Modern sports stadiums basically double as shopping malls or luxury resorts. They are marvels of modern design that sometimes make the game being played within their confines seem like the least interesting thing you could be doing while you're there. Designing a stadium is an art, though, and the simplest mistakes can lead to absolute chaos for teams on the field. Mistakes like ...
#3. The Metrodome's White Plastic Bag Roof
A lightweight roof that's held up using a stream of air blowing from inside is a fine idea, provided your stadium isn't built in a place where large amounts of snow are known to accumulate. Minneapolis is not that place. But they do indeed have such a roof -- you might remember it from those videos of it collapsing like so many Minnesota Vikings seasons before it a couple of years back.
When the roof wasn't crashing down from the sky, it could be counted on to hide the things that were. Like baseballs, for example, which were next to impossible to spot on account of that flimsy roof being as white as the snow that so regularly destroys it.
The Minnesota Twins finally beat a path out of that dump and into a new outdoor stadium (which is a treat in its own right on those cold opening days of April in Minnesota), but the Vikings still call the Metrodome home. No wonder they're thinking about moving to Los Angeles.
"Yeah, maybe the beach would be nice."
#2. Rogers Centre's Sex Rooms
Rogers Centre is the current home of the Toronto Blue Jays. The structure includes a hotel. Some of the rooms in that hotel overlook the field, so you can literally watch a Major League game from your hotel room. It's a fascinating idea that would probably have gone down as one of the best in stadium design history were it not for one major oversight. Just as people in their hotel rooms can see the game outside, people at the game can see inside the hotel rooms. Read that again if you need to. They can see inside the hotel rooms. We all know what happens in hotel rooms, and things were no different at Rogers Centre.
This is the tamest photo we could find.
Since the stadium opened, fans have been privy to impromptu amateur porn so frequently that an entire team of people are now employed by the stadium solely to patrol those hotel room windows, ready to leap into action at the first sign of a stray dong or nipple. It's a problem that could be solved pretty easily if only tinted window technology was available in Canada.
#1. Maracana Stadium's Urine Damage
Maracana Stadium is one of the crown jewels of Rio de Janeiro. It hosts Brazil's important soccer matches and is on track to host the World Cup Final in 2014 and the Olympics in 2016. It's also slowly falling apart, because people won't stop pissing on it.
Shaun Botterill / Getty
"Urinals? The world is our urinal."
Fans hoping to not miss a second of that good time soccer "action" have taken to skipping those brutally long stadium bathroom lines and letting it flow on whatever crucial support structure happens to be closest by, a shocking act of hooliganism from the otherwise notoriously timid and well-behaved soccer crowd.
As this has been happening for decades, all that acidic urine has actually corroded the stadium so much that it now has severe structural damage. To make matters worse, fans take losses out on what few bathrooms there are, resulting in them being constantly out of service. The damage itself is so dire that an anti-urine squad has been patrolling the stadium and using force to stop fans from going anywhere they please. Renovations to gear up for the World Cup are attempting to fix these problems, but the words "structural damage by urine" never look good in a real estate report.
Christophe Simon / Getty
"Only one previous owner, but he had a lot of drunk friends."