that great.
Lucky for you, we've got nostalgic vintage-style T-shirts for the real grown-up children of America!
Fruit Loops? Maybe for Donald Trump, Jr. The only thing a lot of regular kids' parents would shell out dough for was Total Raisin Bran, whose complete supply of vitamins and minerals never quite made up for the fact that it tasted like-and made your stool resemble-dirty plywood.
The 80s weren't very "rad" for that kid in your science class with Muscular Dystrophy. Those vintage Alf T-shirts are funny and all, but the main thing he remembers from his youth is the disease that crippled his still-developing bones, muscles and will to interact with peers.
Remember when you learned that Santa wasn't real? For a lot of us, it was when dad drank too much egg nog, scared mommy off to grandma's house with a bike chain and gave you a brick for Christmas. He also probably gave it to you in the face.
Like having a crush on Saved by the Bell's
Kelly Kapowski or playing Double Dragon with your friends, getting caught fucking a piÃƒÂ±ata happened to a lot of kids in the 80s. It was actually more common than you would think and makes for a zany memory and an even zanier vintage-style T-shirt.
Say, how about the wave of nostalgia for games like Twister, dodgeball and kickball? Well, a lot of us don't want to remember those games. Why? Because we were picked last in gym and promptly hit in the face with a big red ball (two in Twister).
If you're like us, than your parents enjoyed a little gin with lunch. So when mommy had an "oopsie" on the way to Sears for a hatchet and some pantyhose, you got to make up fun stories about "Mexicans speeding" or " evading the Jews trying to rape you." Remember that? Those were the days.
Like fucking a piñata, experimenting with homosexuality is something that a lot of boys and girls tried when they were younger, even up to the age of 19. Hey-we probably all did it at one time or another, it's nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn't mean you're gay. Ha Ha.