Top Picks 09.29.09: 8-Bit Hotties and Moms' Crushes

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

09.29.2009

Top Eight 8-Bit Hotties:

DOB was upset he didn't make this list of men your mom's have crushes on:

7 Most Amazing One Take Video Clips:

The 100 Greatest Youtube Clips in 4 Minutes:

The Eiffel Tower is so much more than a monument in Paris:

Family Guy goes Disney:

Be your own Daniel-san in Amateur Ninja:

Buy Cracked Editor David Wong's book right now:

"What's that scent you're wearing? It's... interes-" "It's jizz.":
Thanks to Susannah via email.

"Alright, got that roof off the house. Let's go grab a beer." "Frank, are you sure we got the right house?":

Insane surfing wipeouts:

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr... Uh... Horse Dick?":

Is this really what dating was like in 1987?:
Thanks to Man with Beard in the Mirth Canal.

Top 10 Jay-Z Disses:

7 Ways the Internet is Ruining Your Life:

The National Science Foundation Love to Surf Porn and Cost Tax Payers Money:

5 X-Men Spin-offs they Need to Make:

50 Extraordinary and Attractive Billboards:

Double the Fun: 100 Sexy Photos of Twins:

10 Hints that Stewie is Gay:

South Park invades real-life, again:
Thanks to Mongo in the Mirth Canal.

Your favorite video game characters on Facebook:

Lisa Marie sure has a lot of faith in her pigtails:

11 Things Google Should Atone for on Its 11th Anniversary:

20 Disturbing Family Photos:

Conan gives it his all... and injures himself:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: probably the most specific page in the entire database.
Submitted by KellstErik in the Mirth Canal.

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09.25.2009

20 Pictures of Animals Being Gay:

Song: "The Wrong Hole":

25 Pictures of People Who Dressed Themselves in the Dark:

Best Robot Chicken moments featuring giant robots:

Human Tetris:

There might actually be a computer movie cooler than Wargames:
Thanks to MC via email.

Top 10 Action Babes:

"Was I just in a wreck? Awesome. Time to masturbate":

True Life: I Answered a Craigslist Ad:

Baffling. Just... baffling:

Who needs sexy clothes when you have sexy paint?:

Who thought the dance squad would be hotter than the cheerleaders?:

Honda introduces the Segway's retarded cousin:
Thanks to Vlad the Impala in the Mirth Canal.

Believe it or not, Ian Fortey does work outside of Cracked: Inside the Mind of a Cow Sex Trial Jurist:

4 People Who Make Dexter Look Like a Model Citizen:

Wallace and Gromit's Latest Adventure:

Which Movie Hero Are You?:

Vanessa Raia knows how to wear a tie properly:

Finally, a site for sports fans and chronic masturbators:
Thanks to Remora in the Mirth Canal.

11 Most Ironically Banned Books of All Time:

Insane basketball shot:

From top-tier NFL quarterback to "that guy" in the back of the photo:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A list of films that you'll never ever get to see.
Submitted by polancoj16 in the Mirth Canal.

09.23.2009

23 Reasons to Go to Oktoberfest:

The 13 Funniest SNL Digital Shorts:

Awkward family moments:

A new PSA from Will Ferrell:

"Did you bring protection?" "Yes, I always keep kebabs on me. You know, just to be safe.":

"After you destroy this crucifix, we shall feast on the Smarties inside... and then have cake and ice cream.":

The Venture Bros. panel from Dragon*Con:

The 10 Worst Movies to Open at Number One:

10 Non-Pornographic Pictures Bob Saget Has Definitely Masturbated To:

Is your hair turning women off? Probably:

"Freeze! You're under arre- Hey, is that a Wii?":

Charlize Theron gets naked in public:

The greatest Half Life 2 mod. Ever:
Thanks to TinyPenguininja in the Mirth Canal.

Who'd win the fight between Superman and the Hulk?:

One Queen and Eleven Presidents:

What a lovely... everything you have, Jennifer Copeland:

A very disturbing set of videos:
Thanks to The Moose in the Mirth Canal.

10 of the Funniest South Park Songs:

11 Photos Ruined By Animals Doing Nasty Things:

Girl or sex doll?:
Thanks to Wendy via email.

11 Types of Strangers:

15 Reasons Why Longcat is Inducted into the Geek Hall of Fame:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Women in refrigerators. Sadly, it wasn't what our sexually depraved minds were hoping for.
Submitted by Demos182 in the Mirth Canal.

09.18.2009

10 of the Craziest Awards Crashers:

Top 10 It's Always Sunny Moments:

Blondes maybe easy targets, but this one killed an alligator. What the hell have you done today?:

The most compelling argument in favor of gay marriage:

Viva Caligula: "You know, just on my way to an orgy, murdering people and junk. Just another day.":

Who are the most influential men of 2009? Ask Men has the answer:

People laugh at our anti-nature campaign. But this monkey pushed a woman off a cliff. Fuck that:

10 Unbelievable Videos of Little Kids Getting Owned (It's not what you think, NAMBLA):

Sherri Gulley's school uniform doesn't fit quite right:

This is why you don't fuck with gamers. Ever:
Thanks to revdevsadvct in the Mirth Canal.

What romantic comedies think about men:

The cruelest photo on the planet:

6 People Who Could Play Bilbo Baggins:

Amazon Hijacked: 10 Funniest Review Threads:
Thanks to Mike via email.

10 Dumbest People Who Deliver Our News:

"My goatee isn't stupid.":

We finally found some Ghostbusters hotter than Bill Murray:

Gladstone claims it's a snake with a leg. Seanbaby maintains that it just has a mutated dick. Brockway wants to get it drunk:
Thanks to RuneJoker in the Mirth Canal.

10 Craziest Baseball Rules from the Past:

Jay Leno mocks children for not reading, messes up plot to Hamlet:

We thought we were going to be seeing actual whale tails. Still, we weren't disappointed:

11 Real Names of Rappers:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: This tree ain't nobody's property.
Submitted by DNASnatcher in the Mirth Canal.

09.15.2009

Surfing dogs. Fucking gnarly, bro:

A site for zombie lovers everywhere:

Five secretly awesome things you didn't know Patrick Swayze accomplished in his life:

A sneak peek at Titan Maximum, the story of five idiots trying to save a moon of Saturn:

Awesome and up close pictures of tornadoes:

10 Most Ridiculous Romance Novel Titles:

15 Awesome Old School Photos of Ah-nold:

"Th- That's not a bear." "Just roll with it.":

5 Ways Wolverine Could've Been Sharper:

Yes, DOB, Kanye West is retarded:
Thanks to BondFiction in the Mirth Canal.

One man Michael Jackson cover, a capella:

Where retarded tweets go to die:
Thanks to Tyrone via email.

Swaim kept saying he had evidence that being an elk would rule. We never thought he'd be right:

18 Photos of the weirdest competition on Earth:

11 Hidden Secrets in Fight Club:

21 Failed Twitter Hashtags:

10 Best Athletes Who Are Bad:

Don't barf, don't barf, don't ba- Holy shit!:

Marshmallow Torture:
Thanks to Ripper in the Mirth Canal.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Need a good book about bagpipes? Look no further, friends.
Submitted by nchammer326 in the Mirth Canal.

09.11.2009

Is it a goth? An emo? A terrible Halloween costume? Or is it...a ZOMBIE?:

11 Best Tranny Moments in Entertainment:

11 Greatest Superhero Bromances:

A review of the sexercise ball! By an actual woman! (NSFW):

Adult Swim serves Hitler a fresh dish of hatin':

10 Incredibly Nasty NASCAR Crashes:

Megan Fox says she won't appear in any nude scenes or sex tapes. We can all stop caring about her now:

6 Truly True Blood Moments from Season 2:

Of all the things South Africa doesn't get right, we figured broadband Internet wouldn't be on that list:
Thanks to ralf23 in the Mirth Canal.

How Joe Wilson interacts with young interns:

If this doesn't tug at your heartstrings it's probably because you don't have a heart:

Apparently someone in D.C. forgot to check their calendar today:

We've never heard of Humping Guy before, but we like his style:
Thanks to Maria via email.

10 People Who Made it Cool to be Drunk:

Is Nick McDonell the next Hunter S. Thompson?:

The greatest keytar player ever:

10 Jolliest Chick Bullriders:

You know what? We'll pass on that birthday invite:

Can Dokken defeat this chicken breast?:
Thanks to Disco Stu in the Mirth Canal.

Great, just what the world needs: another Internet meme:

7 Shattered Objects That Shouldn't Be:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: In case you ever need to look up a catgirl, now you know where to go.
Submitted by TheAlmightyCoxy in the Mirth Canal.

09.08.2009

Conan O'Brien: demolition expert:

Pole dancing dolls and cussing cats:

Australians have huge toilets, apparently:

We'd let her kick our ass any day of the week:

Fantasy Telemarketer is cold-calling your name:

Will Draw Anything for $2:
Thanks to Vermillion in the Mirth Canal.

Marvel's New Fall Line-Up:

20 Awesome Divorce Cakes:

"Those elk won't get out of the street." "K, we'll talk to them... hey guys, you mind moving?" "Fuck you, copper!":

Where to go if you need the scoop on the bathroom you're about to use. Is there an app for this?:

A Tribute to Hot Girls Draped on Cars:

The Former Careers of UFC Fighters:

5 Characters that Embody the Spirit of Labor Day:

Just a few reasons we avoid Wal-Mart:
Thanks to Jes via email.

"I bet you can't do a life-sized Harley." "Done." "Son of a-":

Looks like someone needs LifeCall:

15 Awful Obama Tattoos:

We're still debating if this is better than Toto's version:
Thanks to VoodooTissue in the Mirth Canal.

That Jennifer Vaughn is one piece of ass. We know from experience, dude. If you know what we mean:

We're thinking anyone who has a set will avoid this place:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Did Hungary compete in the '88 Winter Olympics?
Submitted by Quagmar in the Mirth Canal.

09.04.2009

Stoned cats listening to music:

Megan Fox lesbian kiss and Captain EO returns:

A few reasons why you should be watching the U.S. Open:

The best Adult Swim on-air promos:

Cute picture? Or undeniable proof of pedophile pandas:

11 Worst Movie Posters From the 80s:

10 Awesome Holes-in-One:

Item #332 that rednecks can blame on Obama: a shortage in demolition derby cars:

A new way for women to make money in this hard economic climate:

Beavis and Butthead return to review Extract:

Can't keep track of all the awesome stuff you don't want to miss this Fall? Don't worry, Ask Men has your back:

Ben and Jerry's gay marriage themed ice cream contains chocolate covered pretzels. We did not make that up:
Thanks to FlyingSquid in the Mirth Canal.

Some pics to get you in the mood for Halloween:

Colleen Carrera shows us how to wear an eyepatch:

We're still trying to decide which one is hotter:

10 Bizarre Cigarette Ads:

An interesting way to support healthcare reform:
Thanks to reckless abrandon in the Mirth Canal.

A look back on this summer's movies:

A new, deadly way to put on a rubber:

The 10 Hottest Hip-Hop Wives:
Thanks to Alex via email.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: When Kobe Bryant said he learned his crossover from God, he wasn't kidding.
Submitted by Optimus Pimp in the Mirth Canal.

09.01.2009

Some of the best Mr. T pictures ever:

The 10 Best Family Guy Back-2-School Clips:

Tetris can alter the structure of your brain... but only after it gets the long, straight piece:

This fat kid loves bacon. Go figure:

How Intimate is Too Intimate?:

Some horror sequels that weren't all that terrible:

10 Catastrophic Ways Men Have Tried to Look Pretty:

Disney buys Marvel and plans for Rambo 5:

Samurai on the Toilet:
Thanks to PJ via email.

Glenn Beck reinforces our belief that Mormons are dirty, filthy perverts:
Thanks to skatfree in the Mirth Canal.

The most ridiculous fight scene ever:

The battle of the Jens versus the Angies:

Reason #124 why we won't have children:

We're not sure if Mindi Smith really knows how to wash a car. We also don't care:

10 Songs That Will Prepare You for a Robot Uprising:

The most terrifying banana ever:
Thanks to plustax in the Mirth Canal.

24 photos of people on roller coasters:

The 13 Sexiest Superhero Costumes:

11 Terrible Translations for Nintendo:

A Cracked intern:

101 Ridiculously Hot Redheads:

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A list of people who married their cousins.
Submitted by Dan the Great in the Mirth Canal.