Top Picks 09.29.09: 8-Bit Hotties and Moms' Crushes

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

09.29.2009

Top Eight 8-Bit Hotties: [Asylum]

DOB was upset he didn't make this list of men your mom's have crushes on: [lemondrop]

7 Most Amazing One Take Video Clips: [Neatorama]

The 100 Greatest Youtube Clips in 4 Minutes: [Youtube.Comedy]

The Eiffel Tower is so much more than a monument in Paris: [College Humor]

Family Guy goes Disney: [Huffington Post]

Be your own Daniel-san in Amateur Ninja: [Adult Swim]

Buy Cracked Editor David Wong's book right now: [John Dies at the End]

"What's that scent you're wearing? It's... interes-" "It's jizz.": [The Frisky]
Thanks to Susannah via email.

"Alright, got that roof off the house. Let's go grab a beer." "Frank, are you sure we got the right house?":[Fark]

Insane surfing wipeouts: [Uncoached]

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr... Uh... Horse Dick?": [I Am Bored]

Is this really what dating was like in 1987?: [Boing Boing]
Thanks to Man with Beard in the Mirth Canal.

Top 10 Jay-Z Disses: [Ask Men]

7 Ways the Internet is Ruining Your Life: [coed]

The National Science Foundation Love to Surf Porn and Cost Tax Payers Money: [Unpolitcal Mag]

5 X-Men Spin-offs they Need to Make: [Mania]

50 Extraordinary and Attractive Billboards: [10steps]

Double the Fun: 100 Sexy Photos of Twins: [Gunaxin]

10 Hints that Stewie is Gay: [Liquid Generation]

South Park invades real-life, again: [YouTube]
Thanks to Mongo in the Mirth Canal.

Your favorite video game characters on Facebook: [College Humor]

Lisa Marie sure has a lot of faith in her pigtails: [Gorilla Mask]

11 Things Google Should Atone for on Its 11th Anniversary: [11Points]

20 Disturbing Family Photos: [The Chive]

Conan gives it his all... and injures himself: [Huffington Post]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: probably the most specific page in the entire database.
Submitted by KellstErik in the Mirth Canal.

If you want to find out what we're looking at online before we post it here, be sure to follow us on Twitter and become our fan on Facebook.

09.25.2009

20 Pictures of Animals Being Gay: [Big Stupid Idiot]

Song: "The Wrong Hole": [College Humor]

25 Pictures of People Who Dressed Themselves in the Dark: [The Chive]

Best Robot Chicken moments featuring giant robots: [Adult Swim]

Human Tetris: [Huffington Post]

There might actually be a computer movie cooler than Wargames: [Computer Beach Party]
Thanks to MC via email.

Top 10 Action Babes: [Ask Men]

"Was I just in a wreck? Awesome. Time to masturbate":[Fark]

True Life: I Answered a Craigslist Ad: [lemondrop]

Baffling. Just... baffling: [I Am Bored]

Who needs sexy clothes when you have sexy paint?: [coed]

Who thought the dance squad would be hotter than the cheerleaders?: [Uncoached]

Honda introduces the Segway's retarded cousin: [The U3-X]
Thanks to Vlad the Impala in the Mirth Canal.

Believe it or not, Ian Fortey does work outside of Cracked: Inside the Mind of a Cow Sex Trial Jurist: [Asylum]

4 People Who Make Dexter Look Like a Model Citizen: [Mania]

Wallace and Gromit's Latest Adventure: [Gunaxin]

Which Movie Hero Are You?: [Liquid Generation]

Vanessa Raia knows how to wear a tie properly: [Gorilla Mask]

Finally, a site for sports fans and chronic masturbators: [Sporno]
Thanks to Remora in the Mirth Canal.

11 Most Ironically Banned Books of All Time: [11Points]

Insane basketball shot: [Huffington Post]

From top-tier NFL quarterback to "that guy" in the back of the photo: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A list of films that you'll never ever get to see.
Submitted by polancoj16 in the Mirth Canal.

09.23.2009

23 Reasons to Go to Oktoberfest: [The Chive]

The 13 Funniest SNL Digital Shorts: [Huffington Post]

Awkward family moments: [College Humor]

A new PSA from Will Ferrell: [Huffington Post]

"Did you bring protection?" "Yes, I always keep kebabs on me. You know, just to be safe.": [lemondrop]

"After you destroy this crucifix, we shall feast on the Smarties inside... and then have cake and ice cream.": [I Am Bored]

The Venture Bros. panel from Dragon*Con: [Adult Swim]

The 10 Worst Movies to Open at Number One: [coed]

10 Non-Pornographic Pictures Bob Saget Has Definitely Masturbated To: [Uncoached]

Is your hair turning women off? Probably: [Ask Men]

"Freeze! You're under arre- Hey, is that a Wii?":[Fark]

Charlize Theron gets naked in public: [Asylum]

The greatest Half Life 2 mod. Ever: [YouTube]
Thanks to TinyPenguininja in the Mirth Canal.

Who'd win the fight between Superman and the Hulk?: [Mania]

One Queen and Eleven Presidents: [Unpolitical Mag]

What a lovely... everything you have, Jennifer Copeland: [Gorilla Mask]

A very disturbing set of videos: [YouTube]
Thanks to The Moose in the Mirth Canal.

10 of the Funniest South Park Songs: [Liquid Generation]

11 Photos Ruined By Animals Doing Nasty Things: [11Points]

Girl or sex doll?: [The Frisky]
Thanks to Wendy via email.

11 Types of Strangers: [College Humor]

15 Reasons Why Longcat is Inducted into the Geek Hall of Fame: [Geekpad Show]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Women in refrigerators. Sadly, it wasn't what our sexually depraved minds were hoping for.
Submitted by Demos182 in the Mirth Canal.

09.18.2009

10 of the Craziest Awards Crashers: [Liquid Generation]

Top 10 It's Always Sunny Moments: [College Humor]

Blondes maybe easy targets, but this one killed an alligator. What the hell have you done today?: [Asylum]

The most compelling argument in favor of gay marriage: [Huffington Post]

Viva Caligula: "You know, just on my way to an orgy, murdering people and junk. Just another day.": [Adult Swim]

Who are the most influential men of 2009? Ask Men has the answer: [Ask Men]

People laugh at our anti-nature campaign. But this monkey pushed a woman off a cliff. Fuck that:[Fark]

10 Unbelievable Videos of Little Kids Getting Owned (It's not what you think, NAMBLA): [Uncoached]

Sherri Gulley's school uniform doesn't fit quite right: [Gorilla Mask]

This is why you don't fuck with gamers. Ever: [Gizmodo]
Thanks to revdevsadvct in the Mirth Canal.

What romantic comedies think about men: [lemondrop]

The cruelest photo on the planet: [I Am Bored]

6 People Who Could Play Bilbo Baggins: [Mania]

Amazon Hijacked: 10 Funniest Review Threads: [Telegraph]
Thanks to Mike via email.

10 Dumbest People Who Deliver Our News: [Veto Corleone]

"My goatee isn't stupid.": [College Humor]

We finally found some Ghostbusters hotter than Bill Murray: [The Chive]

Gladstone claims it's a snake with a leg. Seanbaby maintains that it just has a mutated dick. Brockway wants to get it drunk: [The Sun]
Thanks to RuneJoker in the Mirth Canal.

10 Craziest Baseball Rules from the Past: [Jock and Balls]

Jay Leno mocks children for not reading, messes up plot to Hamlet: [Huffington Post]

We thought we were going to be seeing actual whale tails. Still, we weren't disappointed: [coed]

11 Real Names of Rappers: [11Points]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: This tree ain't nobody's property.
Submitted by DNASnatcher in the Mirth Canal.

09.15.2009

Surfing dogs. Fucking gnarly, bro: [Asylum]

A site for zombie lovers everywhere: [Zombies or Not]

Five secretly awesome things you didn't know Patrick Swayze accomplished in his life: [Ask Men]

A sneak peek at Titan Maximum, the story of five idiots trying to save a moon of Saturn: [Adult Swim]

Awesome and up close pictures of tornadoes:[Fark]

10 Most Ridiculous Romance Novel Titles: [Whip It Out]

15 Awesome Old School Photos of Ah-nold: [Uncoached]

"Th- That's not a bear." "Just roll with it.": [lemondrop]

5 Ways Wolverine Could've Been Sharper: [Mania]

Yes, DOB, Kanye West is retarded: [YouTube]
Thanks to BondFiction in the Mirth Canal.

One man Michael Jackson cover, a capella: [College Humor]

Where retarded tweets go to die: [Twaxed]
Thanks to Tyrone via email.

Swaim kept saying he had evidence that being an elk would rule. We never thought he'd be right: [I Am Bored]

18 Photos of the weirdest competition on Earth: [The Chive]

11 Hidden Secrets in Fight Club: [11Points]

21 Failed Twitter Hashtags: [Geekpad Show]

10 Best Athletes Who Are Bad: [Liquid Generation]

Don't barf, don't barf, don't ba- Holy shit!: [College Humor]

Marshmallow Torture: [Vimeo]
Thanks to Ripper in the Mirth Canal.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Need a good book about bagpipes? Look no further, friends.
Submitted by nchammer326 in the Mirth Canal.

09.11.2009

Is it a goth? An emo? A terrible Halloween costume? Or is it...a ZOMBIE?: [Zombies or Not]

11 Best Tranny Moments in Entertainment: [11Points]

11 Greatest Superhero Bromances: [Comics Alliance]

A review of the sexercise ball! By an actual woman! (NSFW): [lemondrop]

Adult Swim serves Hitler a fresh dish of hatin': [Adult Swim]

10 Incredibly Nasty NASCAR Crashes: [Uncoached]

Megan Fox says she won't appear in any nude scenes or sex tapes. We can all stop caring about her now: [Asylum]

6 Truly True Blood Moments from Season 2: [Mania]

Of all the things South Africa doesn't get right, we figured broadband Internet wouldn't be on that list: [BBC]
Thanks to ralf23 in the Mirth Canal.

How Joe Wilson interacts with young interns: [Unpolitical Mag]

If this doesn't tug at your heartstrings it's probably because you don't have a heart: [College Humor]

Apparently someone in D.C. forgot to check their calendar today:[Fark]

We've never heard of Humping Guy before, but we like his style: [Humping Guy 2: College Freshmen]
Thanks to Maria via email.

10 People Who Made it Cool to be Drunk: [Big Stupid Idiot]

Is Nick McDonell the next Hunter S. Thompson?: [Ask Men]

The greatest keytar player ever: [I Am Bored]

10 Jolliest Chick Bullriders: [Liquid Generation]

You know what? We'll pass on that birthday invite: [College Humor]

Can Dokken defeat this chicken breast?: [YouTube]
Thanks to Disco Stu in the Mirth Canal.

Great, just what the world needs: another Internet meme: [Huffington Post]

7 Shattered Objects That Shouldn't Be: [The Chive]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: In case you ever need to look up a catgirl, now you know where to go.
Submitted by TheAlmightyCoxy in the Mirth Canal.

09.08.2009

Conan O'Brien: demolition expert: [Huffington Post]

Pole dancing dolls and cussing cats: [Asylum]

Australians have huge toilets, apparently:[Fark]

We'd let her kick our ass any day of the week: [lemondrop]

Fantasy Telemarketer is cold-calling your name: [Adult Swim]

Will Draw Anything for $2: [WDA]
Thanks to Vermillion in the Mirth Canal.

Marvel's New Fall Line-Up: [College Humor]

20 Awesome Divorce Cakes: [The Chive]

"Those elk won't get out of the street." "K, we'll talk to them... hey guys, you mind moving?" "Fuck you, copper!": [11Points]

Where to go if you need the scoop on the bathroom you're about to use. Is there an app for this?: [Ask Men]

A Tribute to Hot Girls Draped on Cars: [Uncoached]

The Former Careers of UFC Fighters: [coed]

5 Characters that Embody the Spirit of Labor Day: [Mania]

Just a few reasons we avoid Wal-Mart: [People of Wal-Mart]
Thanks to Jes via email.

"I bet you can't do a life-sized Harley." "Done." "Son of a-": [I Am Bored]

Looks like someone needs LifeCall: [Liquid Generation]

15 Awful Obama Tattoos: [Veto Corleone]

We're still debating if this is better than Toto's version: ["Africa" A Capella]
Thanks to VoodooTissue in the Mirth Canal.

That Jennifer Vaughn is one piece of ass. We know from experience, dude. If you know what we mean: [Gorillamask]

We're thinking anyone who has a set will avoid this place: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Did Hungary compete in the '88 Winter Olympics?
Submitted by Quagmar in the Mirth Canal.

09.04.2009

Stoned cats listening to music: [The Chive]

Megan Fox lesbian kiss and Captain EO returns: [Asylum]

A few reasons why you should be watching the U.S. Open: [coed]

The best Adult Swim on-air promos: [Adult Swim]

Cute picture? Or undeniable proof of pedophile pandas: [College Humor]

11 Worst Movie Posters From the 80s: [11Points]

10 Awesome Holes-in-One: [Uncoached]

Item #332 that rednecks can blame on Obama: a shortage in demolition derby cars:[Fark]

A new way for women to make money in this hard economic climate: [lemondrop]

Beavis and Butthead return to review Extract: [Huffington Post]

Can't keep track of all the awesome stuff you don't want to miss this Fall? Don't worry, Ask Men has your back: [Ask Men]

Ben and Jerry's gay marriage themed ice cream contains chocolate covered pretzels. We did not make that up: [Ben and Jerry]
Thanks to FlyingSquid in the Mirth Canal.

Some pics to get you in the mood for Halloween: [I Am Bored]

Colleen Carrera shows us how to wear an eyepatch: [Gorillamask]

We're still trying to decide which one is hotter: [Liquid Generation]

10 Bizarre Cigarette Ads: [Retro Comedy]

An interesting way to support healthcare reform: [The Associated Press]
Thanks to reckless abrandon in the Mirth Canal.

A look back on this summer's movies: [Mania]

A new, deadly way to put on a rubber: [College Humor]

The 10 Hottest Hip-Hop Wives: [Street Level]
Thanks to Alex via email.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: When Kobe Bryant said he learned his crossover from God, he wasn't kidding.
Submitted by Optimus Pimp in the Mirth Canal.

09.01.2009

Some of the best Mr. T pictures ever: [Uncoached]

The 10 Best Family Guy Back-2-School Clips: [Adult Swim]

Tetris can alter the structure of your brain... but only after it gets the long, straight piece:[Fark]

This fat kid loves bacon. Go figure: [College Humor]

How Intimate is Too Intimate?: [lemondrop]

Some horror sequels that weren't all that terrible: [Rotten Tomatoes]

10 Catastrophic Ways Men Have Tried to Look Pretty: [Ask Men]

Disney buys Marvel and plans for Rambo 5: [Asylum]

Samurai on the Toilet: [by. Takeshi Kitano]
Thanks to PJ via email.

Glenn Beck reinforces our belief that Mormons are dirty, filthy perverts: [YouTube]
Thanks to skatfree in the Mirth Canal.

The most ridiculous fight scene ever: [I Am Bored]

The battle of the Jens versus the Angies: [Liquid Generation]

Reason #124 why we won't have children: [Huffington Post]

We're not sure if Mindi Smith really knows how to wash a car. We also don't care: [Gorillamask]

10 Songs That Will Prepare You for a Robot Uprising: [Funk Jelly]

The most terrifying banana ever: [YouTube]
Thanks to plustax in the Mirth Canal.

24 photos of people on roller coasters: [The Chive]

The 13 Sexiest Superhero Costumes: [Mania]

11 Terrible Translations for Nintendo: [11Points]

A Cracked intern: [College Humor]

101 Ridiculously Hot Redheads: [coed]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A list of people who married their cousins.
Submitted by Dan the Great in the Mirth Canal.