Every movie set in the not-so-distant future contains a number of the same elements: a corrupt Big Brother-esque government, flying cars and super potent drugs. And while that whole Big Brother thing is just totally outlandish (right?) and fueling up a flying car would probably cost a year' salary these days, we're a little disappointed that the whole super drug thing hasn't come to pass.
In honor of summer, the season of drug addled outdoor concerts, CRACKED presents a short, handy guide to the super drugs predicted in some classic sci-fi flicks and the likelihood that you will ever get to take them.
Movie: A Clockwork OrangeDrug:
Milk spiked with vellocet and synthemescHow It Was Ingested:
Drunk in a creepy barWhat It Did:
"Sharpened you up and made you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence." Basically, it turned you into a raping and stabbing maniac.Chances You'll Be Taking It at a Concert This Summer:
On the one hand, the effects of the spiked milk sound an awful lot like meth. On the other hand, from what we've seen in toothless mug shots, we're pretty certain that meth addicts don't get a whole lot of calcium. Movie: SleeperDrug:
That OrbHow It Was Ingested:
You just held on to itWhat It Did:
Made you all tingly
Chances You'll Be Taking It at a Concert This Summer:
The closest you're likely to come to approximating the experience of "that orb" is going to Spencer Gifts, using one hand to hold onto one of those balls that make your hair stand up while using your free hand and the Cindy Crawford posters in the back to discretely jerk off.Movie: ScannersDrug:
EphemerolHow It Was Ingested:
OrallyWhat It Did:
Increased telekinetic powers, gave you the ability to make someone' head explodeChances You'll Be Taking It at a Concert This Summer:
That time you took acid at the Alman Brothers concert you were convinced you had telekinetic powers and that you could make your friend' head explode. However, once you came down you realized it was the three-note, 47-minute solos that made your friend' head explode.
Movie: Minority ReportDrug:
NeuroinHow It Was Ingested:
Just like an asthma inhalerWhat It Did:
Makes you rant and rave about the evils of psychiatry and jump up and down on couches on national TV.Chances You'll Be Taking It at a Concert This Summer:
Apparently, it has already been invented so not bad. Movie: Robocop 2Drug:
NukeHow It Was Ingested:
Don't remember, but we're pretty sure that it glowedWhat It Did:
Made you bat-shit insane