Charity is a good thing. That's true in theory, at least. But like anything else in life, it's rife with scandal and corruption. The news is riddled with stories of misappropriated funds and dishonest bookkeeping, so much so that it barely registers as news anymore. However, that's not the only way charity can go awry. Sometimes it's just downright offensive. We talk about some of the most egregious examples of condescending or otherwise awful charity efforts on this week's Unpopular Opinion podcast ...
5Evander Holyfield Fights Mitt Romney
The Internet was aflutter with giggles last week when the news broke that former presidential candidate Mitt Romney squared off with former Mike-Tyson-ear-biting victim Evander Holyfield in a charity boxing match. Most of the jokes centered around the fact that Romney was shirtless and how Holyfield was undoubtedly in dire financial straits to accept a gig of that nature.
Sure, all of those things are true, and I'll admit it is kind of funny to watch, but am I the only one who finds it all a bit ... uncomfortable?
Here's the thing: This happened in Utah, a state whose population is somewhere around 60 percent Mormon. Romney is also a Mormon. With all that taken into consideration, it's safe to assume there were more than a few Big Love types in the audience.
Stupid religion, great show.
Now, what do we know about Mormons and black people? Enough that the topic has its own Wikipedia page. Blacks weren't allowed to enter the priesthood or take part in any ceremonies at LDS temples until 1978. The reasoning for that came directly from Brigham Young himself:
"Why are so many of the inhabitants of the earth cursed with a skin of blackness? It comes in consequence of their fathers rejecting the power of the holy priesthood, and the law of God. They will go down to death. And when all the rest of the children have received their blessings in the holy priesthood, then that curse will be removed from the seed of Cain, and they will then come up and possess the priesthood, and receive all the blessings which we now are entitled to."
Technically, none of this should matter, seeing as how it's all in the past and such. And I would have been completely on board with that line of thinking, if only this didn't happen:
Please tell me he's just having a heart attack.
That's right; at one point during the fight, Mitt Romney knocked Evander Holyfield down. Granted, it was staged and that was very obvious, but the crowd completely lost their shit when it happened. I know it's barely my place to be offended, but goddamn, given their stance on race relations throughout history, seeing Holyfield pretend to get beat up by Romney for the enjoyment of an arena full of rabid Mormons feels gross to me.
For fuck's sake, leave Batman out of it.
That's Ann Romney, all dressed up to be part of Mitt's "posse" for his big fight with one of those cursed dark-skinned people. Still feeling good about this fiasco? If so, maybe you won't when you see that she added a huge gold chain to the ensemble once she was ringside.
I mean, is Evander Holyfield a rapper? At last check, he definitely is not. Basically, this is Ann Romney throwing on her flyest Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air wear for no other reason than because there's a black person in the room. The only way I'd endorse any of this is if it was all an elaborate plot on Holyfield's part to get close enough to Mitt Romney to land one solid, professional-boxing-level punch to his face.
4British "Lad Comic" Makes Charity Christmas Album Out Of Rape Jokes
Right off the bat, I don't know who this motherfucker is at all. His name is Dapper Laughs, and he's an entertainer from England who's described as a "lad comic." I also don't know what that is, but I do know that "lad mag" is a term used to describe publications like Maxim. That's a name I tend to associate with frat boy types, who in turn I often associate with sexual assault.
So I guess it's no surprise that Dapper Laughs earned his spot on this list by way of recording and releasing a charity Christmas album full of rape jokes. In case you're wondering what such a thing would sound like, and I know you are, wonder no more:
That song is called "Proper Moist," and honestly, I'd be fine boycotting it solely on the grounds that those two words have never belonged together in any context ever. If you'd like even more details, the website usvsth3m.com has a detailed breakdown of every terrible fucking minute of the rest of the album.
Unsurprisingly, the stunt didn't go over well. The charity it was meant to benefit, a homeless shelter cleverly named Shelter, outright refused to take the donation. The aforementioned usvsth3m.com encouraged readers to donate money for every song they didn't listen to instead.
I know you're all thinking, "Yeah, but it's not like this shithead has fans who would bother listening to this stuff, right?" No, that would be too easy. While it's true that a quick stock photo search for "Dapper Laughs" returns several photos of well-dressed people having a chuckle, like this one of Robert Goulet and his wife ...
Getty Images/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Will Ferrell reference!
... and not a single one is the "comic" in question, he's definitely not anonymous. He's got enough of a fanbase to have his own TV show, if that tells you anything about anything. At least, he did until a petition to have it canceled started making the rounds after comic Lee Kerns wrote a blog post accusing ITV2 of helping to create a "rapist's almanac" by airing it. They eventually agreed and dropped the show from their lineup, which is cool, but it does nothing to explain how it ended up on the air in the first place.