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My award-winning "Learning with
Super Mario Brothers" system has helped thousands of children get their plumbing and pizza-making degrees, and is the leading cause of turtle extinction. You're welcome. Now the power of this educational program can be used to achieve something that was at one time impossible: understanding
World of Warcraft. You might be asking, "How can one video game help explain another?" If you are, please turn to section
)*) to kiss my learning program on the ass and butthole. Everyone else, let's continue.
WoW isn't like other nerd things. You can theoretically never see
Star Wars, but during your everyday life you'll pick up a basic understanding of what a Chewbacca is. However, if you never played
World of Warcraft, listening to someone talk about it sounds like senseless and frightening gibberish. I think it was Kipling who described it as, "To the average man, another speaking on
Warcraft sounds not unlike a rapist Chewbacca acting as his own defense attorney." That's why my system utilizes
Super Mario Brothers, the universal video game language. For those of you unfamiliar with
Mario Brothers, I urge you to leave, as I'm sure the other Communists will soon be wondering why you're not harvesting the collective's potatoes.
Section One: Idiots ![]()
The first thing you should know is that most people playing
World of Warcraft are terrible at video games, especially
World of Warcraft. Every Nintendo owner has encountered the following scenario: You hand over the controller to a friend and then watch them clumsily murder Mario with the same bottomless pit until he stops coming back to life.
World of Warcraft is an
entire society of these people. In
WoW, danger is often preceded by a lengthy warning celebration. For example: You are a HntrPhüc, Beastmaster Hunter, shooting arrows into an ogre. It grunts,
"I am throw a rock at you!" A dark shadow marks the area where the rock will fall, and a bar appears under the ogre's name slowly counting down a spell called,