My award-winning “Learning with Super Mario Brothers” system has helped thousands of children get their plumbing and pizza-making degrees, and is the leading cause of turtle extinction. You’re welcome. Now the power of this educational program can be used to achieve something that was at one time impossible: understanding World of Warcraft.
You might be asking, “How can one video game help explain another?” If you are, please turn to section )*) to kiss my learning program on the ass and butthole. Everyone else, let’s continue.
WoW isn’t like other nerd things. You can theoretically never see Star Wars, but during your everyday life you’ll pick up a basic understanding of what a Chewbacca is. However, if you never played World of Warcraft, listening to someone talk about it sounds like senseless and frightening gibberish. I think it was Kipling who described it as, “To the average man, another speaking on Warcraft sounds not unlike a rapist Chewbacca acting as his own defense attorney.”
That’s why my system utilizes Super Mario Brothers, the universal video game language. For those of you unfamiliar with Mario Brothers, I urge you to leave, as I’m sure the other Communists will soon be wondering why you’re not harvesting the collective’s potatoes.
Section One: Idiots
The first thing you should know is that most people playing World of Warcraft are terrible at video games, especially World of Warcraft. Every Nintendo owner has encountered the following scenario: You hand over the controller to a friend and then watch them clumsily murder Mario with the same bottomless pit until he stops coming back to life. World of Warcraft is an entire society of these people.
In WoW, danger is often preceded by a lengthy warning celebration. For example: You are a HntrPhüc, Beastmaster Hunter, shooting arrows into an ogre. It grunts, “I am throw a rock at you!” A dark shadow marks the area where the rock will fall, and a bar appears under the ogre’s name slowly counting down a spell called, “There is a Fucking Rock Falling On Your Head.” Six seconds later and you are now HntrPhüc, Meat Toothpaste, a stain waiting around to make future archaeologists puke.
In SMB, taking a step in any direction in under six seconds would be considered a minor challenge, if not an insult. To a Warcraft player it’s impossible for two reasons. One, flippers for hands. You can only sit in one place for so long before your DNA starts to think you’re a walrus. Two, most WoW players are away from their computers, stuck at a traffic light because their reflexes don’t work quickly enough to press the gas before it turns red again.
Section Two: Dicks
Maybe kindergarten teachers can still be nice when they’re surrounded by idiots all day, but Warcraft players can’t. They’re dicks. Plus, even though it’s a world of fantastic magic, it still counts as the Internet. Which means that social interaction is limited to typed-out temper tantrums and desperate attempts at bothering people. WoW is like Girls Gone Wild without the tits: idiots and douches taking turns doing anything to get noticed, and no one knows what a condom looks like.
Obviously, my “Learning with SMB” program has received high praise for its comparison system, but I’m not here to talk about how great you are for selecting it. That’s coming up in the next sentence. You’ve made a brave decision, and I’m very proud of you.
Section Three: Dicks and Idiots Working Together
Warcraft is a lot like sex in that you can’t really get anything done unless you have at least five people. But let’s look at the figures: A five-man group in World of Warcraft contains one to five dicks and four to five idiots. Getting a WoW group to do anything together is harder than getting a bag of chickens its SCUBA certification.
Luckily, the people who make the game have these same figures. They know your group has the military precision of drunk toddlers in a dryer, so they designed every boss monster to do only zero to one special thing. Sounds simple, right? Here’s where the problem comes in. Asking a Warcraft player to do up to one thing is a 20 minute process of impossible, and there are five of you.
Say you’re about to go up against the sinister Pandemonius and you tell the group, “Just beat on this boss like normal, but stop punching him when he makes a force field of evil electricity.”
To any Super Mario Brother player, the proper response would be, “No shit? Don’t touch the glowing death field? Because I figured I’d drop my pants and back into one of the punishing tendrils of dark energy, asshole.”
To a Warcraft player, the proper response is a confused suicide against the deadly force field. If cows played World of Warcraft, there would be a pile of them dead against the electric fence.
Cow Store: “Good afternoon, Hank’s Cow Store.”
Farmer: “Yeah, goddamn it! You sold me bum cows! Aren’t they supposed to move when the fence shocks them?”
Cow Store: “Absolutely. They didn’t?”
Farmer: “No! They just leaned on it, and slowly fried themselves to death!”
Cow Store: “That’s very unusu- wait. They haven’t been playing World of Warcraft have they? Because Warcraft cows are fucking tards.”
Section Four: Multiply Section Three By Five
When WoW players get together in large groups, it’s called a raid. Because when you have no motor, people or communication skills, the best thing to do is glue yourself to 24 identical morons. Now that you have 25 mouths screaming different curses and 50 feet running in different directions, you have a perfect simulation of every birth defect and psychological disorder known to science, and are ready for a grand adventure.
Here’s where it gets tricky. When you tell 25 people to go to The Caverns of Time, seven of them don’t know what that is, two of them aren’t playing anymore, one fell asleep in his pizza, two have to drive their kids to therapy, one tells you to shut the fuck up, four are rebooting their computers, one is getting kicked off by his parents, two are lost foreigners who thought this was the train station, one is pressing enter on the same Chuck Norris joke over and over, two of them tell everyone to go to three different places and one is your girlfriend bitching at you about how much this sucks.
Ninety minutes later, when you finally get everyone there, someone will explain that no one should stand in front of the demon lord Kaz’rogal. This simple concept will take 40 minutes to convey, and repeat twice. During this part, you may want to take advantage of my “Learning with Super Mario Brothers” system for Overhauling 6-Cylinder Transmissions.
Then, after your beard has grown in and your marriage has fallen apart, you give the signal to begin the battle! Within moments, 15 people are lying in various states of liquid directly in front of the demon lord Kaz’rogal. As for the other 10 people, hey, they didn’t know you fuckers were starting.
Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.
Section Five: Rewards
Say you did it. Say you all managed to work together and kill a boss. Now you get to split two or three prizes between the 25 of you. This means that you now get to add jealousy, greed and entitlement to a group dynamic built entirely around impatience, disrespect and retarded.
All that and you get nothing? To put that in Super Mario Brothers terms, it’s like fighting with your little sister over the TV for three episodes of Duck Tales. Then you clear the first stage while she flails her hands in front of the screen and the game rewards you with, “Game Over. Your little sister earns 200 points. Would you like to RESTART GAME or QUIT?”
Section Six: Victory?
In Super Mario Brothers, you play the part of a brick-breaking plumber working a kidnapping case. I don’t want to spoil the finale, but it pays off. WoW doesn’t really have that. Warcraft has an ending like a fat burglar finishes dinner in a Twinkie factory. He’s kind of only done until he has the energy to open his mouth again. And speaking of, for those of you hoping to look back on your day with a real sense of accomplishment… I’d go into Twinkie burglaring before World of Warcraft. Your adult-onset diabetes might not have as big a stamina bonus as your Bloodstained Elven Battlevest, but at least it’s real.
Thanks for learning with me and the Super Mario Brothers. You did great!
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 16th, 2009 at 5:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
If Wonder Woman Comics Were More Honest (And Awesome)
2009 Literary Sex Off! 5 Baffling Perspectives on Boning
7 Great Occupations for Horribly Stupid People
If Aquaman Comics Knew How Much Aquaman Sucks
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
November 13th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I don’t think a lot of people get the point of this article, but I’d like to take a moment to express what it means to me. /me puts on some progressive ambient music, possibly with wind chimes.
After playing a couple mmo’s, I founnd nearly everything Seanbaby touched on in this article pretty accurate, albeit over the top. Can’t really fault that since it’s Cracked.com, though. I’m sure that even the hardcore players that flamed it felt the ring of truth somewhere deep inside their collective hateful hearts. C’mon, guys. It’s just an article, and it’s just WoW. Please, for the sake of the children. Grow up and stop taking things so seriously.
Also, ZOMG SE@NB@BY U R0XXXX!!11!!!2
November 9th, 2009 at 1:06 am
Wish I could find comedy gold like this anymore. So fucking funny.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:05 am
PianoTrade…
Hello
I bookmarked this site. Thanks heaps for this!… if anyone else has anything, it would be much appreciated. Great website Super Pianoforte Links http://www.en.Grand-Pianos.org Enjoy!…
November 7th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
HAHA! u have done it again! man u are the best cracked writer there is! ever has been, or ever will be! all your articals put me in stitches!
November 5th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Seanbaby…. Is there a way to get a collectors set of the “Learning with Super Mario Brothers”
I teach a class of mentally challenged epileptic walruses and albino kindergarten kids with FFI. I think that these resources would be invaluable.
November 2nd, 2009 at 4:47 am
Herbalism leveling guide and joanas leveling guide 80 check my tips…
Matt said on 27 June 2006 at 2: 59 am Stuart Johnston said on 27 June 2006 at 12: 14 pm scriptalicio. us» Blog Archive» Automatic migration from Typo to WordPress said on 28 June 2006 at 10: 38 pm Daryl said on 6 July 2006 at 9: 19 am Stuart Johnston…
November 1st, 2009 at 12:48 am
Those dragon heads are from Mega Man 2.
Stupid.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I find it difficult to believe that seanbaby has in all of his time never made fun of someone who has watched TV for more than 6 hours per day.
Also, he clearly knows about the game quite a bit - perhaps has even played it.
People get your last point, but this is a comedy article. I don’t think studying well goes nicely into one.
October 25th, 2009 at 5:59 am
I want to make an account to play WoW, and I liked this article very much, but I think you, Seanbaby just want to revenge to this game for somewhat. It’s hilarious, there are hundreds thousand of people who watchs TV more than 6 hours per day, but you, criticist don’t say anything about them, you just believe stereotips, even if you don’t know anything about this game
btw I study well, sleep well, make sports and have friends, it’s just a game all the rest depends upon a man
P.S. sorry for my english, i’m from russia
October 24th, 2009 at 10:27 am
The self-affirmation that slamming WoW as a nerd magnet gives must be tremendous for the folks who actually come to a post making a satire of it. I mean, this must be the staple of you having a life: spending a part of your life saying WoW folks don’t have one.
…though it’s sometimes right.
Sometimes.
I’ve found that a lot of people I know in WoW have perfectly good jobs for their age (adults got their careers, us kids got our part-times), have the kind of personality you’d be fine with meeting on the street (and here’s the shocker: you WOULD meet them on the street, they get out), and generally have a life. Playing the nerd card on WoW just doesn’t work—it’s no secret that it’s one of the most ridiculously casual mainstream MMOs out there, and it’s going even further down that road with every major step Blizzard takes. It’s an everyman’s online game at this point, and while there are inevitably hardcores in the mix, the shut-in stereotype is applying less and less. Most of the folks who shun other folks for playing WoW are bloody ignorant.
It’d be funny if it wasn’t such a defect.
Did I get off topic from the post? Yeah. I loved this to death because, being an everyman’s online game, it’s FULL of unsung retards.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:13 am
omfg! Hilarious. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I play WoW and have been for over 4 years but still, those dicks and tards are everywhere. I happen to be the anomaly, not only do I A) know how to play my character, but B) I’m also a rl girl with boobs and C) I’m not a fuglie. lmao. Man this shit is funny!
October 11th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I’m kind of offended, but this does have a ring of truth. XD There are WAY more idiots on WoW than not, unfortunately. I used to enjoy playing.
I don’t even play anymore, and probably won’t start playing again until they put up a server that requires one to take an IQ test and have a level higher than one’s age to enter.
October 10th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
“Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.”
I laughed so hard that my dad came over to see what was wrong haha. Well done, Seanbaby
October 9th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Glad to see seanbaby still writing, certainly one of the best analogists (hehe anal) i’ve ever read since I started on old man murray. Now I just gotta find what he plays in wow.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Seanbaby! Will you marry me? I’m totally willing to be your guinea pig for the future “Understanding Marriage Using Super Mario Bros” aka “Learn to Lay Pipe Like A Professional.” Superbly awesome article…I laughed so hard I accidentally orgasmed. Now I need a cigarette.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Haha, they forgot people who dont know how to turn caps lock off.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
i played WoW for only a month or so and there are such dicks everywhere. mainly when i was an alliance noob and all these high lvl horde guys raided our towns and killed all the NPCs. we were forced to hide out in the forests until they left
September 30th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
i slightly resent this as i play yet am still a sane/rational non dickish bastard but i know people like that sooo yes somewhat true
September 27th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Hahaha, I play WoW.
September 25th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
When you tell 25 people to go to The Caverns of Time, seven of them don’t know what that is, two of them aren’t playing anymore, one fell asleep in his pizza, two have to drive their kids to therapy, one tells you to shut the fuck up, four are rebooting their computers, one is getting kicked off by his parents, two are lost foreigners who thought this was the train station, one is pressing enter on the same Chuck Norris joke over and over, two of them tell everyone to go to three different places and one is your girlfriend bitching at you about how much this sucks.
funniest part lol
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Incredible!
I mean incredible article, and incredible cry baby dipshits whining about it, and incredible people making fun of said dip shits!
Bravo!
September 21st, 2009 at 7:41 am
Vau… why?
Those are the saddest ones of all!
Oh, heh, I guess that WOULD be funny.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:12 am
Some of these are spot on, but there are those without lives outside of WoW who simply dominate the game. You should do an article about the hardcore WoW community.
September 17th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Ragtatter: “lol, great article. You forgot to mention the asshole who yells “NINJA” whenever he doesn’t win the shiny toy that the boss just dropped, the guy who constantly brags about how awesome his other characters are, and the one who announces his DPS every three seconds.”
Don’t forget the tool who not only announces his own DPS every three seconds, he barfs up a DPS meter’s result in /raid so that EVERYONE’S DPS is shown every three seconds.
September 17th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Jack: “Warcraft is a lot like sex in that you can’t really get anything done unless you have at least five people.”
you’ve clearly never had sex”
And you’ve clearly never heard a joke.
September 17th, 2009 at 12:45 am
[...] Posted by Vepo Sounds like a WoW kiddies that can’t use addons Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com Enjoy the reading my good man if you have not seen it already. My favorite quote: [...]
September 14th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
wow player - gj sean - lmao
reading through the comments, some of you need to look up hyperbole and satire - if your self worth is subject to some internet trolling about a video game you like to play…sigh…
as far as the smb fanboys *cough* nodnarb *cough* in the comments - might I suggest looking up irony when taking umbrage over disparging remarks made about a video game in the comments section of an article making disparging remarks about a video game…
and to the officious folks who’d like to persuade the wow folks to a more noble and self fulfilling existence…isn’t living in freedom great? you get to proselytize and we get to tell you to go fuck yourself
September 14th, 2009 at 7:54 am
Some people prefer WoW, some people prefer dirt bikes. I prefer dirt bikes. I’ll promise to try WoW if you guys promise to try riding a dirt bike. Deal?
September 12th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I like how people are stating they are casual gamers, its a fucking casual game. I mean that to a tee.
I don’t really understand why people garner that because they play a casual game, at a casual rate, that they have a life still.
Working doesn’t mean you have a life, it just means you are still alive, which by most/all accounts isn’t the same.
Its like playing a flash game, little work for massive (read: no) reward.
And yeah, I played wow, and realized it was a bit way too casual for anyone who wants to put more than 1hour/week. into a game to have fun (because some of us have more than 1 spare hour to have fun)
September 11th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Rofl, you felt my pain. Many of these are so true. Anyhow, you must have played on a really bad server.
I’ve been playing for 4 years, and yet I got a college degree, am having a job, playing 2 sports, and have time to hang out with my real life friends from time to time. In game, I have 3 epic 80’s. Did I mention I’m a casual player and have a family to take care of?
From my experience, many (4 out of 5) are nice people who are adults, have real jobs, real families, and only play on their truly spare time over the weekend. Several are even military men/women, who imo are doing a more REAL job than yours or mine. And if you don’t want to see idiots and dicks, simply don’t play/group/raid with idiots and dicks.
If saying playing wow or any other computer game is easy and boring as sitting for hours and pushing 1,2,3 buttons; well, so does XBOX and PSP (I’ll leave Wii out of the list). Telling me it’s boring if you have rolled a healer or a tank, had a good arena rating, beaten Ulduar bosses in hard mode, or just run a timed CoS with 3 random people and 9 minutes spare at the end, then I’ll agree that the game isn’t worth it.
Anyway, wow is a game after all, it’s supposed to be played casually, not 24/7. As like food, if you don’t want to get sick of it, don’t eat too much.
Btw, good points on #5 and #6.
September 9th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Lmao, I laughed so hard, best cracked article EVER
September 8th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
lol, great article. You forgot to mention the asshole who yells “NINJA” whenever he doesn’t win the shiny toy that the boss just dropped, the guy who constantly brags about how awesome his other characters are, and the one who announces his DPS every three seconds.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Thank you, all these years I’ve wondered what all the talk, references and even magazines are all about. Now I know, and can return back to my schedule.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
[...] never read it you will die laughing (if you’ve played WoW and share my sense of humor that is). Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com I laughed once when he was talking about the raid group having every physical and mental [...]
September 4th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Very good article, the only thing I can see at fault with it is that super mario, in fact ALL mario games are quite possibly the easiest games in existence, and produce more antisocial douchebags than WoW does in my experience.
This being said, I did kill a Death Knight’s mob before he got there with my ranged weapon earlier and he whispered me saying: “i hope u die irl” and then promptly ignored me.
But hey whatever. Good article.
September 4th, 2009 at 7:45 am
fucking genius
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:49 pm
With a name like “lolumad” (a famous ‘inane flame’ for trolls and idiots) you can be certain that this article was about people like him/her and it hit a nerve.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
This is incredibly accurate. I’ve been in raids with some of the most insanely retarded people on the face of the internet. The foreigners in my guild were surprisingly much more adept than the 30 year olds, somehow.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 pm
So pushing a few random buttons and controlling a toon is considered a skill set?
Is that like being a really good chess player?
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Some of you people simply confound me. No shit it’s a little “over the top” with some of the descriptions. Did you ever stop to think maybe, just MAYBE that was the point?
I’m pretty sure this article was not written to be an accurate guide to understanding WoW (and yes, I play WoW too, and yes, I’m in a high end raiding guild too), it was written to be funny and entertaining lending a very amusing and albeit exagerated generalization to the majority of the player base of World of Warcraft.
Now, if some of this you just flat out didn’t find funny I can’t help you (though I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s because you are one of the people described in this article).
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:16 am
I play WoW. I’m a raider in a high level guild. A lot of this article made me laugh because a lot of it is true. However, a lot of this article went waaaaaay overboard (even though it was funny) and just sounds like an all out QQ fest because the author is a tard and isn’t entirely sure how to play the game himself.
It is true there is a lot, and I mean a lot, of failures in the game and but if you actually play the game longer than a few hours you will begin to meet and group together with players at higher skill levels and attention spans.
There are plenty of groups and guilds that exclude certain age groups because of the drama and constant AFKing that goes on (yes, you can ignore and choose not to play with people that are described in this article). As for questing a solo play out and around the world of warcraft you may play this however you like which makes the game fun (fly around until your eyes bleed, gank horde, do daily quest to earn uber gold, find and kill rare mobs and the latest creation: complete achievements!!! There is so much to do in this game to entertain oneself).
Don’t hate the game, hate the players!
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I played WoW for about 9 months, untill I finally got bored. But it wasn’t the people (I played in a pirate server with few people), it was the gameplay. WoW fights are incredibly slow and require almost no skill; all you do is sit and press some buttons.
An example is that in WoW you might just need to press a couple of buttons during a battle. I thought of a comparison with the game [PROTOTYPE] (a lot of skill differences, I know). In Prototype, you might begin attacking a tank and a helicopter like this: You press shift to run, hold space bar, release it, hold R and change to “musclemass power”, target the tank and press click to attack from the air. If you don’t destroy the tank, you might have to press R and switch to “sword power”, then perform a combo. Then you hold jump again, switch back to “musclemass” and kick a helicopter.
In WoW you get close to an enemy and press 2,3,5,7 and other buttons.
Next are the quests, which are pretty much the same: kill something of get something. I think that about 97% of WoW’s quests are based on this. And it gets boring after some time.
WoW is an slow, monotonous and almost skill-less game, and few times it is a challenge.
On your article, it is hilarious, it is the best WoW article I’ve ever read. I don’t know much about the people in retail WoW, but this gave me an idea.
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:56 am
GOD DAMN, YOU FUNNY MAN!!
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 am
Many gamers are just people who got beat up or put down in school so they find annoyingly creative ways of ruining fun things for others.
September 1st, 2009 at 2:12 pm
“Warcraft is a lot like sex in that you can’t really get anything done unless you have at least five people.”
you’ve clearly never had sex
September 1st, 2009 at 12:57 pm
This article wasn’t funny, regardless if you like WoW or not. Your sense of humor must be that of a two year old.
September 1st, 2009 at 7:37 am
I used to play WOW for about a year and a 1/2 before I finally got bored and fed up with it and this article made me laugh so hard I think I pooped a little. Everything in this article is absolutely true. BRAVO!!!!
August 31st, 2009 at 9:02 am
get a life mopes
August 30th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
I play WoW every day (I have no job, I have no children, I am overweight, I am the epitome of WoW-playing. Let the trolling begin.) and I laughed my ass off the whole way through this article. You hit most of it spot-on. You did forget to mention the “Guild/Raid Leader who can’t Lead” (”C’mon guys, this is srs biznis! Who dropped the damn train set again??”) and the “Person who Knows way more about WoW than You’ll Ever Know and Won’t Ever let Anyone Forget it” (”Why are you wearing something with +haste? You’re a healer. Everyone knows healers don’t need haste”).
August 30th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Successful Troll is successful.
August 29th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
What Shadowcran said. I love WoW but god damnit the people on it suck.
August 29th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
If anyone has a problem with this article, it’s time to buy a sense of humour.
August 29th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
The main problem that wow players have with this article is that it’s too close to the truth. Look, if played with 3 or 4 friends you can trust or by yourself, Wow can be fun. Albeit if you’ve played a lot of regular RPG’s before this you’ll realize it’s a tad on the easy side except for building up your character. Ever go to a world and there’s 4 people per creature on it? This doesn’t happen in single player RPG’s. There you’re free to kill millions of (insert creature here) and nobody will try to steal the kill or type nonsensical stuff in an effort to piss you off for no reason.
Unless you’re living in denial, you know that the bad players seem to multiply at the rate of 20 a minute. There are many types of these:
1) Kid trying to act like an adult with no adult role model to show them how- This person thinks adults make jokes about penises and vaginas every 2 minutes while drinking vodka off a hooker’s stomach while snorting coke off her behind. They have no idea.
2) Person that has only played WoW and no other video games. They haven’t a clue, not one. These often die on the first goblin which makes them heads up better than the rest of the retards as they’re out of your misery fast
3) MR know it all- this person has played every aspect of WoW but doesn’t have one clue how to convey this knowledge without demeaning the student. These are often the saddest of cases when the student realizes the teacher is probably glued to their chair and has zero life.
4) MS look at me- doesn’t know what armor increases what stats, this person will wear a cocktail dress to a cock fight. If a color is loud, they’re the first in line. These could be talked easily into giving up GOD armor for a +1 scarf.
5) Village idiot clan leader- This person has very limited WoW knowledge but feels if they form a clan, their incompetence will be covered by clan members expertise. Spelling is anathema to these people and those that can spell would be hunted down and strangled if they ruled the world.
6) Beggar. Truly the most pathetic person in creation. This person begs for free pixelized stuff that ANYONE can go get themselves. “Gimme Fee Stuf, Plox” is their fight song. Smart MMO’s will ban this activity. I can’t possibly imagine what can go through a person’s head to want to escape to a fantasy world and be a lowlife.
There’s many more but I’ve already typed too much.
August 29th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Disregard that i suck cocks.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
This sounds like it is coming from a guy that isn’t really good at playing wow. No need to take it out on everyone else dude. Someone get this guy a pacifier… WAAAAAHHHH!
August 27th, 2009 at 6:55 am
I play WoW, and a lot of the stuff in here made me smile, but I think it kinda went a bit over the top. To put it in perspective, the article has said far more offensive things about me than any of the jerks or dicks in the game (and yes, there are lots of them, but there are a lot more decent people than assholes) ever have.
There’s plenty of fun to be poked at the WoW community without needing to insult entirety of it, and this article could have been as funny if not funnier with a bit less jerkassery.
August 27th, 2009 at 4:14 am
[...] Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com This. [...]
August 27th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Oh, and i cant believe you have the Tier 11 frog suit. I’ve been after that for 5 years.
August 27th, 2009 at 12:46 am
So ya, this is pretty funny
However on many of these sections, mostly section 2, it seems you are 100% anti wow. Sure there are people who make fun of new players, but there are 2340932 times as many players that are willing to help. If you need help on a quest, just ask. Somebody will tell you. If you need help on a quest, ask. Somebody will help you if they are on that quest.
August 26th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
TBH you sound like a combination of the idiots/ jerks you speak of : /
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LC1rCp9hE
Take into account the whole game and player base instead of just judging off your experience in a 5 man at level 16.
I realize this is a joke but in came off pretty harsh to me for some reason :p.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I’ve played my share of WoW and every bit of that article is true and hilarious. Especially the bit about trying to get everyone to do one thing in a big group.
“Everyone meet up here!”
“Where?”
“No, here!”
“Sorry, I’m back, where is everyone?”
“I HAVE TO GO IN TEN MINUTES.”
“This raid takes an hour!”
“YA SO HURRY PLZ.”
Arrggghh!
August 25th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Man, i play wow and this just made me laugh my ass off, its funny, and sadly true with the negitive sides,
i have played with many people, which i have to say, that i will NEVER want to play with them again as they are utter dicks/retards.
But on the plus side, you meet lots of cool people =p and then you get to have fun when you meet other’s who actually can listen or know what to do.
August 25th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Oh my God!
All of you people, on both sides of this flamey-debate are taking the article waaaay too seriously.
WoW fanatics, I know that you can’t laugh at yourself for fun. As Seanbaby explained, you’re all either idiots or dicks. But, for shit’s sake… are you telling me that you don’t agree with every negative thing he said about the game? If so, then your angsty hatred every time you play occurs for no reason. Are you just made this way?
WoW bashers, Seanbaby was not trying to honestly develop learning software based on Super Mario Brothers. This isn’t real. He is being funny for the sake of funny-ness. He wasn’t attempting to make a level-headed and well-reasoned argument for why people shouldn’t play WoW. He is not the champion of your little ten-minute old anti-WoW crusade. Laugh it up and move on.
August 24th, 2009 at 9:08 am
[...] Actually people who played mario will be better off then those from WoW. Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com [...]
August 24th, 2009 at 1:40 am
I have played both WoW and SMB seriously in a previous life, to a point where my debit card went into a 70 dollar overdraft and I began to ignore phone calls since letting go of my DS would potentially turn me into Goomba feed. Seanbaby, your points are valid and I wholeheartedly agree, WoW is infested with the degenerate nerds of society, some of which I am associated with, and it causes nothing but intangible stress. Now, I have a thorough understanding of Chuck Norris jokes and can whip them out at any given moment at any given bar, solely on the prospects of a free drink. I hate Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is an filthy soul-less ginger that caucasians on the Barrens server worship, simply because Chuck Norris was a texas ranger and had an inept and basic knowledge of Kung-Fu. At least with SMB, I didn’t have to suffer through inane comments from lethargic dweebs drinking game-fuel while immersing themselves in a parallel dimension.
I hate myself for going through with WoW. Someone, please, give me brain damage.
August 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
I don’t know what’s funnier. Honestly.
The people that jump up and try to defend WoW, or the people who jump up and proceed to bash WoWers.
World of Warcraft isn’t the first game to do this. Before WoW, was Ever Quest. And before that, who knows? Something though.
The fact is, a lot of the people who are saying “All WoWers are no-life losers” are nearly as bad as those who are indeed no-life losers that sit in their parent’s basement playing WoW all day. Stereotypes is a powerful, mind bending force that once it enters your head, it’s very, very hard to get out.
Not that the people defending WoW zealously make it any easier though.
But the fact is, there are losers everywhere. Especially on the internet. Look hard enough, and between the lines; you’ll see them.
This is still the best thing I’ve read in a long while, btw.
P.S. It’s obvious what the people who defend WoW are trying to cover up. But what are the people attacking WoW trying to cover up for? Makes me wonder…
August 22nd, 2009 at 3:40 pm
These comments are at least half as entertaining as the article. I guess you have to understand that for many people, wow is way more important than life, but watching them defend their useless soul-consuming game is pretty entertaining. I’ve done absolutely nothing productive today, but people like this really make me feel like a valuable productive member of society, which is pretty impressive (and sad).
I also almost pissed myself laughing at the “teaching your son to play baseball” comment. Funny shit. Keep writing!
August 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 am
I looked down at the comments, many of which were saying that the writer of this is probably a bitter WoW player or perhaps one of the individuals he was describing. That seems a bit unrealistic at best. Realize that no one will ever admit to themselves that they are terrible at the game, so chances are many people are reading this link provided by someone in a guild/WoW related message board. Only to say, “LOL I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT” As they proceed to stand in the fire on any one of a hundred encounters where you are not supposed to do that.
Denial. It’s extremely powerful.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:27 pm
“it’s like teaching ur kid to how to play baseball, and he ends up trying to sell blowjobs to undercover cops”
oh man this is so funny!
August 21st, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Excellent post, the cake is not a lie.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:16 am
Oh and my guess is the creator of this played WoW but was 1 of the retards he was making this for so quit and made this in anger to get back at warcraft players! hehe just saying ^^
August 21st, 2009 at 11:13 am
There ARE alot of reatrds on warcraft who have no idea what they are doing, but most are normal people who arent addicted and play as a hobby, as i do. i play about 2 hours a day, and before you say ‘omg 2 hours?? wtf man?’ think how many hours an average person watches television a day? i watch no television. NOT ALL WOW PLAYERS ARE NO LIFE RETARDS! i bump into alot of no-lifes on wow, but i just ignore them and carry on playing! oh btw that PUG section was totaly true ^^ lol
August 20th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
@Dan
Yes I think Seanbaby wrote for either Game Informer or EGM and it was reviews of weird shitty games.
August 20th, 2009 at 8:53 am
true, and hilarious. love your work.
did you by any chance write for a video game magazine a few years back? where you reviewed the really shitty games nobody played? “seanbaby’s rest of the crap”, i think it was called. haha small world.
August 20th, 2009 at 3:26 am
I admittedly play WoW; The first time I played was when it first came out in 2004 where I got a Human Warrior to level 60 and quit because I couldn’t find a coherent group to raid with.
When I turned 21 (I was single, mind you), my best friend bought me the Battle Chest which had the actual game and Burning Crusade in it. I started playing on 10/30/08, and got my Paladin to 76 right after Valentine’s Day.
I moved out of my mom’s house, got my own home, still have a job, and working on my bachelor’s degree. I also got Internet back after 3 months of not having it, got back on WoW, found a decent guild of all local people (no fucktards amazingly), raid constantly, and found a nice girl, and hopefully things will go well with her.
Don’t say “quit WoW and she’ll be with you forever”; She plays more WoW than I do.
Seanbaby this was the most amazing article I have ever read about anything having to do with WoW at all. I sent this article over a month ago to all of my friends who play WoW and I think I was the only one who laughed at it.
August 19th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
the sad thing is, this isn’t even an exaggeration. i don’t think there are people on wow that don’t fit into the retarded / dick category.
August 19th, 2009 at 6:46 am
You know what I play WoW and I go on raids and I win at everything. I am well built and have a strong masculine figure. I have a handle bar moustache and a deep demanding voice. I don’t know what exactly that is between my legs but guess what, I also have tits. Did I just blow your mind?
August 19th, 2009 at 3:13 am
LOLOLOL, I love WoW, but this is just..funny! Effort!
August 16th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Absolutely hilarious…and pretty much true. Especially with the release of the latest expansion, the game is perfectly described by this article (hence, why I left).
August 16th, 2009 at 8:35 am
Played WoW for about 4 years, this was funny as hell
August 16th, 2009 at 2:26 am
@ Dan:
Except for the fact that you pumped hundreds of hours of time getting to a high enough level to even start raiding. WoW is pretty much a game that you cannot play without consuming your life, because if you don’t spend every waking minute playing it, you don’t really get anywhere. I ended up quitting at Lvl 61 because I was tired of doing the same repetitive shit for hours on end to get a little bit closer to some end-game play that might actually be decent.
August 16th, 2009 at 1:05 am
[...] att läst denna humoristiska artikel och dessutom läst kommentarerna till den samma så har jag börjat förstå varför folk blir [...]
August 15th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Ha, first of all, hilarious article. Second of all, OMG the comments are ridiculous, they are like 1/2 “That was funny”, 1/8 “RAWR, UR GAY, WOW IS AWESOME”, and 3/8 “ZOMG WOW SUX UR SO RITE!!! LOLOLOL”
I’ve been playing WoW for quite some time, I raid a lot, but I make up for it by not playing any other time really, I log for raids and then log off ’til next time. It’s not hard to play WoW but not let it consume your life, just takes willpower. Also, I’ve seen all the things you commented on, and yes, they are common, that’s why you find a decent guild (the same shit still happens, but not as often).
Long story short, funny article, you were a bit unfair to WoW at times, but who cares, it’s a game.
August 14th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I have played WoW for more than 3 years now, and I think this is incredibly funny. You have to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
just epic
August 13th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Whats really bad, is i’ve been in raids that have run word for word what this article describes… lol
August 12th, 2009 at 5:18 am
HAH!
August 11th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
[...] Cracked.com offers a tutorial on Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers. [...]
August 11th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
First, awesome article.
Second, I love all the girls in the comments section talking about how good-looking they are, and the guy who claims to have a TOTALLY HAWT fiance. Like anyone gives a shit.
The self-proclaimed “cute” gamer girls are just as banal and idiotic as regular girls, except they think that for some reason they matter because they sit in front of a computer screen all day. Unfortunately, online validation will not make you feel any less pathetic.
August 11th, 2009 at 7:35 am
[...] changes made the game less appealing for those hungering for challenges… Here is a nice example. Understanding the World of Warcraft using Mario Brothers __________________ Whenever you reach the end, look above - there is a new [...]
August 11th, 2009 at 1:51 am
I play WoW, and i’m not offended by this at all.
I think you Seanbaby, are a pure genius, and Itsatrap needs to grow the hell up and learn to not take everything so seriously, (however this article is SO true).
Loved the pictures and the comparisons, and ALL OF IT!
10/10
August 8th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Meat Toothpaste, awesome
August 8th, 2009 at 11:56 am
This is pure win, and an absolute truth!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
That was funny - more in the sad clown funny as I have the misfortune to know many who are how you described. I’m grateful that I got into women and never ever tried wow.
August 7th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Nice man this is so fucking true tho thats the simple beauty of it
August 6th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
To It’sATrap
The gaming industry wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for Super Mario Bros. It’s the best selling game of all time and every game is influenced by it.. Also know that when your account is hacked all your hard work is gone and you have no proof that you even played WoW. Unlike SMB cause you can show people that you can beat it and that you know where every secret is.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
You forgot about people who are stoned or drunk in your raid. This is especially fun when the raid or guild leader always insists on inviting this person on raids.
Yes, I’m still addicted and don’t care. If I really wanted a life I woudn’t go online or watch TV at all. Gnome power!
August 6th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Tried WoW, got tired of being eaten by the same zombie crocodile who waits by my body patiently for my soul to return so he can kick my ass again. Was fun until a group of assholes began to watch as I got pwned by the same muthafukin crocodile. Took me four minutes of playing before I said “Fuck this noise” and went back to CoD4. Am I a bitch for having a game who’s entire player community is a bunch of thirty year old virgins kick my ass? Probably. Do I give a shit? Hellz no.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
This is awesome and is now on my guild’s site.
August 5th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
A lot of people don’t even understand why they’re addicted to the MMO they’re playing. They couldn’t tell you completely with a gun to their heads. They’d mention something about social groups and meeting interesting people, but we all know that’s bull as everyone either pretends to be TOO much into the RPG aspect or is a total dick. The good players tend to be silent and avoid the mobs.
The addiction is complex. You start off with easy quests and feel like king or queen shit once you’ve accomplished them. Now you’re committed to paying that monthly subscription. Once you start paying regular you feel obligated to pay it. It doesn’t matter if you just spent $59 on another computer game, that monthly fee makes you keep playing WoW.
In the meantime, perhaps to see if it’s a cure for boredom, you’ve joined a guild. Now you feel the obligation to do “guild stuff”. These are just as disorganized as your examples Seanbaby. You’ll eventually quit the guild but soon realize you’re dying often as you’ve come to depend on the fellow guild members for support.
Also in the meantime, you become disgusted by the whole thing thanks mostly to 12 year olds and younger who continually make everything suck to their levels. Make a hard quest and watch these losers cry and complain. Make a weapon that’s beyond their pitiful playing skills to obtain and they’ll throw a hissy fit. They then find funny articles showing their ineptitude in all it’s glory and post nonsensical ravings against it.
That’s the equivalent of the morons that have voiced their disagreement here.
August 5th, 2009 at 9:38 am
“This boss is double Goomba.” LOL that’s my favorite part
August 5th, 2009 at 7:13 am
I used to play WoW to the point where I had a 70. Then I stopped. Finally. Basically, it made me fear for the world’s future, but feel better about my future, since competing with all these fucktards in a world where logic and intelligence doesn’t go entirely unnoticed should not, from what I learned, be all that difficult.
August 5th, 2009 at 1:53 am
Just the type of nerd-rage i’d expect to see from a WoW player.
August 5th, 2009 at 1:28 am
I played Warcraft for a little bit o.o well.. more like four days, not cause I got bored but… because I didn’t have all that much time with college and what not. Point being I thought it was retarded until i played (No it wasn’t a hunter.. I think I played like… a warlock or… somethin like that… some dude that casts magic… “spirit fingers!”) and really it’s pretty fun in it’s own right.
Kudos Seanbaby to teaching people the ways of the WoW player ala Super Mario bro’s… a sesame street like way woulda been funny too… it woulda been pretty funny to see “1 lightning bolt.. ah… 2 wind spells, ah ah, 3 sword slashes ah ah ah… etc.”
August 4th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
I usually prefer to keep to myself when playing this game, because it IS fairly difficult to coordinate a group of people to do something within it (usually). It’s true that joining a guild might help with this, but guilds can peter out and fall apart. And it still doesn’t solve the problems of cluelessness and/or having to reboot your comp–it just means you don’t always have to go raiding with total strangers.
August 4th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
you love it seanbaby!
August 4th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I used to play WoW and this post is too true. Most players are either battling semi-comatose states or are just plain uncoordinated with performing actions like pressing a button or two every 10 minutes. Add people TYPING IN CAPS and saying LOL NOOB and you have a grand WoW party.
Thankfully there are certain classes that are designed for these types of people like Hunters and also Hunters. The beauty is that you don’t even have to move to attack people…just keybind every key to ‘random cast’ and roll your face on the keyboard and voila. Another class that can be played for the people who have trouble using the keyboard and mouse simultaneously or even have trouble looking at the screen and breathing at the same time are Hunters.
But great post explaining WoW…really sums up the game exactly
August 4th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
LOL
Even if I am a Warcraft player I found this very funny and amusing, specially cause most of the things you wrote are actually true. Are wow players assholes? Most of the time (and so is almost everybody else in the internet) Do they suck at videogames? Well, I do, I’m fairly good at wow, I specially love shooters, but I’m not very good at them (I just have fun trying lol)
Anyway, I’ve written too much already,
People who are anoyed by this, come one if you dont think it is true then it shouldnt matter to you
Nice one seanbaby (:
August 4th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Highwind Sucks IMO… lol, This commentary is so true about WoW I wonder sometimes in a raid setting or whatnot… am I playing the same game here?
Are some people learning impaired?
What the hell…
I’m done attempting to “correct” people and graft in a “hope” they will become better but what can you do… cant win them all…
Great job at making me laugh and at the same time making a lot of sense… Kudos
August 4th, 2009 at 3:51 am
Lolz! loved this, plenty of laughs, couldn’t agree more.
as for the QQers, your either A) to young to remember when NINTENDO was the top of the line, best gaming system out there.
or
B) need to go play Pong, or SMB, 2 of the best games ever created, and to this day STILL out to EVERY game in existence.
Nothing ever will, or ever has gone above and beyond these 2 legendary games *Pong/SMB* of our time. as a matter of fact EVERY game currently on the market (and some off, being private personally owned/created games) are based off of them.
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I haven’t played WoW, but this is unfair. Not everyone’s an idiot.
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Best WoW analogy ever.
“In Super Mario Brothers, you play the part of a brick-breaking plumber working a kidnapping case. I don’t want to spoil the finale, but it pays off. WoW doesn’t really have that. Warcraft has an ending like a fat burglar finishes dinner in a Twinkie factory. He’s kind of only done until he has the energy to open his mouth again.”
Seanbaby, not to fellate your ego, but goddamn, you are one witty motherfucker.
August 3rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
[...] That said, I hope you aren’t discouraged to click on the link and start giggling uncontrollably. Understanding the World of Warcraft __________________ And I believe that we’ll conceive to make in Hell for us a Heaven: A brave [...]
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:52 am
HOLY SHIT! that was soo funny. especially the “penis” parts
August 3rd, 2009 at 10:24 am
Seanbaby crits fanboys for 12 damage (Crushing) 19,000 damage overkill.
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:19 am
I’ve never laughed this hard on the internet, and I’ve been reading cracked for a long time.
August 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 am
great..
August 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I’ve never laughed this hard on the internet, and I’ve been reading cracked for a long time.
August 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 am
Oh man, I keep coming back to this every couple days to laugh all over again. It’s like a daily quest that rewards Emblems of Hilarity.
August 2nd, 2009 at 3:20 am
How can one not laugh at this? hehe. Its like trying to imagine being back in the worst PuG group ever, and sitting there feeling more like crying than to start over.
Thank you for some brilliant reading!
August 1st, 2009 at 8:02 pm
On a scale 1 tor 10 how much this article made me laugh, it hits critical for 17 xD
just awesome ^^
August 1st, 2009 at 2:42 pm
@ItsATrap
There’s a level of stupidity at work here that’s simply inconceivable.
“1) You pug and wonder why you get the drop kicks of the wow community.”
- At what point does it say he pugged? I’ve been in many a guild in my time on WoW and most, if not all, were filled with people like Seanbaby exposed. I love how morons are pulling these inferences out of their collective ass to throw at Seanbaby and this article. “OMG UZ FAYLED AND U PUGED!!! LOLZ!!!!” You dipshits are proving his article’s point more than his Learning With Super Mario Bros. system EVER could.
“2) Super Mario Brothers is the biggest fail ever created.”
- Go. And. Fucking. Die. You do NOT speak ill of SMB and act like you’re a high and mighty gamer. Period. Ever.
“You probably said on trade how awesome it is and then came to the conclusion everyone on WoW is a dick because they tried to set you straight.”
- I doubt there’d be many people on ANY server that would disagree that SMB is one of the most awesome games of all time. Seriously, how old are you? Five? Maaaaaaaaaybe 7? Would explain why you’re such a fucktard when it comes to games and gamerdom.
“3) Commenting that WoW has no ending is the stupidest thing in this thread so far.. How many MMOs are there which actually have an ending? And then another good idea: I know, let’s compare a (crappy) console game to an MMORPG and then comment that one has an ending and one doesn’t!”
- Game endings carry a sense of accomplishment that says “I finished something!” Whereas in WoW it doesn’t necessarily matter how much high end gear you accumulate, it’ll all be rendered worthless once a higher tier set or new Arena set is released. Especially when it comes to Expansions.
“Wait.. you mean an offline game intended for one (or two) severely retarded children has a happy ending and the other game in a completely different gaming grenre doesn’t? Wow, you’re a FREAKING GENIUS.”
- Someone missed the point by quite a huge margin. Tell me, are you allowed to use a computer when your government appointed handler isn’t around?
“4) You’re pugging a raid and then commenting that it’s disorganised, has stupid people in it and is generally a longgg sloowwwww agonisinggg ordeal? NO SHIT, YOU PUGGED IT.”
- Once again, pulling assumptions out of his ass that have absolutely no basis in any part of the article. Hasn’t it occurred to anyone that there ARE Guild Leaders or other people leading raids that just really, really suck at organization, or is it just me?
“Summing up the above four points, yes, you failed at WoW,”
- Assumption unsupported by evidence provided in article.
“…didn’t get into a good guild,”
- Assumption unsupported by evidence provided in article.
“…were amazed at the difficulty presented in PvE situations such as falling rocks (which give warning so you have no excuse if you get hit by it and die, kind of like a noob-filter)”
- Oh…my….fucking….god. Did you even READ the goddamned article? or did you just look at the title, a couple pictures, a few other comments, and decide to combine every other moron’s comment involving all of the mentioned points together in one baffling comment of uber-stupidity. How could the overtly obvious sarcasm, mocking the very n00bs you’re accusing him of being, slip by you? Just how dense could you be?
“…and generally bitched that your crappy mario-thing game which you’ve been playing for all 10 years of your life is better than an MMORPG because.. wait, did you actually have any good reasons which didn’t involved relating your failed attempts to play an online game?”
- I love how people who offer criticisms of any game are lambasted by the very morons they’re attacking which then prove every point the article was making. You sir, are both an idiot and a dick, a dickidiot if you will.
“This is why little kids shouldn’t be allowed on the internet.. sigh. Now go ahead and make some joke about me being able to count to 4 points and how much skill that took. GG, BL and better luck next time.”
- This is why toddlers shouldn’t be allowed on the internet. At least without mommy and daddy’s supervision. They tend to prove just how assfacedly stupid kids can really be.
Cheers.
August 1st, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I play WoW every now and then, and this is EXACTLY how it is. This article has provided many laughs.
I died at anal [plumbing]. Oh the memories.
August 1st, 2009 at 3:46 am
Seanbaby!! I was a huge fan of your EGM articles!! Read this article and I thought the humor was familiar, and sure enough, you’re still employed by someone!!
Great article. You can tell by the details in the writing and the pictures you know what you are talking about when it comes to the game. Loved WoW= Girls Gone Wild.
Keep doing how you do, and such.
July 31st, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Man, this was sum funny ish. And everyone can tell who the butt hurt WoW players are. And for the record, he really didn’t put down WoW at all or call it hard or challenging. He said that MOST of the people who play are tards and explained why he calls them that. Note: He Never said everyone is… And if you got offended by his post, then you probably are that tard “It’s a trap”
When u get that offended you must’ve been the one with a penis in your eye
July 31st, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Y’know, I think that chatbox got ripped from a real server. The anal spam was a nice touch.
July 31st, 2009 at 4:24 pm
“That’s what your mom says to her penis when it’s attacking the innocent”
You have a gift my friend!
July 31st, 2009 at 4:14 pm
My favorite are the people arguing that people aren’t wasting their lives playing wow when a guy at my school got gang green in his foot cause he refused to stop playing to clean it.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I’m in tears.
Outstanding.
I play WoW, and I don’t think anyone who has ever puged a raid before will fail to find this hilarious and 100% accurate.
July 31st, 2009 at 11:12 am
XD my favorite part was the “No shit? Don’t touch the glowing death field? Because I figured I’d drop my pants and back into one of the punishing tendrils of dark energy, asshole.”
July 31st, 2009 at 10:30 am
Ok, so I forgot to add this, but…
If you’re going to make fun of WoW, do it in an intelligent, humorous manner, much like how Seanbaby did.
Don’t make yourself look like a WoWer in the process of making fun of it. Know that saying? “He who fights monsters should be careful not to become a monster himself?”
July 31st, 2009 at 10:29 am
The only thing more funny than this read is the comments some people put up, both in defense and attacking WoW.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:52 am
Hahaha, this stuff is brilliant. My head practically exploded with laughter when I saw that “anal [Plumbing]” in one of the pics xD
July 31st, 2009 at 4:56 am
fantastic
July 31st, 2009 at 12:09 am
Super Mario Brothers owns World of Warcraft!
July 30th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
this itsatrap dude is funny. lol. seanbaby is wondering why the wow community hates him. not even. i’ve read both the two wow articles and about 75% of the comments and i think it can be agreed even for the non gamers that someone knows someone who plays wow, and that what seanbaby wrote is spot on. i know some of my friends who play this game, infact i’ve lost some of them to this game and they speak in single word sentences, have gained weight, and have increased tempers…i don’t get the point of it. i’m a smb, donky kong, mortal kombat (old), sonic, space invaders, pacman, kind of gamer. i know it’s not as exciting as wow or all the new games out right now but i couldn’t care less. it was a funny article with good examples and an even better smb model. thanks seanbaby.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
geez. i’m getting around to reading this now and i don’t see why people were feeling so butt hurt. i mean seriously it’s not THAT insulting…and all of it if not most of it is true. i wasn’t offended, but then again i don’t play wow. thanks sb. the smb was actually a great model to work off of, except that smb is a classic, known by all, played by all, and fun/funny as hell (albeit repetitive). if i had to play a game with a large group of people…especially young testosterone and estorgen infested males or females i would go crazy and probably die from misery. i would rather enjoy some ho ho’s and ding dongs or anything hostess treats and die happily surrounded by fat sugar induing oh so good food…but then again i am only a gamer-lite. on to reading the rest of the comments. the internet is such a great facilitator.
July 30th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
why is this so correct lol. nice article
July 30th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
lol, i play wow and even i think it’s brilliant hehehe
hammer on the nail
July 30th, 2009 at 10:08 am
This is fucking brilliant.
July 30th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Best thing about WoW ive EVER read
make moar!!!
July 29th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
i laughed my fkn a$$ off!! “sorry ur mom’s dick was in my eye”
cracked me the fk up! toddlers in a dryer hahahaha i’m thinking itsatrap is a HntrPhuc
thanks for this!
i waste many nights away on this game - and this is one of the best descriptions i’ve ever read on what i’m accomplishing! gonna go take a nap in my pizza now
July 29th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I loved this.
I am sure there are a ton of hardcore players, the ones that think they are great but really suck, that will be pissed reading it, but I have seen this shit over and over again.
Funny stuff
July 29th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
dude, that was absolutely hysterical!! seriously, keep posting stuff man, that made my day lol
July 29th, 2009 at 11:42 am
It’sATrap Says:
July 28th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
2) Super Mario Brothers is the biggest fail ever created.
Incorrect.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Yes I am another one of those that have been taking by the darkness that is WoW and hell yes i laughed my a$$ off.
Loved some of the responses, brilliant!
It’sATrap Says:
July 28th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
2) Super Mario Brothers is the biggest fail ever created. You probably said on trade how awesome it is and then came to the conclusion everyone on WoW is a dick because they tried to set you straight.
BWHAHAHA! Top Class! ;P
July 29th, 2009 at 5:19 am
This was friggin’ epic. And yes, I play WoW. The predictability of the responses in these comments is so damned pathetic that I’m just going to reread seanbaby’s article on them rather than bother with the source material.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:15 am
Oh man the predictability of WoW fanboys is hilariously sad.
“Blah blah u pugged- ur full of fail - ur a scrub - WoW isn’t lame because blah blah blah - I don’t understand satire or parody - I have no sense of humor -”
No matter what you say and do, no matter how funny you are. Some WoW-tard will show up and explain in stupid detail how and why your hyperbole is wrong and why the fake character you mentioned in a scrub because he had too much hit rating or how that ability you mentioned has been nerfed or is for the wrong class.
Thus showing everyone how these stereotypes are absolutely spot on.
Go read the message boards for WoW to see the kind of unfunny crap these idiots find funny. Nothing beats old Chuck Norris jokes, Anal followed by [link] and memes that the community just discovered two minutes ago.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
1) You pug and wonder why you get the drop kicks of the wow community.
2) Super Mario Brothers is the biggest fail ever created. You probably said on trade how awesome it is and then came to the conclusion everyone on WoW is a dick because they tried to set you straight.
3) Commenting that WoW has no ending is the stupidest thing in this thread so far.. How many MMOs are there which actually have an ending? And then another good idea: I know, let’s compare a (crappy) console game to an MMORPG and then comment that one has an ending and one doesn’t! Wait.. you mean an offline game intended for one (or two) severely retarded children has a happy ending and the other game in a completely different gaming grenre doesn’t? Wow, you’re a FREAKING GENIUS.
4) You’re pugging a raid and then commenting that it’s disorganised, has stupid people in it and is generally a longgg sloowwwww agonisinggg ordeal? NO SHIT, YOU PUGGED IT.
Summing up the above four points, yes, you failed at WoW, didn’t get into a good guild, were amazed at the difficulty presented in PvE situations such as falling rocks (which give warning so you have no excuse if you get hit by it and die, kind of like a noob-filter) and generally bitched that your crappy mario-thing game which you’ve been playing for all 10 years of your life is better than an MMORPG because.. wait, did you actually have any good reasons which didn’t involved relating your failed attempts to play an online game? This is why little kids shouldn’t be allowed on the internet.. sigh. Now go ahead and make some joke about me being able to count to 4 points and how much skill that took. GG, BL and better luck next time.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I am wondering if there is an easy way to find my soul mate or sexy partner! I find that it’s not difficult to find my Mr.right when I saw MillionaireCupid.org, There are many sexy beauties and wealthy singles on that dating site, U may have a try!
July 28th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
i play wow, and the funny thing is that all of the descriptions are true hahahaha, and the best part was the kaz’rogal part, you can explain 2 hours, but people still fails in EVERY way xD in a raid, at least half of them are dicks XD
July 28th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I have been playing WoW and just one of those casual players that started playing cause a few of my friends bugged me enough. Say the least, this article is AWESOME!! If I could think of another word that could top that, it would be there. I have pissed people off because of how relaxed I am about this game and have left raids because it is more fun to hang out with friends in the real world. I’ve told people that it is just a game and to loosen up. The game though is entertaining and is a good time killer if you don’t have anything better to do. Kudos for writing this article. I will be passing this on to friends and family taht play and see if they laugh or get pissed.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
“Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.”
Should have had a safety advisory: “Do not read while smoking. Abrupt laughter may cause smoke to exit body through orifices not intended by nature or RJRenolds Tobacco Company. Also, your coworkers will look nervously at you as though you just figured out the last crucial step in your plan to kill everyone in the building – with ants.”
July 28th, 2009 at 9:49 am
[...] the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers http://www.cracked.com/blog/understa…ario-brothers/ Seriously funny. A must read, goes great with coffee. [...]
July 28th, 2009 at 8:53 am
WoW really is the easiest game on the internet at the moment, I mean , Runescape gave me a harder time than WoW.
If you guys really want a challenging and thought provoking MMO, (with PVP at all times, u can kill anyone anywhere that aren’t towns, PLUS amazing graffics) play Lineage 2. The game needs more players, and if everyone from WoW figured out what a waste of time WoW was, then maybe Lineage would get its chance at stardom.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:19 am
I’ve played WoW for 4 months now and even though Seanbaby’s depiction is pretty funny, it’s not necessarily the norm. WoW is essentially a reflection of real life; full of people who are doing their own thing, minding their own business, having fun with a few assholes & dickwads to ruin it for everyone. And, just like in real life, whenever you get a group together, there tends to be a dumbing down effect that is directly proportional to the size of the group.
Yeah, you have your dicks, crybabies, angry assholes and show offs demanding attention, along with some perverts, but that’s no different than any high school/college or work environment. Assholes and dicks everywhere.
For the most part, all the raids I’ve done have been great, yeah we got split up and killed, but it’s no different than my experience in the military, a cluster waiting to happen. Plus, it’s hard to communicate through text.
There are, by far, more pleasant and cool people on WoW (just like in real life) than there are assholes, dicks and cocksucking perverts. It’s just unfortunate that these dickwads ruin it for everyone else, yet funnier to say that most people act this way.
Funny as usual Sean, always good to read your rants.
R
July 28th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Dude, this rocks! Great post!
July 27th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
The “when you tell 25 people to go to The Caverns of Time” part pretty much sums up why I play solo in less crowded MMOs. That & sharing the loot.
I got turned off to WoW before I could even try it because the editors at Games for Windows & PCGamer wouldn’t stfu about it. Plus, if it’s “popolar” there must be something sinister & wrong with it, like shitty pop music.
July 27th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
i realize my spelling is terrible however the meaning should be clear enough so i will let it go thanks for not trying to pick that apart….
July 27th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Ok so i have to say i have friends who play WOW…and guess what they are FAT, Lazy, and tend to be DICKS….well there you go i just proved you right on this one…i have to say that the whole in-chat was probably the best part…but it would not have worked as well without the article…some people are morons that cant get laid,cant find thier penises through all the layers of fat, or are fucking retarded and had their humor glands eaten by rabid weasels like a mouse would alegedly eats cheese….its kinda sad….this world has lost so much thanks to WOW and now we finally have someone who can right an inteligent humorous comentary on why….THANK YOU
July 27th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Wow, I gotta say, your article yelling at the people who yelled at you for this was just defended. If people got upset over you telling them the truth then they need to grow some fucking thicker skin. I’m an Ex-WoW player. (And hardcore raider) Who realized that the game was a waste of my life and I was tired of yelling at people for being fucking retarded. So I fell into the dick category. Great work on the article however. Pretty funny, I liked the in game chat and shit. Too bad you didn’t cover battlegrounds though. That would have been fucking classic.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
As much as it is insulting to WoW players like myself, I cannot argue with this. Its speaks truth! Every frustration a raid leader has ever had the misfortune of having is explained here.
“Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible”
I actually came to that conclusion long ago, but mine said “WoW players redefine failure.”
July 27th, 2009 at 11:54 am
500!
July 27th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Played WoW for two years now, and every word of this article is true.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:17 am
I’ll admit it. I play WoW.
And just about everything that he said in the article above is absolutely true.
Most WoW players are dicks and idiots, if not both at the same time.
This is why I stopped raiding, and started doing PVP much more.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:01 am
I am of commenter species #11. Shows what you know.
Booyah.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Hahaha…you know what’s funny? Most of this is true. And you know what else is funny? The people who are getting pissed at him for writing this all play WoW.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
That was awesome! I’ve never played WoW, but now I get it! and btw, I LOVE Ghostbusters!
July 26th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Oh, fucking brilliant. I enjoyed the ever living fuck out that…DO IT AGAIN!
July 26th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
OMFG I just quit WoW about a month ago because it was getting ridiculously easy. Very funny and very true. While I was playing, I had only went on two raids and both of them matched 95% of what you described. KUDOS, MY FRIEND!!!
July 26th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
this guy is a retard with his way to many random jokes attempting to be funny.
you obviously played wow for a very long time like the nolifer you are and now you quit and start telling people how bad it is,all the bullshit you mentioned,remember not everyone is like you some people just play the game to have fun with their friends.
you say people get jealous when somebody else gets an item.
THATS YOU,i can already see you behind your computer getting pissed because you didnt win that blue skirt
July 26th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Bravo, sir! Hilarious and true - the traits of real comedy.
July 26th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
This article unfortunately misses a key point: The reason there are so many idiots, retards and douchebags in WoW is because the population of WoW is so high, resulting in it conforming to the same statistics as the population at large, most of whom are idiots, retards and/or douchebags. The funny thing is, as stupid and incompetent as many WoW players are, I run into far greater stupidity and incompetence at work. It’s enough to make you wonder how society functions at all some days.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Oh hellz yeah. I have been playing for three years, and Seanbaby… you hit the nail right on the head. Most (read 95%) of the players out there are utter douche bags, and it doesn’t matter what age they are. I run a guild and see players come and players go, and I really don’t care….lol. They are just cannon fodder for story lines like these. I have only ever managed to find a few good players that realize IT’S JUST A GAME ….lol.. for those that don’t it’s called /gkick-douchebag. I am referring everyone to this article before they even get a chance to join my guild. And for the haters out there, the other posters are right, go buy a sense of humor or it’s /lifekick for YOU ! My only regret is that unlike WoW, we have no way to /lifekick people …. something we seriously need ….lol
July 26th, 2009 at 3:19 am
DONT refer to WoW as warcraft!!!
Warcraft is a stratagie game and is NOTHING like this. Simular story line thats all. i DEMAND you appologise!
July 25th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
This is funny as hell I play WoW and I laugh at it. While there are alot of people like that on the game There are alot that arn’t like that also.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I’m glad Blizzard made WoW. It helps keep that percentage of the internet distracted and well away from places I like to hang. Kinda like church. This article killed. I loved it. Thanks for making my Sunday.
July 25th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Why the fuck would you guys even attempt to defend World of Warcraft? It’s entirely true. People destroy their social lives and moral values so they can play an online game with millions of obese men who like to role-play as elf bitches with blue skin and sell themselves off to other players with their racial dance.
No lie, I had somebody try to do that one time when I played. lol
This is fucking pathetic, the fact that Blizzard would go out of their way to destroy America as we know it with shit MMOs like this.
Warcraft 3? The RTS? Starcraft? Diablo I/II/III? Those were honest games.
Instead, they come out with WORLD of Warcraft which is a complete failure in it’s own right, where everything you do that regards interacting with people who haven’t even gotten a GED turns into a total clusterfuck of second grade insults, hardasses, and all around douchebags who ruin what WOULD be an originally honest game.
Games? Fine. Add a shitload of people to the mix who think they’re fucking G.I.Joe? You get an entire community of socially outcast, morally corrupt and physically declining individuals with little-to-no ambition, who’s greatest achievement is having a level 80 DeathKnight on Agamaggan or whatever the fuck the server names are.
Seriously, flamers? Go find something more constructive to do with your lives.
Hopelessly pathetic people who are feverently defending WoW, Blizzard in general, and use games to escape their own personal strife and refuse to deal with political issues? Please go hang yourselves.
To the sane people who write the articles at Cracked.com and all the other people out there who, just like me, understand that it’s a FUCKING GAME, thank you for proving I’m not the only game junkie who can still manage to have a life
July 25th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
A-fucking-mazing. Funny and true. Blizzard must be stopped.
July 25th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Yea there are retarded ppl in wow but there are plenty who knew wtf they are doing. you sound more like a whiney bitch who could not accomplish little if anything in wow. Yea u say go enjoy life…whts to enjoy a poor economy,war, and retards everywhere u go in the real world why should i put up with ppl like that who i would more then likely kill and go to prison when i can play wow and ignore the retards? So u can have ur very warped outlook on wow but just shows how little u actually know…….
July 25th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Ha I love the comments and reponses on the above pictures. Exactlly how it is in game. People who claim to be big when the truth of the matter is that they are hiding behind their computer and in a real life situation would run off in the opposite direction with their tail in between their legs.
Biggest thing I hate about people in WoW is the gay comments.
‘This boss did not drop this item!’
‘That’s gay’
‘This fight is too long’
‘That’s gay’
‘I am a closeted homo who is too afraid to come out for fear that I will be rejected’
‘That’s gay’
July 24th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Lol, this made my day!
July 24th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Aww. Some of it was a little harsh. Not all WoW players are dicks. But, the raid demographic was spot-on.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Well, I actually read the sequel to this article first, and it made me come look for this one.
All I can say is you’re absolutely right.
I got bored of WoW and the useless player community within thirty minutes of starting. I think I’d actually rather go back to playing RuneScape than go back to WoW.
Also, I’ve got a sad story to tell. I once had a friend named John. He was very athletic, leading our school’s team to victory several times in various sports. He one day started playing WoW. Now all he does is whine to his friends about how he doesn’t have [X] amount of gold, doesn’t have [blank] mount, etc. And all he does in his free time is… you guessed it… play WoW. So far, our school hasn’t won anything for… oh… Probably three years now. And John got fat. I forgot that part. I also forgot the part about him making videos of his character trying to rape things that he killed.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Yeah, that’s pretty much hitting the nail on the head. I personally take enjoyment at laughing at the tards you mentioned in this article. I’ve got 3 level 80s, and did end game, it’s exactly as you mentioned. For you morons who can’t take a joke, hopefully you read my comment and think twice before wasting your breath in typing an angered response. I heard they sell senses of humor on Ebay. You should invest in one.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
This is possibly the funniest article I have ever read!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
As a WoW player, i can safely say, “Yeah, pretty much.”
July 24th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
why do you hate WoW?
July 24th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
haha great one! my dad and brother used to play WoW constantly and this would have been great to show them!
Hope people arent giving you too much shit about this article, it’s bound to affend some people with no humor (see Section 2: Dicks)
July 24th, 2009 at 10:15 am
“Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop.”
that me me lol. very funny. love the work seanbaby
July 24th, 2009 at 9:50 am
“One, flippers for hands. You can only sit in one place for so long before your DNA starts to think you’re a walrus” that one fucking killed me. i know several walri converted from playing wow. though the tusks don’t come until their 2nd character reaches level 70.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:03 am
man, seanbaby, i just wanted to say that this is fucking hilarious (i play wow too so i can relate). im about to read the 10 species of angry commenter piece right now too
July 24th, 2009 at 8:01 am
That was fantastic, effing brilliant!
July 24th, 2009 at 5:58 am
hahahaha, this is great, i play WoW and raid casually with my guild and this is fan-fucking-tastic hahahaha, perfectly describes a pick up group or a bad night. great work and keep it up =)
July 24th, 2009 at 5:37 am
This is great! Never played WOW though, but it still is funny.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:31 am
[...] Understanding World of Warcraft with Super Mario Brothers metaphors. Warcraft is a lot like sex in that you can’t really get anything done unless you have at least five people. But let’s look at the figures: A five-man group in World of Warcraft contains one to five dicks and four to five idiots. Getting a WoW group to do anything together is harder than getting a bag of chickens its SCUBA certification. [...]
July 24th, 2009 at 3:24 am
This article is so fucking funny. I saw the one about the internet tough guys and had to read. Make this a series, or do Halo next, just please follow this up somehow!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:10 am
I feel bad for people that got sucked into WoW. I used to overhear my neighbor talking about some level 30 mage-dwarf with devout kneecaps wielding a spork attempting to steal treasure from a disenchanted rape-resistant she-elf holding casting the divine contraception spell. Seriously…what. the. fuck.
Instead of barricading yourself in your room on a saturday afternoon with a baker’s dozen hot-pockets and a case of Jolt cola, enjoy life. Like biking to the beach and drinking yourself retarded in order to throw yourself shamelessly at women too good looking for you with the hopes that one might be drunk enough to let you be her next regret (or something similar).
July 24th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Agreed wtf do you win in WOW? Do not get me wrong i love video games but those whole you can level up forever and there is no closure games suck. Its like watching prison break you never get any god damn closure. You watch movies to kill like 3 hours tops (if its lotr). you play games to kill time. why would you play a game that never ends? just move on to heroine already and contribute to something economically at least.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:06 am
Wow, I know my bf was playing WoW for longer than me and he told me about how annoying raids are. I was so lucky that on my first raid I actually found people who spoke English and weren’t retarded. They were so helpful, they even joined our guild. And this is on a private server where, I kid you not, half the population are Russian belfs. (I was a Draenei enchant shaman).
I quit playing a bit after I hit 70. There’s no point in playing anymore once you’re maxed out. I also hated the PvP.
You could seriously write a whole article about just the Barrens Chat. Please do, seanbaby, please do.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Tom, do you mean “comma sense”? As in, the ability to use punctuation?
Seriously though, this article is awesome.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
dude not gonna lie people that play wow are retarded 99% of the time i do play wow im good at it im also insanely good at other games but seriously wow takes .5% skill and that skill is the skill to find where your common sense is
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
So anonymity actually DOES make people stupid. It isn’t an act after all!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:52 pm
But seriously, I laughed a lot and you owe me a new ass.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 pm
459th
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 pm
While I do play WoW, I have to say this article is hilarious, not to mention pretty much completely true. Hank’s Cow Store FTW!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
“Runs in the other direction and offers to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop.”, The “Rapist Chewbacca” and the ENTIRE Electric fence deal…Priceless.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I thought this was great! I have some freinds who play WOW but I’ve never played it myself. I thought it was great because I can totally picture that this is so true of them
This article made my day!
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:25 pm
good laugh out of this one. I think someone plays a tank.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Seanbaby,
Your articles rock my world
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:17 pm
OH GOD IT’S ALL TRUE. that’s why it’s so good. your description of the 25 people in your raid had me rolling.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Holy shit I was laughing for twenty straight minutes, swear to God.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I play WoW on an occasional weekly basis. But the way you portrayed the chatlog - fucking hilarious. I was sitting here laughing my ass off.
But you gotta understand, people aren’t THAT stupid on Warcraft.
Okay they’re that stupid.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Anyone who’s raging on this article dies on Heigan. The end.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
kinda hard to follow since i dont play WoW but i kno what its like to hear people talkin about it and thinking theyre aliens with their own language so it helped me understand a little bit
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Dude, he didn’t even mention the “raids” used to be 40 people.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Oh my goodness.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an accurate description of World of Warcraft since the “ROFLMFAO,” music video.
Great job, Seanbaby.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 am
Seanbaby, you are most definately at your best when you’re writing about video games. The best laughs I’ve had since “The 25 worst video games ever.” Thank you sir.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:07 am
Oh this is so true.
Don’t waste your time with this game unless you have 24 compitent friends.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Holy shit, this was the funniest fucking article I’ve read here since…well, probably since the SIMS article SB wrote. As a WoW player, it’s even funnier…unless you’re a douchy kid or 40 year old man-child (see SB’s hate mail post this week).
-Rog
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Seanbaby has been the best thing about the internet for, like, a decade.
I play WoW. In fact, I have a wow blog. And yet I LOVED this article. I’m glad someone finally had the sense and balls to come out and say that moving out of the way of something in 6 seconds is so easy it’s on the first screen of super mario brothers, and it’s an embarrassment that most wow players can’t handle such basic tasks.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 am
ok this was freakin hilarious..and true…but if your in a good guild with smart people wow is really fun game….dont knock the warcraft
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:53 am
i just cunted myself
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:31 am
“yeah dude ha ha your article is great man. world of warcraft IS pretty dumb, right? so anyway when I obsessively play it…”
July 21st, 2009 at 9:31 pm
that was really good, i like the last picture where it says, anal [plumming] all this is so true
July 21st, 2009 at 8:44 pm
nice job, pretty damn accurate
July 21st, 2009 at 12:34 pm
BTW, notice all the minimaps are just a straight line.
July 21st, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Definitely Kurist, EVERYONE has a had a [Penis] in their raid. Everyone hates the little bastard and everyone is shocked to find out that the guy is usually in his twenties.
Though if there was an I.Q. test, each server would consist of three twenty man guilds on each faction and there would be only four servers.
All of the above Seanbaby examples are why I stopped playing WoW.
Blizzard supports and enforces this kind of community.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:59 am
This is quite true, although not always the situation. I would say more the like 99% of the time this article is 100% correct.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:46 am
It doesn’t matter how much you try to get decent people in a group in wow for a raid or whatever, there is always someone like Penis in the chat channel (Section 5 picture). There should be an IQ quest before you log into WOW to stop 4 year old’s and idiots playing it. Perhaps a quiz to rule out the dicks of the community too
July 21st, 2009 at 9:40 am
Being a WoW player, a person desperately lost in a sea of stupid, I salute you sir.
Brilliant writing, requesting a sequel.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:43 am
I play WoW and I have to say, this is the funniest article I have ever read (yes I can read, don’t make fun of WoW nerds). I agree with prety much everything you wrote here, in a nutshell that is basicly WoW. If you have anything else, please make another one!
July 21st, 2009 at 7:08 am
[...] WoW Using Super Mario Brothers Another good one from cracked.com, e.g.: [...]
July 21st, 2009 at 7:05 am
Wonderful article, depicts that plague of pc gaming perfectly. Yet those wow clowns still try to say its not like this… how is it not like this when everyone’s saying to same thing? Don’t lie to yourselves kids.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:05 am
I play WoW and I have to say, your description of the population is astonishingly accurate.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:31 am
Aha! Finally proof in the screenshot for section 3 that SEANBABY HIMSELF IS CARLOS MENCIA
July 21st, 2009 at 1:12 am
hey “holden Mcgroin” you cant play for two weeks and decide it is easy. The game is easy in the first 20 levels so people who are new can learn to play the game. it only starts to get hard in the later levels. everyone says it sucks because they dont give a chance. nobody seems to have patience anymore for something they cant win or understand in the first 20 minutes. All im trying to say is dont comment on something you know nothing about… ya i know i sound like a nerd but i like the game.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:03 am
LOL. So true. So true.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
[...] Warcraft explained with Super Mario – for us older people [...]
July 20th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
In soviet russia, mario plays you? Hmm, that was about the funniest guide I’ve ever read.
By the way, Chewbacca is a GREAT defense attorney!
July 20th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Well I agree, and I only played the game for 2 weeks before I figured out how boring, and easy the game was. The game really is a no skill your grandma can play with no trouble game. Just point, click, and click. people with little to no video game skill find this game exciting cause they cannot figure out simple things like QCF, HP.
July 20th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
The article was alright, but the best part was the comments. They pretty much made one of the first sentences the punchline for this one “To the average man, another speaking on Warcraft sounds not unlike a rapist Chewbacca acting as his own defense attorney.” seriously, just watch what people have to say about my comment. This is going to be goood… bring it on Chewy Rapists
July 20th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
This applies to alot of WoW… but not all. I cant stand playing my warrior because his server is nothing but jackasses and Ret paladins. (Stormreaver) Although I love playing my mage (Aerie Peak), just ‘/leave trade’ and find a decent guild. If a guildleader isnt kicking members who cant follow instructions during a raid you should /gquit.
July 20th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
wow may not be a completely skill-less game, but it’s pretty close. Even for the “top guilds” the hard part of killing big raid bosses isn’t an issue of being skilled, it’s figuring out what each boss does, when, and what to do to counter it.
And given that arenas are basically just long drawn out games of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” they’re a joke of an e-sport, which is saying something because e-sports are already a pretty big joke.
for reference, i had downed KT in 40man naxx and was in a ~2200 arena team
July 20th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
This was a hilarious read. I’ve been playing for over 3 years now and I gotta say everything he said was spot on for a newcomer to the game. When you first start playing you only get into these horrible (pugs) or raids of 23 other bad players with 1 single decent player trying to lead.
As far as this game not taking any skill that’s a bit far-fetched but still a funny topic. Getting 24 other members of your guild to kill the last boss of an expansion (pre-nerf) is never an easy task. Also arenas are an E-sport for god’s sake. Top arena teams have some very skilled players.
If you think otherwise then you’ve never been in a top 1-500 world guild or haven’t been past a lowsy 1900 arena rating.
July 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
also, i don’t remember CoD4 being a subscription-required game..
July 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@Haha, epic
just because something is popular doesnt make it good.
If popularity = greatness, then the jonas brothers wouldnt make my ears bleed
July 20th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Haha, so true. I’ve been playing WoW for 2 years and this is pretty much what happened to me for two years XD
For people who appose this guy need to grow up and learn that it’s his opinion
and for people who think WoW sucks, you need to grow up because obviously the game can’t be as bad as use say it is if it has 11 million subscribers world wide, when call of duty 4 has not even 1 million…
July 20th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I almost pissed myself laughing.
You pretty much have WoW and it’s community nailed.
WoW has more dicks and assholes than an All Anal Action Marathon.
July 20th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I loled so hard,
then loled even more when someone suggested wow required skill in comments.
Spot on article, so true xDD
July 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
In defense of idiots… where super mario bros has little mario, big mario, flower power, and invincible, WoW has 80 different degrees of “big”, hundreds of different kinds of flower power, and very limited invincibility given only to retarded players [called "Paladins"] who would otherwise not be able to play with the other kids.
In mario, with a clear and clean interface, it is easy to tell where you are and what your options are among exactly 8 buttons, one of which pauses the game, thus making it relatively easy to avoid rocks and pools of lava. WoW players finds it difficult to avoid such hazards because they spend the vast majority of their time keeping track of their hundred different kinds of flower power badly organized on a hundred different buttons, and when they look up, most of the time all they see is a tauren scratching his butt.
In mario, when you shoot your flower
July 20th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Reefergod,
you can replace every instance of “WoW” in this article with the name/acronym of ANY MMORPG and it would read the same. You could use EQ, SWG, DAoC, UO, etc… I think the author just chose WoW because it’s the latest hippest thing.
July 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
This article is very well done and very funny. One thing to point out. Only someone who has played WoW for a very long time would understand and be able to make such an article. Meaning this guy bashing this game is also someone who played it a lot. Don’t be a hypocrite, it’s just bad taste.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:57 am
I was pretty into WoW for about two years and this article pretty much illustrates the exact reason I quit playing. It’s a great game in theory, but the people make it unbearable. Once you get your character to max level it’s supposed to be all about taking on huge group challenges but getting a 25-man together is just like it’s described in this article (hilarious, by the way). I finally realized there’s not much point in putting so much time and effort into a game that takes two hours just to get a group together who will probably fail at the first boss, never ends, and no matter how good you get there’s always some asshole in his mom’s basement who plays for 18 hours a day, has all the best gear, and will sit there and one-shot you over and over again while calling you a noob until you realize that there are hundreds of much more gratifying and rewarding games out there and just give it up.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:38 am
“SeanBabySucks Says:
July 18th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Seanbaby you sad fucking cunt. You used the picture of the dragon from Mega Man II instead of Super Mario Brothers. Hang your head in a shame you cocksucker.”
Oooohhhhh buuuurrrrrnnnn!!
You didn’t even use the right dragons…
Are you fucking kidding me!???? Really?? Who’s the sad fucking cunt in this scenario???
SeanBabySucks… I’m looking at you!
July 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am
hasan chop: You know nothing about cutting. You know what masochism means, right? The majority of cutters fall in to that category.
As for the article… meh. It could have pointed out that there are indeed normal people who play WoW, but it was a fairly good description of the addicts.
July 20th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Fucking hilarious and true
July 20th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Lol i used to play wow and the pictures made me LOL so hard. All true. lol
July 20th, 2009 at 8:23 am
[...] For more, check out: Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers [...]
July 20th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Haha, this was an awesome/hilarious article!
I can’t help but laugh at those who are trying to bash you for this. Offended much, are they?
July 20th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Funniest thing I’ve read all month…
July 20th, 2009 at 6:46 am
I spent the past two nights trying to run the same instance with pickup groups. Your article was spot on - three or four different tanks managed to confuse “keep pulling those mobs backwards to we can avoid the bombs they lay down” with “wait til those guys lay down bombs and then jump on top of them until they blow up”. This was the perfect read after a weekend wipefest. Thanks!
July 20th, 2009 at 6:18 am
This was brilliant… A+ comedy my friend.
July 20th, 2009 at 5:24 am
@ OP
you must be idiot sire.
go play mario, your brains can’t even probably figure out “dont stand in fire” , that’s why you’r pissed off wow..
July 20th, 2009 at 4:10 am
This was amusing, cheers!
Sadly, you’re quite right… and I’m saying this after ~4 years of playing WoW.
A game so easy and accessible it’s played by every idiot in town
July 20th, 2009 at 3:03 am
[...] You might be asking, “How can one video game help explain another?” If you are, please turn to section )*) to kiss my learning program on the ass and butthole. Everyone else, let’s continue. [...]
July 20th, 2009 at 3:00 am
[...] Want to understand World of Warcraft better, maybe Mario can help you. [...]
July 20th, 2009 at 2:03 am
so, seanbaby, how many years did you play for?
July 19th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Brilliant. i loved all the chat window txt on the pictures, and as a wow player myself, i can vouch for your every word.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
[...] the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com There’s a reason my personal filesharing server’s domain name is seanbaby.homeip.net I’ve been [...]
July 19th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Yeradick, the people who play this game (the addicts, mind you, I have nothing against the people who play it casually or at least with some form of control) are NOT normal, functional people with good cars or families. They are dysfunctional assholes who are lonely and instead of pursuing a real life, they go with a virtual life that makes them feel better until the money runs out and their minuscule brains claw their way out of their asses and plead for euthanasia.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
haha I totally agree with Fergand about the PUG’s. Anyhow, just wanted to say good job on this. It was all I could do to keep from laughing loud enough to wake eveyone in the house!
July 19th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Pure win.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
The saddest part is the players who tell everyone in the game about their child, as if they are bragging to all the other kids playing the game. All I could think of when they did this was “why aren’t you taking care of your kid?”
That’s quite a bit more sad and pathetic than the people who lost their marriages because they kept playing WoW all the time. At least they didn’t end up bringing a kid into all this dysfunction, potentially ruining the future generation with their idiocy.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
To yeradick,
First of all, why would you read this when you knew damn well it was going to bash WoW and its players?
Second of all, I am a WoW player and I found this hilarious because, while exaggerated, it’s more or less true. There are a lot of idiots and dicks on the game, the isn’t that true with the Internet in general?
Third, why do you care? Get a life.
July 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
no one enjoys world of warcraft, they simply have bad taste in games and no idea what the meaning of “fun” is if they keep playing it
it would be like saying that a cutter enjoys the feeling of cutting themselves, that’s just not the reason they do it and if you don’t understand that then you are objectively wrong
wow is not a video game, it is a grinding work simulator you pay to work for, hence why most of the people playing it are not gamers
July 19th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Ok I have been playing WoW for damn near forever *Corgriss on the Draenor server, Puggernaut* and I have to say that this is the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen bashing WoW. To be honest, this is all true, just less exagerated…. usually.
July 19th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
pretty much the exact description of everything that happens in wow
altho I would add how a lot of these problems are still the fault of the developers for being incompetent
July 19th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
lol perfect description of wow
July 19th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
wotlk
PrePaid Game Card
WOW Key
July 19th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
OK First and foremost whoever wrote this article is a whinny lil baby who prolly tried playing wow but had no real skill so decided to take his bitchin to a whole new lvl and write a 3 day long post on why he is such a noob.
secondly: Why would you sit there and bash wow players with such ridiculousness when most are hard working family ppl with good jobs and a nice car , who simply like to play a game that imo has become one of the biggest in history so far …?
anyway i’m done, yer a douchbag and should prolly stop bein such a whinny little girl .
Thanx : banak
July 19th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Describes a bad PUG pretty well actually.
Spend 5 minutes basically telling everyone to stand next to the guy with a large green triangle above his head or you get blown up.
15 seconds into the fight we have 1 tank (the triangle guy), 2 DPS, and a healer (me) left out of the original 25…
This is Heigan BTW, easiest raid boss ever…
July 19th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Great article many laughs. Sometimes in games you’ll also get the guy who types poop over over again.
POOP
POOP
POOP
POOP
POOP
POOP
POOP
POOP
July 19th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
[...] Want to understand World of Warcraft better, maybe Mario can help you. [...]
July 19th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
[...] Want to understand World of Warcraft better, maybe Mario can help you. [...]
July 19th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
This is hilarious.
And i have met such people.
July 19th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Although it was funny in some parts, a lot of it was over the top.
But that’s the cracked way.
I really enjoyed the mario images.
July 19th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
[...] Want to understand World of Warcraft better, maybe Mario can help you. [...]
July 19th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
so FUCKING true, haha
July 19th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
List of people who have posted after my first post who fit into it.
-adam
-ffffffffff
-Helthell
-Hippydave
-B-Rye
-Ricky
-Tim
Jesus people! shut up!
July 19th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Hahah, awesome post. Thank you for a good start to my monday morning!
July 19th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
[...] erudite. Console gamers, go have a good 15 minutes of schadenfreude. MMO fans, commisserate here. Understanding World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers [Cracked, thanks [...]
July 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
That… was… awesome.
July 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I laughed, I sighed. I /palmforehead’d.
WoW veteran here
I prefer video games to television, and when our son goes to bed, the hubby and I play.
And I am truly astounded by how people can get hit by the big, green, slow-moving clouds…it reminds me of that steamroller bit in Austin Powers.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
max
i heard somewhere that your name is the most common pet name in america, which has nothing to do with my point it just popped into my head when i went to call you a tool. tool.
oh, and no i don’t play, preachy faggot
July 19th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Max, If you enjoy something how on earth is it a waste of time?? Of course playing an MMO doesn’t result in any real achievement (except for a massive epeen), but as long as you enjoy what you do in your spare time there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think they call that a “hobby”. I play football on occasion, are you going to tell me to stop playing that too? It won’t benefit me in the future, won’t move me up in the world and what’s worse I get no epix epeen!!!!
I think you need to have a rethink before you spout ridiculous twaddle like “take responsibility for their lives, and stop playing MMO’s entirely.”
July 19th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Also as the leader of a guild and the main raid leader… I found this article hysterical. But at times… uncomfortably accurate.
Running a raid in WOW is like trying to heard cats: horribly retarded, blind and incoherent cats. The very fact that these people actually exist (let alone in such volume) makes me start to question natural selection.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK
July 19th, 2009 at 11:36 am
As a Wow Raid Leader and Guild Leader, this was hilarious. Thanks for the laughs!
“Within moments, 15 people are lying in various states of liquid directly in front of the demon lord Kaz’rogal. As for the other 10 people, hey, they didn’t know you fuckers were starting.”
I’m pretty sure I remember that moment.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Max who replied to this article a couple spaces below me. Ahem:
you have no sense of humor and i feel bad for anyone who has to live in close proximity to you. You are like the black hole of Humor-lessness, draining fun and humor from anyone un-lucky enough to get close to you.
so i think what you should do is go back to your Psuedo-intellectual readings on “Early Hungarian Cabinet Making” which is a much healthier activity. This will give your wife or girlfriend more opportunities to sneak out of the house and engage in some “Healthy Activities” with someone who doesnt have a stick up their ass.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:26 am
The people who didn’t find this funny are the people who play WoW and don’t want to admit that they are the very retards you speak of.
Well written, loved it.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Tim,
I hate to say it, but you’re displaying the typical characteristics of the exact attitude I’ve run into.
I’m very happy for you, you’ve accomplished a great deal of things I’m certain you must feel proud of. What I see is exactly what I described, someone defending an unhealthy activity because they are able to do so in moderation. While you claim you can do so (and I highly doubt it), most cannot.
I will once again re-iterate a certain point I will not falter from; MMO’s are a waste of time. You choose to waste some of your time playing them, to say that this is a constructive activity… We all know that MMO’s are designed like a treadmill, you’re essentially running in place and chatting with others while you do so. While the process can be fun for a while, I find it very difficult to believe that it can remain so for so many years.
And frankly, the current structure of these games requires you to waste a lot of your time if you want to do anything of interest in game.
July 19th, 2009 at 10:20 am
WoW player here. One who rolls with 24 other people a few nights a week for a few hours at a time.
Just wanted to say, this is fucking hilarious. Awesome job, Sean!
July 19th, 2009 at 7:58 am
Yes, I’m a WoW player. Yes it is sad. Yes, I wish I had a better way to spend my time (but I currently don’t - I wont bother explaining why).
Anyways, Sean you’re article was awesome, not to mention side-splittingly funny. It’s great to be able to laugh at anyone (including ourselves) but just to add a thing or two. Isn’t everyone’s lovely responses/suggestions exaclty the crap we deal with in WoW, and (wow-tip) “Remember to take everything in moderation, even World of Warcraft”
July 19th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Wow…I feel dumber for having read this whole article. I thought it was going to get good at some point, but it’s just a poorly constructed rant with a bunch of terribly made-up analogies strung together.
July 19th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Truly brilliant article.
As a long term WOW player, I hate to admit this article is nearly all true, if just a little exxagerated.
In EU, it doesn’t seem to be as bad as you all say, maybe I’m jsut lucky
But great article Seanbaby
July 19th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Hmmm. About 50% more views than his last week’s article ALREADY, and twice as many comments.
WoW fags are cool guys. Glad all these haters don’t actually read anything Seanbaby writes.
July 19th, 2009 at 4:54 am
I had to skip to the bottom just to see if I was right. Yes, Seanbaby did write this. Unfoutunately reading a ton of bullshit like this is equal to/greater than another ton of bullshit inserted to compare one nonsensical statement to another.
July 19th, 2009 at 3:54 am
That was an amazing write up.
So funny
July 19th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Holy cow! I followed a link to read this without looking at who wrote it and couldn’t figure out why it was so funny and fantastic. Then I found out that Seanbaby wrote it, which means he’s still alive. That is two plus marks in today’s column.
July 19th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Max,
Just because you feel guilty that you spent 3 years on a game doesn’t mean others do. I don’t “defend” my wow playing time I explain to you how I fit it into my life. Read and LEARN grasshopper.
I’ve played everquest and wow since 2000 and since the year 2000 I’ve achieved the following: 1) Got married (and still happily married), 2) completed a university degree(law), 3) Held down a full time job, 4) Still see my friends that I’ve had for over 15 years and have recently my wife had a baby. It is about prioritising your time and saying “its ok if I play a computer game but I’ll be the master of how much I play it” and also, “RL comes first”. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I feel sad that you think your last 3 years have been a waste and an addiciton. Also a question… do you watch TV? well I can’t see the difference between 2 hours in front of the TV and 2 hours on wow…. except in wow you interact with other people
Funny thing is though most people that criticise the time spent in MMONRPG’s watch TV. I’ve got 5 friends in RL who play wow but whom I also see regularly out and about. Be the adult and master your time management. Take control of your life.
July 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am
I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the “teaching your son to play baseball” metaphor.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Observe The Wow player(SeanBabySucks) in his natural habitat,the comments section…
July 18th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Seanbaby you sad fucking cunt. You used the picture of the dragon from Mega Man II instead of Super Mario Brothers. Hang your head in a shame you cocksucker.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Why do people go through the time to whine about something that people are just going to make fun of them for whining about?I must ponder th-… oh wait. they play wow and DEFEND it. Never mind…
July 18th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
This is article is utter brilliance. Seriously genius and genuine truth. I started playing wow in October 2006 and quit about three months ago. All the while I was playing, I knew very well how bad a habit it was, what a colossal waste of time it was, and I didn’t try to defend it.
What surprised me so much however, was the extent to which other players would try to defend their addiction, and justify it as perfectly healthy and normal.
It is neither healthy, nor normal, to play the same game 15 or more hours a week, for an extended period of six months. Anyone trying to convince themselves otherwise, is simply trying to lie to themselves so they don’t have to feel guilty about what they are doing.
Thank you for this article, people need to read it and take responsibility for their lives, and stop playing MMO’s entirely.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
awesome!!!!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
+1 up for truth
July 18th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
That was the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time. I play WoW: This is all completely true, the captions were priceless, all around a fucking fantastic article.
July 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Where can I download you UI!!!!111
July 18th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
[...] erudite. Console gamers, go have a good 15 minutes of schadenfreude. MMO fans, commisserate here. Understanding World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers [Cracked, thanks [...]
July 18th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
One last add as I read the comments….
THERE IS A WAY TO PLAY WoW FOR FREE. Look it up. Free servers do exist so you don’t have to pay a monthly fee to get instant frustration.
July 18th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Seems you’ve aggravated the WoW Cracked readers as only the truth can do. I’ve played WoW and Runescape and you are 100% correct, except that sometimes older players DO get together and leave the adolescents behind to mindlessly kill themselves with the same monster over and over while calling someone else a noob.
These are the same dicks who will inform any new players of SMB/WOW that the Second one was all just a dream and it’s next to impossible to put Luigi through any ice areas. “It ws drem, noob!”
Potential future players of WoW? Want to find out just how bad the literacy rate is in the US? Want to find out just how bad teamwork is? Then by all means give this game a try. If you can understand what another player is typing in English, chances are they are from Latvia or Lithuania and speak better english than our own kids.
Yes, I’m an adult who plays video games. What else can a disabled person do with his free time which is infinite(Even if I wasn’t disabled I’d still play a lot albeit wouldn’t play any MMORPG’s. These are life killers)? I’ve met grannies in their 80’s playing some of these games. It beats them vegetating over Oprah and Jeopardy with their remaining life.
Thanks for this, Seanbaby. As always I got another stomach ache from laughing at your writing. I’ve been reading your Seanbaby.com stuff for years(I don’t comment on much as a rule of thumb). You were the one that finally let me realize just how bad playing crap video games to comment on was almost sado/masochistic to oneself. Glad you’re there to do it plus make these games at least worth a laugh with your metaphors.
Also, don’t abandon your takes on early cartoons. For those of you who don’t know, he has a hilarious take on the Superfriends. There are literally hundreds of these terrible cartoons to make fun of. Super Harlem Globetrotters, Jabberjaw, Banana Splits, …on and on.
July 18th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Good read. Very funny. As for those of you insulting the person who posted the article or saying to stop whining, you should learn what a joke is.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
[...] erudite. Console gamers, go have a good 15 minutes of schadenfreude. MMO fans, commisserate here. Understanding World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers [Cracked, thanks [...]
July 18th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Yeah fair enough and all but there are dicks,assholes,wankers, dickfaces and pervey wankshafts all over the internet and even in your fucking neighbourhood, I’m gonna go ahead and guess you are the neighbourhood fguy who is never seen leaving his house and on a rare occasion attends some sort of event, Your more than likely seen being carried in on a fucking truck.
funny stuff tho ill give you that and yeah more than enough of everything you said there is true. Love the fact that you like to describe everything and everyone who plays it as idiots and dicks which is more than partly true but then again if you sit in your house using mario bros to explain things you must be some kind of retarded or have no time on your hands.
Im assuming you must have played the game to give such a detailed account of it, If you did then that makes you a dick or a idiot (or mabye a combination of both?), if not, then why did you write about how much it annoys you? its not like your the only person who noticed the millions of twats who run around.
But yeah i applaud your work made me laugh fairly hard, And yes i am a dick, But i can admit it and i see no problem with being a dick to other dicks.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
[...] Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com xD Best wel grappig __________________ Even though you were raised as a human being, you are not one of them. They can be great people, Kal-El. If they wish to be. They lack the light to show them the way. For this reason above all–their capacity for good–I have sent them you. . .my only son Jor-El [...]
July 18th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Funny read. Assuming you have a sense of humor.
If you don’t and comment… well, you’re as retarded as the people he’s describing. Doesn’t matter if you play the game and know he’s wrong about certain things. Consider it a personal victory for you and just hold onto it. Keep that feeling inside.
There is a thing we call comedy. This person here, he’s hit it. If you like it, you like it. If you don’t… then don’t try to shoot it down because it makes you feel sad and irritated that you didn’t come up with something like this yourself. Or you could keep doing so and provide hours of entertainment for people like me.
Again: Funny stuff, you rock.
July 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR RAIDING AT LEVEL 11 GOSH!!
July 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
lol
I used to play WoW, and it is most definitely full of assholes. Not a bad game in itself, but having to deal with the prepubescent losers who plague the internet carries some obvious risks.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
“STFU and get ur moms dick out ur mouth faggit”
yup hes a wow player
July 18th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
STFU and get ur moms dick out ur mouth faggit
July 18th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Great job seanbaby but…
there’s no way you could make this article without some heavy research/assistance or actually playing the game you’re ripping on for many many hours.
You just hate WoW because you secretly love it!
July 18th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
[...] Cracked.com: Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers [...]
July 18th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Its awesome!!
July 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Before I read Seanbaby’s Learning with Super Mario Brothers I used to get into all kind of trouble.
I was addicted to crack cocaine…
Now thanks to Seanbaby I am clean and working as a mechanic overhauling 6-cylinder transmissions.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:08 am
If a kid does that when taught baseball, you then kill that kid. Fuck you Monty Python, every sperm isn’t sacred.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:39 am
My guild didn’t know I was a girl until I talked on Vent. I joke like a guy, I don’t make stupid emote faces, and I don’t post my pictures all over forums.
Girls using their femininity in a video game are possibly trying to compensate what they don’t have “IRL”.
July 18th, 2009 at 9:38 am
YOU ARE A DICK FACE!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:16 am
HURR DERP IMA GURL THET PLAEZ VID GEMS LOL!11one1!1one1!
I TALL OTHUR PEEPOL KUZ I AM A STEPID CEMHOR DURP
July 18th, 2009 at 8:53 am
First I want to tell you that all of my kids play WOW so does my husband, and my daughters father and his wife. There are also a few other people close to us that play it. I am the only smart person as I do not play. I have to tell you that I laughed my butt off when I read this. It was educational and humerous. I thank you greatly for writing this piece. I will be sharing this with everyone I know.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:18 am
You forgot to mention the elitist assholes who think everyone who doesn’t have gear as good as him is a worthless waste of human life. It seems like they’re trying to make up for having nothing accomplished in real life.
July 18th, 2009 at 3:55 am
[quote] For those of you unfamiliar with Mario Brothers, I urge you to leave, as I’m sure the other Communists will soon be wondering why you’re not harvesting the collective’s potatoes.[/quote] and
[quote] You can only sit in one place for so long before your DNA starts to think you’re a walrus. [/quote] …
two of the funniest things ive ever read
July 18th, 2009 at 3:12 am
If I had to describe the article in a word, it would be “amazing.” If I had to describe Seanbaby in a word, it would be “mandrogynous.”
July 18th, 2009 at 2:32 am
“penis breaks into dance”
That image is AWESOME.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:57 am
And as a side note, there are obviously more male players than female, but the same percentages apply to males as well just minus the good-looks-deception factor. 90% of guys are terrible at WoW. 9% are decent, and 1% are amazing. So I’m not making a sexist comment here.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Seriously 90% of the girl’s I’ve played with have been awful. Many of these girls claimed to be good looking or whatever, and I really just don’t care since I’m engaged to the hottest girl alive (mix megan fox, kate beckinsale, and angelina jolie). Out of the remaining 10%, 9% are decent at the game which is actually kind of cool since I generally think that the same proportion of males is actually okay at the game too. Mediocrity is not amazing, but its better than being a retard.
The last 1% is actually amazing at the game. These girls can be whatever they claim to be, since dumb WoW guys will believe them because of their female voices on vent. Maybe half of them are actually cute, but all of them will at least act like they are to get ahead.
My final verdict: keep it up girls. I don’t give a shit what you look like or how fucking awful you play. You are convincing tons of retards to waste time helping you or or talking to you thinking you are a hot chick. In the mean time, these idiots are too sidetracked to be involved in anything I am trying to do. Not to mention the fact that I get to laugh at a ton of horny geeks in guild chat and general chat talking about you and their disgusting and pathetic fantasies about you.
July 18th, 2009 at 1:20 am
I love this possibly more than I’ve ever loved anything on the Internet. And I’ve been playing WoW for three years!
July 18th, 2009 at 1:02 am
[...] is fundamental… not! A whimsical and light-hearted article about the World of Warcraft MMORPG includes this pithy quote: When you tell 25 people to go to The [...]
July 18th, 2009 at 12:14 am
I agree, nothing gets done in sex unless you have at LEAST five people. Seanbaby knows how to party.
July 18th, 2009 at 12:01 am
stop
July 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Why would you tell anyone anywhere over the internet that you are a girl?
People shouldn’t care if you are a girl who plays video games, but they do because A. that’s a friggin’ awesome thing that most guys don’t think really exists, and B. they are playing video games because they can’t get laid, or at the very very least can’t get laid right now.
I dunno if I were a girl I would never tell anyone in a game my gender. Like you say it just leads to babying, but also ass kissing, bad pick up lines, dozens of unwanted friend requests, plus not being able to understand what is going on because every guy in the game won’t shut up for the next 5 minutes.
There are girls out there who want to interact with teams through video games, but decide not to thanks to lonely, awkward man boys.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
michella, honey, it was a joke.
i’m a cute girl gamer too. think about it: not only can we see the world like women, we also have the benefit of understanding a male’s perspective.
and tits TOTALLY make up for failure. just sayin’.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
picklefishy Says:
Hey… I’m a girl
I play WoW
I’m NOT a virgin
I AM cute
—-
In every video game I play, every shooter, every Multi-player, i would rather be mistaken as a 12 year old boy, Because of that. Right there.
No one should care if you are a girl on a video game. But for some reason they always shout as loud as they can in text or Voice Chat. And usually they are very very bad. I hate playing games like TF2 and seeing a girl come on the team, then seeing the team lose because they baby her. Your tits don’t make up for your failures.
I am cute too, I model- and I also know that telling people I am a girl FOR NO FREAKIN REASON is just plain retarded.
Take that, bitches!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I’d leave a comment, but these damn Flippers…….
July 17th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I think I’m in love!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
The only ppl who hate WOW are those who can’t afford it…fufufufu.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Even though I don’t play video games, this is really funny and on target! My adult child plays WoW (whenever school or job don’t interfere) and I do hear cursing and screaming coming from her room. LOL
July 17th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
The thing you folks have to understand about humor is that it is often full of exaggerations. Stop trying to prove this guy wrong and give him the props he deserves.
Secondly, I’ve played both horde and alliance and if you have ever been to the barrens I don’t think you would be so quick to diss the alliance.
Thirdly, addressing picklefishy, there are no girls on the internet.
Great article ;-D
July 17th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Yea, half the people are douche and the other half are addicted.
July 17th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Hey… I’m a girl
I play WoW
I’m NOT a virgin
I AM cute
Take that, bitches!
July 17th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
its good to remember why i quit haha
July 17th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
You forgot the bigots, prejudice has found a way to permeate wow as well. People seem hate other classes like people inexplicably hate things that are different in real life. :X
Sorta sad.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Absolutely Perfect
July 17th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
some asshole here has the full tier 11 frog suit LOL
July 17th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Really amazing article , one of the most hilarious i’ve seen so far.
And i don’t play wow i took the 10 day trial once and ended up with the conclusion that it’s one of the most retarded games ever made.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Hahahaha i play WoW and its funny cause its so damn true… You hit the nail on the head over and over again…
July 17th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Hahahaha that’s epic and so true.
I think the worst part is my raid leader did the Lord Kaz’rogal speech like 4 times in one raid.
I liked the last picture personally.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
July 17th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I laughed. SO. Hard. This is totally dead on, and I laughed my ass off at all the conversations. Definitely my favorite from Seanbaby
July 17th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
As always, comedy gold delivered by seanbaby. Well done!
July 17th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
this is brilliant
July 17th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Anal [plumbing] in chat was a nice touch. Well done.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Totally spot-on. Especially the little commentaries in the art-work. lol
July 17th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
yeaaa… this is fucking hilarious.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.
Haha, your comparisons never fail to make me laugh!
July 17th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Nooo don’t scare away the non-retards. It’s hard enough as it is to find people with an IQ higher then their own age…
Anyways, brilliant! xD
July 17th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Wow. fantastic job.
This applies to not only WoW, but also City of Heroes.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Describing groups/raids was spot on. Awesome stuff.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Geez that was fkin funny, and as a lot before me said, spot-on …altho i play and i like wow.
As for the ppl saying he’s not funny … yer all tarts … that was feking brilliant.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I dont normaly comment since that seems to be a lame concept on the internet with all the retards everywhere, but I was impressed by this. So if the author reads this, just remember that I broke my routine of not being a dumbass internet commentator to say you kick ass.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I didn’t think this was funny at all. But the portrayal of wow was spot on.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Heh, I play a ton of WoW, and even still I find this hilarious. He more or less perfectly captured the feeling of trying to lead a pick up group through a raid (or a pack of noobs through an instance). Thankfully the incompetance thins out as you get to the harder stuff (by default since you had to be smart enough to gear up to that point) but its still a hilarious and true version of the aforementioned scenario. Aside from that, pictures are priceless.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
The pictures are priceless! If you don’t play the game, you probably won’t pick up on all the jokes, but they are there and they are spot on! Hilarious article!
July 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
wow. Spot on.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Seanbaby, get out while you still can! Cracked is where talentless internet hacks go to die! Hopefully they haven’t rammed you in the ass yet. Oh wait, they just did.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
A rare miss Sean. A few chuckles, nothing more. I’m usually trying hard not to get fired as I laugh my ass off on your articles. Then again, I don’t play WoW so maybe I missed something.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
LMAO! Funniest Cracked article I’ve read in a long time. Freaking awesome.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Spot freakin’ on! I fall under the “dick” category in WoW! YaY ME!
July 17th, 2009 at 11:59 am
From a hardcore WoW player, this article is totally spot-on.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:47 am
if you dont understand why hes making fun of all the funny things you say….then you just may be one of the douche bags hes talking about.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Seanbaby, you’re a retard, and far from funny.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:26 am
This article was not at all funny. I just didn’t get the whole Mario/WoW comparison at all. I loved the screen shots and the WoW portrayal was on the money but I just didn’t find the humor in it.
Seanbaby has made plenty of piss my pants funny articles but I personally don’t think this was one of them. Just my opinion…
July 17th, 2009 at 11:25 am
“During this part, you may want to take advantage of my “Learning with Super Mario Brothers” system for Overhauling 6-Cylinder Transmissions.”
You play a lot more video games than you do work on cars, right?
Transmissions don’t have cylinders, engines do.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:48 am
That has to be one of the best descriptions of WoW I’ve seen yet. Coming from A52-Horde side, I think the server meets most of what you’ve said here, about 80% of the time. If I could just use those 1-Ups to spawn decent raid members.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
huh…seanbaby is still around? Years back i thought the fake punk would have moved on to become the bassist for a blink 182 cover band. Imagine how i felt when i come across an article of his on digg!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Tell me that I’m not the only one who wants to play a shitty Mario side-scroller MMO now. Please God let someone make this real.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Tell me again how Mario can help me understand wow? I think im more confused now. 25 people in a dryer fight king Koopa for three prizes and then conk their heads together in unison repeatedly until only two are standing and get the prizes? Does my girlfriend have to play it with me? Why can’t you have sex with less than five people? The answers! Where are the answers!?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:39 am
[...] hey, Seanbaby still writes for the internet. Rad. This time it’s on Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers. (Note: vulgar and probably not amusing unless you play WoW.) Save and [...]
July 17th, 2009 at 9:14 am
lol so true
July 17th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Aha! Seanbaby wins again!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:49 am
I will admit, I laughed. A lot. However, I must say that people who harbor such hostility against the game and its players probably have something better to do with their time than spam negative comments on a blog that gives an inaccurate and generally bad review of the game and its nuances. Granted, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the amount of stupidity and brazen retardedness found in the comments section of this blog is just as bad, if not worse, than the dicks and idiots you find in WoW.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Been a LONG time since i didnt laugh that much at an article….
awesome
July 17th, 2009 at 8:29 am
I love this, great job! I laughed all morning.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Thank you for this. It is brilliant.
What WoW gamers don’t realize (Speaking as a reformed WoW gamer) is the game takes little to no skill. I learned this after I stopped playing and starting playing other (non-MMO) games. It made all the people bragging about their gear and dps even more retardedly funny. It’s like bragging about being really good at putting your pants on.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
[...] mentality, so that pretty much fell apart. Therefore, it is time I must be off again! So less of this, and for the moment at least, more EverQuest 2. The goal for EQ2 this time about is to take some [...]
July 17th, 2009 at 8:15 am
I play on the private servers. Why pay for it? Yeah you have to wait for the maintenance, but another server is still online from the same private server, so I can work on another character. I know, it’s still awful of me, but I play solo and have fun chatting with hackers who do use the realms as testing grounds. 4 years so far for me. Oh, and on private servers, Alliance is pretty much the same as Horde with angst filled gamers.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:12 am
tardcakes
July 17th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Fucking brilliant on the anal [Plumbing]
July 17th, 2009 at 7:55 am
The article was really funny. Not that World of Warcraft needs another article on the Internet pointing out how stupid it is.
The metaphors to Mario were pretty empty, though. The pictures were awesome, at least.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Haha, nice. Seans first few of articles were epic, the last couple have been a bit tl;dr at times, but this has restroed the awesome.
Good job, I lol’d so hard. Played it for about two weeks before quitting.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Hilarious! Those are some absolutely amazing metaphors, I was laughing my ass off.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hilarious and true.
I once installed the 14 day trial to see what the hype was about… uninstalled after about 3 hours.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:41 am
That was possibly the second most entertaining article I’ve read on this website all year.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:38 am
While the article is great, the people offended by it responding in the comments are fucking hilarious.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:18 am
OMG lmao.. that section pretty much describes Pugging on my entire server.. Esp that raid part!
July 17th, 2009 at 5:01 am
This is spot on. What pisses me off is that a lot of decent people who are great to group with get put off doing 5 mans and raids by the very dicks you mention, who do nothing but insult, ridicule and generally bully people out of progression. So you end up with great people giving up at the level cap and some fucking moron bigmouth dick swaggering around in his full tier 8 armour. I saw our whole guild of over 200 people disappear under an avalanche of insults and bullying from dicks who were no better than the people they forced out. I left the game after that because it’s never changed since it came out.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:40 am
I play wow and this is not really correct, but many things are. Then again, I play on the Eu servers and I think they´re slightly better
July 17th, 2009 at 4:29 am
Brilliant article. I am a gamer, of sorts, and played WoW for a bit. I learned very quickly that WoW is to gaming as the Twilight series is to good literature.
In response to Cindal:
Do you actually think you are the rule to the exception? It’s the other way around. Way, way, way the other way around. If you are all those things, and your friends, I can guarantee that there are thousands of fat asses planted in front of their monitors 8 hours a day…pale skin glistening with the meat sweats…faces lit only by the coloured glow of their LCDs….the smell of stale pizza and dried urine wafting around them…
July 17th, 2009 at 4:29 am
okay seanbaby you have redeemed yourself this was a pretty funny article..
July 17th, 2009 at 4:20 am
Good one…I’ve just got one question…
as i can see, you’ve obviously played wow yourself…
-You chose Alliance didn’t you…?
Ye that’s what i thought, coz alliance is filled with immature numbnuts saying “noob” and “lol” no matter what subject ya on , careless if it makes sense or not…
by the looks of it you’ve had some bad experience with Wow
July 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Awwww! Someone must have stole your “phat lootz”. LoL
Good points if you’re running with pugs, but otherwise not that funny. And not so funny if you really think only old men with big bellies, nasty beards with things living in them play WoW.
By the way, I know several people that play, raid, and have a good time. They also work full time jobs, go to school, stay in shape and have lives, not to mention they are people that are quite attractive, so your comments have little basis on fact.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Dude, this is totally awesome. Good job
July 17th, 2009 at 3:33 am
http://www.cracked.com/blog/understanding-the-world-of-warcraft-using-super-mario-brothers/#comment-98256
They make more sense once you take some of those dicks out of your ass.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:50 am
My god……I was laughing so hard I couldnt breath. One of your best yet, keep up the great work. I look foward to nearly dying of laughter again
July 17th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Okay……stop……….can’t….breathe…..can’t………dude…..OMG…..
Thanks for this gem seanbaby.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:01 am
CoH is basically like playing WoW but never getting out of the starting zone.
I loled at that and I don’t even now what CoH is!
At least I know wow now… and it’s sounds retarded!
lIFE AWESONE
( ME HIGH )
congrats
July 17th, 2009 at 1:55 am
That was just priceless, thank you for this.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:37 am
I play way too much WoW, and every bit of this article is truth. That is way I only play solo now. I keep my own retardeds to myself, and nobody gets theirs on me.
“See, this is why I play City of Heroes. It’s like all of the above, but with meticulously customised action figures and the game’s so easy even these troglodytes can have fun.”
That is also completely true. CoH is basically like playing WoW but never getting out of the starting zone.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:33 am
It’s obvious he’s embellishing at times, but the game is literally exactly like this when ever you’re doing a random group with people you know.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:29 am
This article should be called “Why you should play Horde”
because it has the alliance pegged.
OH NO I DIDN’T!
Yes I did.
But seriously. Things go waaay smoother on the Horde side, because we’re all awesome. We hear these horror stories all of the time about what goes on “over there” and then just shrug and go have more crazy fun. Vent DJ says dance.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:58 am
The little comments boxes kick ass! I swear I have had some of those conversations.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Nice one seanbaby, Friday morning has started well at work today!
July 17th, 2009 at 12:48 am
While I found the article funny, as with most of the stuff on Cracked, I felt it was just a touch bitchy.
There are a lot of n00bs, but you make it sound like we’re all retarded or summit
July 17th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Sadly, I’m pretty sure seanbaby must have played some wow in order to write an article that’s so spot on. Even sadder is the fact that I laughed my ass off because I do play wow. Now I’m gonna go waste more of my precious youth watching random fucktards epicly fail while spouting nonsensical Chuck Norris jokes.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:33 am
I do not enjoy the metaphors in this article at all. They are clumsy and make no sense.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:27 am
I agree full on with this article. although i suppose most of us come from a lengthy dosage of FPS. i enjoyed WoW for the brief time i played it, barring all dicks, retards, ass munches AND dicks.
One rogue i met thought he owned the damn world. So i put him in his place(i was a pally). also the amount of Noobery contained in 1/3rd of the raids i went on was amazing.
i also almost fell out of my chair for laughing so hard. keep up the good work.
and although i dont encourage this, there are plenty of free private servers for those that complain about the monthly fee.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:24 am
seanbaby, i think i love you.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:16 am
You could literally buy 4 brand new games a year for less than a World of Warcraft subsciption
July 17th, 2009 at 12:15 am
You dont need to hate wow to find this funny :), i play wow and i find this hilarious cause you actually see this with 90% of the people.
Great article x)
July 17th, 2009 at 12:00 am
@surlacher
You are a complete failure for mentioning a dane cook as something noteworthy.
This article caters to those of you who play wow, and for the rest of us, seems like a waste of time typing about an unimportant game.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
This is why I play EVE. It’s unappealing to anyone without a nerd boner for sci-fi and thus removes 90% of casual gamers, children, girls, and fucktards. So, it’s basically this only 10% the bumblefucks and with spaceships. LOL WOW SUX MY EPEEN
July 16th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
This is fucking hilarious! Thank god I never played wow, and never will.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I’ve never played a minute of WoW in my life but I knew enough about the game to laugh my ass off at this. Anyone that has commented on how unfunny/untrue this article probably IS the Dick/Idiot mentioned in the article.
Its kind of like that Dane Cook joke, everyone has a friend that nobody likes but if you’re in the audience saying that’s not true then you’re that friend.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
seven, that’s the most epic gaming fail I ever heard off.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
BIG FLOPPING NIGGERDICKS
July 16th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I laughed so hard at the image of the cows just leaning against an electric fense until they fried themselves. I know so many people like that 0.o
July 16th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
but seriously wow has alot of real life lessons such as it only takes one person to fuck it up for everyone else.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Damn you should of started when raids where 40 people now that was a monument to human failure. Guild leader: the boss will turn one of us into a bomb, if you are the bomb run away from everyone else and explode off by yourself. Random guild idiot: OMG I IS THE BOMB HALP HEALERS HALP MEEEEEE….runs to where all your healers are standing and explodes.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Hilarious great read, this could be applied to some of my Guild Wars experiences also! Nice one.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
THIS ARTICLE INSULTS ALL WOW PLAYERS. I DEMAND IT BE DELETED OR LEGAL ACTION MAY OCCUR.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
See, this is why I play City of Heroes. It’s like all of the above, but with meticulously customised action figures and the game’s so easy even these troglodytes can have fun.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I stopped playing WoW before WoTLK, but yeah, it’s obvious that you’re only describing pugging. Given the amount of dicks in most WoW guilds, you must have done something special to make none of them want you.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Seanbaby’s use of pics is where he shines I think.
This article made me laugh so fuckin hard.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Man, I just got back from a drama-fueled raid of pissed off grumpy people in need of some sleep (it’s 2 AM).
This is looking so freaking truthful right now.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I played WoW pretty hardcore for nearly 3 years in top end raiding guilds and as a 2k+ PvP player. You hit the nail on the head with a lot of these point, amazing. It took me about 20 minutes to read because I couldn’t stop laughing. I love how you compare explaining a fight to teaching your son to play baseball. I just canceled my account. A+ sir.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I laughed at this. A lot. It’s ridiculously spot-on.
@ Casualslol: But didn’tchya know that caps lock is cruise control for “cool”?
July 16th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
LOL SugarCane lighten up :P.
I’ve also experienced the occasional group that does know what they are doing and are not all pricks or idiots, but that doesn’t mean that this article isn’t hilarious. Especially since I’ve experienced plenty of the other kind of people on WoW -.-
July 16th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
thank you seanbaby for convincing me to quit wow
July 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
another well written article.
my nephew especially enjoys your articles, and reading a new one has become his only incentive to come sit in my lap in the study and spend some quality time in front of the monitor.
i will look forward to your next article with much anticipation.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
My favorite part was the Communist/potato gag.
And I agree with your outlook on WoW players. I had a relationship with a woman who i worked with once whose husband was a WoW addict of the dick/retard variety.
Then again, he was also twice my size, a cop, and did I mention the dick part? >.>
July 16th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
That’s not World of Warcraft, that’s pugging in WoW.
Seanbaby: get a good guild, and you’ll be with other people in the triple-digits
July 16th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Now if only the idiots would read this and understand they are retarded. And if only the dicks read this and realize they are also idiots, just ones who like to talk in ALL CAPS AND PRETEND THEY KNOW EVERYTHING.
Very funny read.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Another Warcrap related topic on Cracked that has really lowered my view on the human race in ways I never thought possible. Thanks alot!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I cracked the fuck up at meat toothpaste. Totally nonsensical article but also totally hilarious.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
I guess I didn’t have the same WoW experience as some of the other respondees. I had a pretty good guild who knew what they were doing, so I didn’t become embittered by the game.
And I guess because I wasn’t embittered, I don’t share their enthusiasm for this article. I didn’t think it was funny at all.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
heartily chuckled at this, bravo
July 16th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
OK, I see a lot of, “You just don’t understand…” people. Being that I do play, that I do have an active raiding toon, that I have cleared Ulduar, and that I also have a wife (who plays Holly Pally, and yes, I do blame her), I have this to say:
The author… is right.
90% of the community in WoW cannot play WoW and make the game worse by exponential amounts. The only reason 9 million of the 11 million people who play WoW are necessary is because you cannot have an intelligent gaming population and that the only way you could get groups like Nihilum or 23 November or SKGaming or whatever-the-F they’re calling themselves today is by having 11 million people to choose from. You can’t have 11 million retards in a game without a couple people signing up that can actually find the numbers 1-0 and who can mouse move.
/rant
July 16th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I am an avid WoW player and enjoyed this article very much because i have a sense of FUCKING HUMOR! POD, he obviously has played, and might still, but making fun of people who play is easy and hilarious so shut the fuck up please.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Started weak. Ended weak. But I was all giggles in the middle.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Meh. Good points, badly articulated. Shoulda compared it to daytime TV.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
For a guy bent on putting down wow players you sure do know a thing or two about the game. Beastmaster hunters and 25 man raids: things that players would know. Are you a dick or an Idiot?
July 16th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Honestly… more insightful and entertaining criticism comes from people who actually like the game week by week. This article could have been one sentence long and made precisely the same point, it really just seems like an excuse to use creative similes for large groups of stupid people.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
@Inughost
You fail to understand that because of the MASSIVE amount of players, WoW has to pay the big bucks for running and maintaining servers. Sure, the money made off game sales would work for awhile. Then they’d start losing money.
It’s either they charge, or you get a few servers, nearly no support, and patches about as often as the other battl.net games.
Most people don’t mind paying to have their game running with all the perks.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
First seanbaby makes me buy Sims 3, THEN he makes me NOT buy WoW. He has some freaky power over me, that’s kinda creepy.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Good stuff! __WealthyCupid.org __where you can meet the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. Hook up sexy partner easier and more effective! What are you waiting for? Just Sign up and hook up the sexy beauties now
July 16th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
So many reasons why I refuse to play this game, and yet one of the major ones is having to pay the monthly subscription. Honestly if you bought the game then you should be able to play it whenever you want for as long as you want without having to pay a fee. It’d be like having to pay money to use your own laptop or computer. The worst thing is the potential where every video game in the future will require you to pay more & more money just to play it. Within a year you could buy the game 3-4 more times.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
“Overhauling 6-Cylinder Transmissions”
Mr. Seanbaby:
Of course you understand that the cylinders contain the pistons and are part of the actual engine block, which is quite separate from the transmission components of every vehicle I have been acquainted with.
I can understand that you were reaching for an appropriately difficult analog here. I appreciate that. Nevertheless, I suggest that you confine those metaphorical attempts to chickens, scuba, and other matters less mechanical, such as slumber parties with high school girls.
By the way, I have noticed that other CRACKED writers have included in their contributions many more women with stars on their nipples than you have. Please include more of them. Thank you in advance.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I was at a slumber party in high school. The only guy with 7 junior and sophomore girls. It was 1982. They wanted me there to be their dungeon master so that they could play dungeons and dragons. I was all prepared to teach them, but it did not last long.
Is WoW like that?
July 16th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
“A five-man group in World of Warcraft contains one to five dicks and four to five idiots. ”
Parsimony. Excellent.
Seanbaby, you should be writing for presidents. Reading this makes me think that Mozart used too many notes.
I also liked the “Ur momz dick is in my eye”, but I am assuming that is not original.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
I recommend you a nice milionaire dating place __
C lassymingle C om__. Whenever I chat with my friends there I feel really relaxed and happy. They are easygoing and honest. Hope you can find more nice rich friends there. Good luck to you.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
This article was fantastic!
I am at work reading it so my outbursts of laughter made several people in the store turn their heads.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I’ve never played WoW, and I still found this article to be fucking hilarious! Awsome article!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
[...] Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com Great article about MMO players(aimed at Wow specifically) If you have a sense of humor, well worth the read. Last edited by Pencil; Today at 08:54 PM.. Reason: double post [...]
July 16th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Oh god now I don’t understand anything anymore!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Peed my pants. Twice.
Freaking hilarious!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Idk about all of you, but I’m always nice to ppl are usually nice to me. And if not, /ignore, and problem solved.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
[...] Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com Great article about MMO player(aimed at Wow specifically) If you have a sense of humor, well worth the read. [...]
July 16th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
You, my friend, have a gift.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
You forgot to mention a whole sub-group: those with head injuries (possibly incurred by bashing one’s head repeatedly against the keyboard waiting for the penny to drop during a boss-fight explanation). I worked in a group home and the people who lived there had NOTHING on some of the ppl I have encountered on Wow. I almost cried at the bag of chickens part…
Awesome!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
LMAO! literally… i laughed the whole time great read!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Goddamn Leroy Jenkins…
July 16th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Sums up my World of Warcraft end-game career pretty well. I remember our tank had to leave after beating the boss (who didn’t drop the shoulders I needed for my set). I was thinking ‘damn, now I’ve got to spend the next hour looking for a tank so we can run it again’ when it clicked.
I wouldn’t take this crap from any other game I own. If all beating a level in Call of Duty got me was a 1-in-10 chance to move on to the next level I’d bin it. Especially if the combat was as shallow as the average raid boss.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
pretty much spot on, so many ‘tards in WoW
July 16th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
As someone who played Warcraft for free for a total of 4 - 6 hours, I can say you hit the nails on the heads. LOL! Great article.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
uh…
you forgot about the furries and goatse.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
sorry this is tired
July 16th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
el oh effin el.
brillZ.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Very Funny, its the reason I don’t play it.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
i just noticed the sephiroth reference. you truly covered everything, sir.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
When you tell 25 people to go to The Caverns of Time, seven of them don’t know what that is, two of them aren’t playing anymore, one fell asleep in his pizza, two have to drive their kids to therapy, one tells you to shut the fuck up, four are rebooting their computers, one is getting kicked off by his parents, two are lost foreigners who thought this was the train station, one is pressing enter on the same Chuck Norris joke over and over, two of them tell everyone to go to three different places and one is your girlfriend bitching at you about how much this sucks.
That’s pretty damn funny.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
This was amazing! Where can I send my check to continue supporting Seanbaby and further this well deserved WOW bashing?
July 16th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
pepper needs new shorts
July 16th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Warcraft has an ending like a fat burglar finishes dinner in a Twinkie factory. He’s kind of only done until he has the energy to open his mouth again.
l o fucking l
well done seanbaby, you glorious faggot.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
For once I actually enjoyed a seanbaby column, keep up the nice work.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
hahHAHhahaHaHAhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHhohoho
July 16th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Errr, you kinda sound like someone who failed at a failing game for failures.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Wow, you pretty much just explained everything I’ve been thinking about that game for the past couple of months. Perfect entry.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Nope, sorry. WoW does indeed suck ass. Yet I still play it, probably due to apathy.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I play .So true ! So funny
July 16th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I demand more like this!!!!!!!!
Thank you for the entertainment seanbaby.
penis breaks into dance.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Bravo!
July 16th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
scockon, I’m not saying you’re an oblivious retard, but…
….no wait, that’s what I’m saying.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
ive not played it but i thought it was fucking hilarious
July 16th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Perfect. WOW SUCKS ASS
July 16th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
That was pretty funny… now it’s time to log back in and grind some honor points.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I liked it quite a lot…
btw: who kissed the method in the asshole
July 16th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Too long, not enough funny. Which is a shame, it -could- have been hilarious, as it stands all it does is seem to regurgitate the usual, ‘fat nerds, no social skills, life wasting, endless frustration yadda yadda’. Which, to be fair have been there since the first MMOs…so it’s probably some kind of indicator that nothings really changed. x)
July 16th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
WoW is a good game… up the point your level is too high and you have to enter guilds to make progress to get the high end gear. Then it’s just tedious and painful for all the reasons mentioned here. That’s exactly it, the combinaison of repetition (spend an evening for a 8% chance (or less) to get the item that you need) and dealing with other people will ruin it.
Seanbaby could have added a few more sections just on Guild Dynamics…
July 16th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
That was pretty darn hilarious if you ask me, and a lot of this article is actually pretty accurate.
While there are a lot of nice and/or competent people in WoW, there are a huge amount of idiots and/or dicks.
If I ever pug (rarely now) raids there are always a good chunk of idiots that, no matter how many times you remind them not to stand in the purple circle of death, they will still sit there without any attempt to move out of it.
Then there are the dicks who will go out of their way to /spit on people or feel it is their responsibility to point out every little flaw in your talent spec and how bad you suck, or will just shoot down a random stranger in trade chat for being glad they won a rare item or leveled or what not.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Its a little harder then that but your pretty much spot on at the retard bit ^^ the main reason why i quit, the retards overcrowded the game.. like zombies really
July 16th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
My least favourite WoW players are the ones that have made the game an inhospitable enviroment for anyone who makes a female character.
It’s actually both hilarious yet really sad and unbelievably disturbing to see these probably prepubescent boys hitting on what they think is a girl. There’s nothing like watching really inward basement-bred losers attempting to flirt to make you feel good about your own weekend bar failures.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Hilarious!
July 16th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
/clap
this was great if you got mad at this your the players he was talking about
July 16th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Of course, the one aspect that wasn’t mentioned was the fact that while you’re going through all this, you’re PAYING FOR IT MONTHLY. It comes off as a finely-done game, just a shame that the sort of people that play WoW . . . play WoW.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
[...] the other Communists will soon be wondering why you?re not harvesting the collective?s potatoes. link __________________ Earl of Sammich! I’ll make you a MASTER of [...]
July 16th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
fuck you seanbaby, just do it already!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Sadly it’s pretty much all true… Though I must say that, having started on a pvp server, and since switched to a pve server, the douchebaggery has decreased by a very large percent. It’s still very abundant, but not nearly as bad as before.
I especially must agree with the point about simple instructions needing to be repeated for 40 minutes, and even then half the raid does something stupid… It’s even worse when you’re the raid leader who is trying to organize all these dumbasses, so you can actually get on with it and not spend all night on the same damn boss.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Well, I still don’t understand Wow… you could have just said, “Leeroy, you are just stupid as hell. And Mario thinks so too. The end.”
July 16th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
heh, probably the worst piece of shit i have ever read when it comes to describing a gaming community. Written by someone who was never a part of a high quality end game raiding guild. I on the other hand am in one. We raid about 2 times a week clear everything in that one night, and that’s about all i touch the game besides alts. Basically everything that is written above is about the equivalent of me busting out an article on making building a real working time machine after watching back to the future and jerking off to Einstein’s photo… terrible
We all come from fps’ games as well you know real ones not like halo rofl.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
—In WoW, danger is often preceded by a lengthy warning celebration. For example: You are a HntrPhüc, Beastmaster Hunter, shooting arrows into an ogre. It grunts, “I am throw a rock at you!” A dark shadow marks the area where the rock will fall, and a bar appears under the ogre’s name slowly counting down a spell called, “There is a Fucking Rock Falling On Your Head.”
Rarely ever do you get such a warning, but AoE attacks/spells are still pretty easy to step outside of.
The majority of everything else was prettymuch on the money though. Lols.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
“This article reads as if you spent a day in Barrens around a bunch of mouthbreathers that bragged about soloing Malygos’”
The author’s real character is named Thundermixer on US server Darrowmere. Feel free to check him out on wowarmory or be.imba. He usually leads in damage in Ulduar 25. I ran with him in Naxx 25 and I think his dps as a rogue was just a hair over 5k. To me, the article reads like an eruption of frustration over idiots like you.
BTW, Thundermixer is the name of the Hulk Hogan licensed blender.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I’m not trying to defend WoW although I do play, but this wasn’t very funny. Seems like something like WoW has a lot of potential for funny cracked articles and this one just fell short.
Still referring to the oldest, most played-out game in history when making fun of a new game is pretty lame.
What is this, 19 hundred and something?
July 16th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
“clearly one of the people who are bad at WoW.”
‘Kay, I’m not going to get in a huge argument over this, but when I said I solo’d and didn’t do raids, it’s because 1) they tend to be invites from noobs who have yet to learn the inner workings of Icecrown(or for that matter, get the expansion pack), 2) I usually end up in a group that makes me do all the work while they stand back and… I dunno, shove plungers up their asses. And 3) the items are crap, the bosses are too easy, and for my level 80 Hunter, I need more of a challenge than that.
So, little clarification. And I won’t argue any further.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
It’s all pretty true. xD I play WoW on occasion, and although there are lots of nice people… there’s a fuck-ton of stupid people, too.
Also, being generous, 1 out of every 7 people can spell, and everyone picks Death Knight. :< And then tries to rape you as soon as you get to Darkshore, because fuck newbies.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
It’s all pretty true. xD I play WoW on occasion, and although there are lots of nice people… there’s a fuck-ton of stupid people, too.
Also, being generous, 1 out of every 7 people can spell, and everyone picks Death Knight. :< And then tries to rape you as soon as you get to Darkshore, because fuck newbies.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
mencia’s guild name suspiciously cut off ….WIN.
seriously, every one of these screenshots are GOLD.
I can’t list everything that cracked me up (like drunk toddlers in a dryer..and Warcraft cows), but this entire thing was so incredible.
It also expertly conveys the very reason I cancelled my WoW account this month. Good riddance.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Generic Positive Comment, Seanbaby.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I loved the pictures.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
@Anja — Screaming “LOOK HOW COOL I AM!!!!” won’t make it true. Nothing in this article intimated WoW players were perennial virgins and basement-dwellers. (My old granny always said, “A bit dog hollers first…”) Fucktards, yes, especially if you’re stuck with PUGs.
I’ll see your position on the IBTC and raise you two D’s :p
For the Horde!!!!!!!!!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 11:27 am
“Meh, usually I like Seanbaby, but that didn’t do it for me. The Mario just kinda felt really crowbarred in at times, as if a funny article about WoW was already written and someone had come along and said “Hey, you know what’d make this even FUNNER?”’
Uh, yeah. Cracked pretty much always has a twist on everything they write.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Holy shit this was good. I don’t even know which quote I will choose to endlessly annoy my friends yet.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:23 am
This was hilarious lol
July 16th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I never played WoW, but I’ve played my fair share of MMORPG’s (Runescape, Maplestory, Rappelz) and you hit everything spot on. Nice work seanbaby, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:19 am
HILARIOUS
July 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I was about to say “Awesome, seanbaby, one of your best articles yet”, but the comments take the prize. Hilarious.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:16 am
AWESOME! I LOLed a few too many times at work.
Anyone else see Anal [Plumbing] in the last pic?
geez the Anal joke is on every server isn’t it?
July 16th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Random wow player #2135135 said it had tits…… man tits me thinks
July 16th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Amazing article.
This article basically sums up why I avoid grouping or playing with other players in any game.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I DO play WoW and this is so true it’s hilarious. I was in a 25-person raid group the other day going up against a boss named Thaddius. On this boss, you’re either positive or negatively charged. If you’re positive, you stand on the right, if you’re negative, you stand on the left. When your charge changes, you switch sides, circling around the boss in a counter-clockwise direction. This is considered to be one of the most complicated fights in that instance. I spent 40 MINUTES explaining what COUNTER-CLOCKWISE looked like. I then had to explain the difference between RIGHT and LEFT. AND THEY STILL GOT IT WRONG. After the fourth wipe I was running around in a circle counter-clockwise yelling “THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. YOU JUST DO THIS.” We never got him down.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I just don’t understand some of the commentary from people about the topic of the article.
Sure, I’m a long-time player of wow. SO, but reading that statement you automatically think I’m a nerd with no life and I sit in my mother’s house complaining about the food being horrible while playing a video game 22 hours straight in a day and let’s not forget that virgin part.
WRONG! I don’t understand why people automatically have a stigma that because you play wow you have no life and you’re forever a virgin. I know plenty of people who have kids, go to school, and many of them I know from real life and we play as another way of staying in touch. But on top of all of this, I’m a pre-med student earning a BS in Biology and a minor in studio art, I am certainly not a virgin (yay boobs… I love my boobs, and so does my wow-playing fiancé)… but back to the point at hand… Sure I raid four nights a week… sure I have two epiced out 80’s… but because I’M having fun getting laid and raiding in a top 10 guild on my server, it doesn’t mean I’m failing out in Barrens Q.Qing because someone (or rather 4 other people) won’t help me run Wailing Caverns…
July 16th, 2009 at 11:01 am
“For me, this means not doing raids(boo hoo, I can get the items at the auction house)”
clearly one of the people who are bad at WoW.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:58 am
anal [Plumbing]
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yep. Welcome to WoW!
July 16th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Thank god I worked out a plan to avoid this kind of thing in Warcraft:
SOLO. EVERYTHING.
For me, this means not doing raids(boo hoo, I can get the items at the auction house), not joining guilds or teams, turning down invites to certain dungeons (Blackrock Spire? Who the FUCK do you think I am?!) and most of all, when somebody tries to talk to me, I immediately ignore them. I don’t have many friends on Warcraft, but hey, they probably were going to be assholes anyhow, so no skin off my back.
I found this article really fucking funny. Seeing things in Mario perspective makes me think of how I’m glad that I’m not a WoW-tard.
…Don’t ask me what that means. The article describes it already.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Only WoW/former WoW players will get this…
but they’ll love it hahaha.
A+
July 16th, 2009 at 10:44 am
“Then you clear the first stage while she flails her hands in front of the screen and the game rewards you with, “Game Over. Your little sister earns 200 points. Would you like to RESTART GAME or QUIT?”
ROFL!!! The best description of the WoW loot system to date. It should be dedicated to all the people in full 8.5 that can’t do 5k deeps.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I don’t really see how this is teaching anything through SMB, which is a shame because if it’s possible to teach anything through SMB I’ve got some serious potential
July 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
this articles fuckin great
July 16th, 2009 at 10:38 am
I’ve never played WOW but this was still hilarious
July 16th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I don’t see Labia in my Atlasloot. Does she drop anything for enhancement shamans?
LMFAO!!
July 16th, 2009 at 10:34 am
This describes a good 75% of how I felt during the four years I played WoW. Even in guilds, it was one cascade of morons after another with no end in sight. Well, until I got into one of the better guilds on my server, but even then the game was hardly devoid of idiocy.
Awesome article.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:34 am
So glad I quit wow so this article could no longer hurt my feelings. Thanks
July 16th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@ # Random wow player #2135135
Having tits doesn’t automatically make you hot.
And being a WoW player, if you’re anything like the ones I know, you’re not hot.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:14 am
I don’t want to play a game where you can’t beat the end boss without begging for help from fifty Koreans. Much like I don’t like games like Ghost Recon where you have to spend four hours hiding in a box so a farmer with a rake half a mile away doesn’t kill you instantly.
If I wanted to suck at something, I would do it in real life.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Random WoW player is who this was written for haha. Great article SB killed it again had me laughing like crazy
July 16th, 2009 at 10:07 am
This seems more like a pick up group than a standard raid (with a raiding guild). Still a good laugh.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Ahh, one great time I was in a group that decided to abandon me halfway through what we were doing.
Thanks, dickheads.
WoW can be an awesomely addictive game if you either solo everything or else just play with friends.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I get the feeling you actually play WoW. ^-^;
Nice.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:02 am
As a wow player i’d just like to say, that the above was written in the perspective of someone who’s jealous that they can’t get in to a good raiding guild. If i had to pug Mana Tombs, i’d be pissed too, that place sucks, but srsly, pandemonius is the biggest pussy in there. 25 man ulduar, however is where it’s at (right now). This article reads as if you spent a day in Barrens around a bunch of mouthbreathers that bragged about soloing Malygos. But wtv. i’ll keep getting my phat loots while you’re still trying to pug Hogger on your lvl 1 gnome twink. Oh yeah, i also have tits. Did i just blow your mind? hmm… probably not:(
July 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Oh slam! Well said, and eerily correct.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Yep! HAWT! http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=23&sku=E-CD00260 I’m in LUV!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:51 am
awesome
July 16th, 2009 at 9:46 am
And this is why I’ve been a fan of Seanbaby’s articles since GMR Magazine
July 16th, 2009 at 9:45 am
” As for the other 10 people, hey, they didn’t know you fuckers were starting.”
that was the best part
July 16th, 2009 at 9:39 am
seanbaby is teh comedians
July 16th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Seanbaby obviously lost interest while writing this article, but he still did a damn good job. He’s still struggling to live up to the standard that he set with his brilliant article about The Sims, though.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:34 am
I play WoW, and at first i expected this to be just a massive, irritating rant from a guy who’s incredibly pissed off with the game in a number of ways, which i must admit, instantly annoyed me.
But every single point is so goddamn true that i feel the need to quit WoW forever.
Awesome article.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Yep, that’s spot on.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:20 am
This is by far my favorite article on Cracked. i laughed the whole way through
July 16th, 2009 at 9:18 am
This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:17 am
It’s funny because it’s true! (I too play WoW)
July 16th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Ha. I hate doing a raid and keep rolling nothing higher than a 53… I hate you Blizzard.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I hate MMORPGS.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Drunk Naxx formula:
Get 10 80s
lots of alcohol
For every boss down drink one beer
For every boss wipe take a shot
Everytime the raid wipes on trash take two shots
If the raid wipes on Noth drink the whole bottle.
Make sure you have vent for this! Also be prepared for a three hour Kay-tee!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:04 am
As someone who plays and enjoys WoW on a regular basis, I have to say this article is fucking brilliant. Best article I’ve seen on Cracked in a while. Good job Seanbaby!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Here’s your Warcraft! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1292175/ BOOM!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:00 am
This article is basically all true.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:53 am
LEROYYYYY JENKINS!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I laugh, I cried. Bravo. Bravo forever.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:46 am
great article
July 16th, 2009 at 8:37 am
i don’t play warcarft because i like to have sex occasionally but this was pretty damn funny.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:34 am
eh, WoW still isn’t bad, some people just give it worse reputation than it deserves because either 1) they never played but automatically hate games more popular than theirs, 2) played it, got to 60 or 70, 80, … the current cap, but weren’t catered to what they want, 3) went they went into a place with fucktards it’s their fault but they blame others/the game, and 4) it wasn’t their cup of tea but act like a 1 yr-old who didn’t get his bottle (i know this because i have to take care of a 1 yr-old demon :/ )
The smarter people who didn’t like it just ignore it. I personally liked the game and got a DK up to 80, had fun in Wintergrasp and admittedly it got boring due to the fact i knew no one smart enough to put together a coherent raiding force capable of killing anthing in Naxxramas. : P
July 16th, 2009 at 8:34 am
[...] that are disgruntled ex-WoW players, I thought you guys would enjoy the latest Cracked article. Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers | Cracked.com It does not disappoint. __________________ Aion. It gives you wings. Liv, will you marry [...]
July 16th, 2009 at 8:27 am
This is probably the most hilarious cracked article I’ve ever read. Kudos big time. Fucking hilarious man.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing, and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way, and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible
The last computer game I played probably was Super Mario on my SNES? So I’ve no idea about WoW, but this article made me have to really hold onto my wee haha - funniest thing on here in ages
July 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am
kek!
July 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am
This is all true in normal WoW, now I treat your imagination to a worst doom scenario: PIRATE WoW servers, where everything said in this articles is multiplied tenfold, but adding unstable servers, sudden breakdowns, rollbacks, buggy instances, instant 90….you get the idea.
Playing DotA against the AI, without a mouse, in a VGA screen, in a damp basement for all eternity is STILL better than a month of that hell.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Meh, usually I like Seanbaby, but that didn’t do it for me. The Mario just kinda felt really crowbarred in at times, as if a funny article about WoW was already written and someone had come along and said “Hey, you know what’d make this even FUNNER?”
Can’t help but think it probably would’ve worked better as a straight out idiots guide to WoW or perhaps a more general “Understanding WoW using classic video games”, with Mario as one of several examples, to give a bit more scope for comparison.
But that’s just me.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:08 am
This is a masterful description. For those of you who didn’t like the article or were annoyed that you had to have played WOW to really enjoy it, well that’s only 11 MILLION FUCKING PEOPLE, all social degenerates living on the web where guess what Cracked.com posts articles so yeah it definitely hits the target audience. Favorite line: “Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.” Yes they do, absofuckinglootly boggles the god damn brain how some of these fucktards managed to figure out button technology well enough to turn on a computer.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:05 am
seanbaby is consistently the funniest writer on Cracked. This was great!!! Not to mention an example of “it’s funny because it’s true”.
Anyone who doesn’t laugh has either (a) never even seen WoW or (b) not seen the world outside of it in waaaay too long.
July 16th, 2009 at 8:00 am
This was pretty damned brilliant.
“…tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop” and “Getting a WoW group to do anything together is harder than getting a bag of chickens its SCUBA certification” had me laughing my ass off.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:51 am
While it’s not impossible to accomplish end game objectives…you really have to have one loud mouthed raid leader that doesn’t put up with shit.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Haha really really funny, and so true.
Made my week.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:40 am
“Imagine you’re trying to teach your son to play baseball. You teach him the rules, how to throw, how to swing, and when you tell him to go for it, he throws the ball into the side of his own head, runs the wrong way, and tries to sell a blowjob to an undercover cop. Warcraft players fail in directions you never thought possible.”
i laughed so hard, mall security asked if i was ok
July 16th, 2009 at 7:31 am
The horrible thing about WoW is that no matter how many normal people you surround yourself with, which for me is fellow engineering students and married couples, all capable of following directions, somehow a 7 year old always manages to get in your shit. They refuse to use the voice chat programs like Ventrillo (reveals their age) but end every sentence like this?!!?!! and somehow manage to fall in every hole, do the exact thing that kills everyone in a big fight… and I suppose luckily will believe any nonsense you spew at them for your own amusement.
Another thing, women playing WoW isn’t terribly uncommon now but jeez, every time a feeding frenzy starts when some guys hear my voice, or any other female, on Vent it makes me want to shoot someone.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:26 am
If you want to succeed at WoW, you must first accomplish three things.
• Get rid of your girlfriend. (Don’t get another one.)
• Quit your job. (Don’t get another one!)
• Tell your friends to piss off.
Now you should have the perfect environment in which to perfect your skills, and learn how to manage enormous groups of dipshits in the pursuit of imaginary magic-wear.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:24 am
This has truly taught me what it’s like to play WOW, which I am proud to say I never have. And never will.
This is truly inspired.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:24 am
This is pretty much the reason I am playing solo most of the time, most of the people who play are twitchy fucks who don’t know how to play and ask me a hundred questions that they could get answers themselves if they just read a window that is just a click away.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I liked it. Nice job.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Seanbaby’s first funny article - This was awesome.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:17 am
I find it amusing that a lot of posts here agree and lol and love the article, but not one post is admitting to be the noob-tard that is so reviled. It seems the data does not fit the article or some of you are lying!
July 16th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Eric, pugging basically means doing a raid with a PUG (Pick Up Group).
No it’s not like date rape, more like group sex in the gay bar’s bathroom on a Saturday night
July 16th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I’m a gamer but have always shunned WoW. But really, to appreciate this article all you have to do is youtube “Leroy Jenkins” and watch the South Park Episode “MAke love, not warcraft” (emmy-award winning actually). Then your all set for this.
Also, I greatly enjoyed the SMB analogy. I wouldn’t mind an extra lesson in the future, perhaps understanding the phenomona that is Xbox live with SMB? Or wouldn’t that just be a more annoying and offensive version of Wow?
July 16th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Norlak, I doubt 75% of the people who will read the comment section will know what you are talking about.
Pugging Naxxramus?
Is that like date rape in WoW?
July 16th, 2009 at 7:07 am
I liked your article, especially the part about WoW players having the cognitive abilities of a turnip. The greatest challenge of a raid guild leader is getting your retards to function correctly. That or finding enough players who dont have cerebral palsy and uniting them under the same guild crest. (good luck with that)
WoW is not a difficult game from a technical point of view but the mental rigidity of the average WoW player is at times astonishing. The most blatant example I can think of right now is Thaddius. If you’ve ever pugged Naxxramas you know what I’m talking about.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:04 am
“GO get some poon” -gimpmonster
Yeah, and I suppose you’re drowning in a plethora of poon, right?
“This was a very retarded article. It’s just not funny. You need to get some funny material or get the Hell outta Cracked”-Jimmy Donahue
Details, please. No one is going to take your comment seriously when you all you say is “it just sux cuz i sed so!1!!1″
As someone who has never played WoW, never seen anyone playing WoW, and will NEVER play WoW, I STILL thought this article is funny. However, I disagree with one point you tried to make:
“WoW isn’t like other nerd things. You can theoretically never see Star Wars, but during your every day life you’ll pick up a basic understanding of what a Chewbacca is.”
This isn’t entirely true, as I was still able to get most of the jokes, but that may be because of the fact I have played other MMO’s, so I know what to expect.
Good article, as always
July 16th, 2009 at 7:03 am
I am going to send this article to the official WoW fanclub at school.
hopefully section 5 will appeal to their senses, and encourage them to get a life outside of the 7 people in the club.
also I hope that they will stop going around in WoW merchandised gear and fake swords in the hallways pretending to be overlord of the people in marching band. It’s not cool to start hitting a drum with a foam axe over and over again, because it sounds similar to the Evil Drums Of Decapitated Skulls From Former Level 5 Paladins.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:00 am
@ Gilli:
“pewning nomes”? Awesome, let’s be friends…
July 16th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Wow this was great! I was laughing the whole time, I loved this article!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:58 am
It depends what 5 man he did, and what level the rogues are…I bet you could totally pull off certain instances with all rogues, NOT lvl 80 but the correct level for the instance.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:54 am
LoL~
Check out
**B l a c k W h i t e L o v i n g -c O m ***
where they hate hot girls and big woman~!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:53 am
It IS funny because it’s true.
And 40 man raids are still lfail, just got to a battleground. There you get 3 spotty faced 15 year old armchair generals each issuing different commands to the remaining pack of fuckjtards, who fall into one of the following groups.
Of that, a few will be glory hound heroes, who only want to get quests and objectives completed and don’t give a fuck about winning the battle. 5 or 6 will be afk honour sponges who have ALT TAB’ed out to jerk off over a “Twilight” screenshot. There will of course be a handful of noobs who constantly ask annoying questions, then have a /rant when they get pwned and end up quitting the battle, and the rest will flock together and end up following each other into the welcoming arms of the other teams oblivion.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:52 am
This is so fucking bang-on that it’s looped past “funny”, bounced off “scary”, and then went all the way to “awesome”.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:50 am
One of the best articles I’ve ever read. Great job.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:46 am
ok, thats the awesome, i mean, definately, people who plays a lot and arent retarded yet, can recognize MANY things in this, trust me…
July 16th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Not as good as your Sims article, but a close second.
“You can only sit in one place for so long before your DNA starts to think you’re a walrus.” — This line had me laughing out loud. Srsly.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:41 am
No crap he’s having trouble in a 5man if he brings all rogues.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:41 am
I watch my boyfriend play WoW all the time and I gotta say, this sounds pretty accurate! I found it rather amusing!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Having played WoW myself for at least 4 years, I can testify that everything written in this article is 100% true.
You thought 25 man raids were bad? Can anyone still remember 40 man raids to Molten Core with a ragtag team of retards who just joined the guild yesterday with false hopes of raiding glory?
July 16th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Bloodstained armor is Guild Wars Necromancer gear! Sheesh!
Awesome article! And so very, very true… Good job!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:30 am
This was a very retarded article. It’s just not funny. You need to get some funny material or get the Hell outta Cracked.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:20 am
I have a feeling gimp is one of the WoW dicks described by this article. And his feelings were hurt.
Kudos Seanbaby, you couldn’t have hit the nail on the head more perfectly.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Best one so far Seanbaby!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Come on seanbaby…sometimes your articles lick choad. This was one of those times. What’s next? Explaining intercourse using the Sims. GO get some poon
July 16th, 2009 at 6:09 am
As a WoW player I have to say that all that was…. well, it was pretty accurate. Kudos!
July 16th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Yeah PuddleofAids is totally trollin. Best to ignore.
But anyway, great article!!! I’m sending it to all my friends who play WoW!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:56 am
Marry me.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Fucking brilliant dude. Laughed my ass off.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:54 am
I have too much of a social existence to to play that idiotic game.
But non the less this article was great and i can surely relate to that thing about people describing it.
When someone goes on talking about something like “pewning nomes” (or something) i feel an unsettling urge to kill something.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:52 am
This was someone else hurt themselves funny!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:51 am
What’s a World of Warcraft?
July 16th, 2009 at 5:50 am
No one else has commented on the pixel art?
C’mon. That must’ve taken some kind of effort to make an 8 bit HUD similar to WoW.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:49 am
Awesome, now I just need to study your “Learning Female Human Anatomy with Super Mario Brothers” course and I’ll practically be a normal member of society!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:48 am
#4 Very good description of the frustration it is to be a raid leader.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:45 am
“Overhauling 6-Cylinder Transmissions” Sign me up! lmao. This was great. I’ve never played WoW but I still cried laughing at this.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:44 am
lmao its all so true
July 16th, 2009 at 5:44 am
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don’t play multiplayer games.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:42 am
I also really enjoyed how PuddleOfAids tries to be funny/snarky, but is A)neither, and B)fucktarded.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:40 am
Awesome article, Seanbaby.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:40 am
This article is obviously made for WoW players. Far too many things that only someone who’s played WoW could appreciate the humor in.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:40 am
I sincerely loved this. Good show.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:39 am
“No shit? Don’t touch the glowing death field? Because I figured I’d drop my pants and back into one of the punishing tendrils of dark energy, asshole.”
That line brought tears of unbridled joy to my eyes. Unbridled. Fucking. Joy.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:37 am
I love playing Warcraft 3 and its expansion, but WOW scares me. I’ve read cracked enough to stay away from bad games. We need to photoshop contest Insert any character you want into WOW. My first choice is godzilla.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Uck…..that was tenfold cunty factor. You should publish “Learning with Super Mario - Shoving Your Dick Into a Meat Grinder”. It would probably be much more entertaining and intuitive than that article. I do have to admit, the cow bit…..douche chills……douche bumps all over my body. Good job ace! I officially stamp it: EPIC FAIL! Sorry der Chet, better luck next time.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:34 am
You had me going, till you mentioned the possibility of a WoW player maintaining a girlfriend who’s only complaint is “The raid sucks”.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:33 am
I loved the comments xD You must have played WoW at least once to be able to describe it that accurately though!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:33 am
Thank you Seanbaby, Thank you.
That’s from the heart, yo.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:31 am
This is really really neat. and great. And rad in not an ironic sense.
Um, do this also fit for EVE and Warhammer Online?
July 16th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Very funny man! I thank The Burger King every day that neither myself or any of my friends are big enough losers to play that stupid game
July 16th, 2009 at 5:26 am
WOW describes the old axiom “if you want to do something slowly and inefficiently do it in a commitee.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:26 am
FAIL!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:25 am
FIRST!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:22 am
This article is almost entirely true. Really outlines the futility of the whole thing very well.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:18 am
this was awesome, you completely described what it is like to play WoW