a laughing matter, though, is the look on people' faces when they see you wrestling the birds for the bread they just threw. A man' gotta eat, dammit! A man' gotta
6. In Back of Chinese Restaurants
Do you think the Wong family is gonna let all that delicious Moo goo gai pan go to waste by selling it at discount prices by the end of the day? No way! They're going to toss it in the trash out back. This is where you step in. With an empty tray you fought off another bum with your knife.
If you want to get to Point A to P oint B without sucking off the conductor, the best way to do this is by rushing on board a train, then running into the nearest bathroom before you get asked for a ticket. Once the rattling door is locked, listen carefully for your stop. Sure, some surly business man might be upset that he has to "hold it" until he gets home. But hey, you're homeless. Would he rather you "hold it" in his best shoes?
Always make sure that there are a lot of people there before you make your walk-on guest appearance. If the place is packed, open the fence and step right in. Hopefully there will be so many indistinguishable faces that nobody' really going to notice or care if there' one more body they can't quite put a finger on. There' usually a BBQ as well, so also make sure you're first in line when they start handing out the dogs. Don't ever get screwed when it comes to free food, that' the homeless man' creed!
Find your future mansion.
Hookers make good punching practice. Just make sure you get sucky sucky before you start getting all Ivan Drago on them.
Nothing says new lock better than old brick through old window. When the new family' on vacation, make yourself at home. Hell, you earned it... at one point in your life. Just watch out for the new guard dog or Sloman Shield that might be on the door. Those two obstacles will fuck-you-up.
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