It's easy to forget how ludicrously terrifying the natural world can be, and how very small we are in the face of it. When confronted with the grand, humbling, massive and occasionally deadly power of our planet, what can one measly little human being do? Run? Cry? Not these people. These people saw all the might and majesty of Mother Nature laid out before them and said: "Eh. Pretty sure I can take the bitch."
#5. The Eternal Lightning Fields
In Venezuela, just above the mouth of the Catatumbo River, a lightning storm has been raging for at least two centuries. I know that sounds like science fiction, or some hackneyed fantasy villain's lair -- but it's real. For 160 nights out of the year, the Catatumbo lightning strikes for 10 straight hours, at a rate of nearly 300 strikes per hour. Short of trees growing in the shape of a human skull or a good ol' screaming bog, that is the single best way Nature knows to tell you a place is cursed.
And it's freaking populated!
Thousands and thousands of people swung by the Earth's only eternal storm, plunked down their packs and said, "Welp: Looks like as good a place as any to settle down and raise some kids." But simply living beneath an electric sky wasn't nearly hardcore enough for the owner of this shack:
He didn't just buy property in the Lightning District; he moved out into the water, constructed a tiny hovel in the middle of that giant bathtub with God's old toaster perched permanently above it and then built himself a metal roof.
I don't know who the owner of the world's least insurable home is, but I know where you can find him: standing on his front porch with thimbles on both of his middle fingers, drunkenly flipping off the gods.
#4. The Storm of the Century
It seems like we, as a global culture, only recently came to understand just how terrifying and destructive the ocean could be. Sure, we were aware of how serious ocean-based disasters were objectively -- but subjectively, a lot of us didn't really take it to heart. We failed to grasp that the ocean is like the Earth's Wite-Out: a tide that occasionally, almost casually, washes whole countries away. I think that's because we didn't have the right visuals, but that all changed with the recent tsunamis and their extensive video coverage. Now we finally understand the ocean, and the horrible destruction of which it is capable.
Well, some of us do, anyway. Others see the unleashed potential of countless billions of tons of surging water and think, "Man, wouldn't it be funny if I rode that?"
In late 2004, Cornwall, England, suffered through several record-breaking storms: 70 mile an hour winds, flooding, waves so large they crashed over the promenade -- but the vast and bottomless rage of Nature is nothing when compared with human boredom. So here's some dudes surfing it:
Look at the size of that breaking wave in relation to the surfers. They're so insignificant that the ocean didn't even mean to kill them; that's just how Poseidon steps on ants. To think you could possibly survive (much less ride) something like that takes not only a complete misunderstanding of physics, but a total failure to grasp the basic concept of scale itself. That's the biggest storm the world could throw at you, and you tragically mistook it for a vehicle. But holy shit, you're doing it! You're reall-
Oh. Yeah, I guess that's about how you'd expect things to turn o-
Jesus, dude. That looks like a frog getting hit by a truck. It looks like it actually went worse than I initially thought, and I initially thought you'd wipe out so hard that you'd literally cease to exist in the annals of human history.
I never imagined your leg would bend like that, though; that's messed up.
#3. The Nyiragongo Volcano
Volcanoes are pop culture shorthand for evil. Need to signify somebody's an evil badass? Volcano lair. Need to smelt up some corrupting rings? Volcano forge. Got too many virgins lying around and Waste Management Services refuses to do curbside pickup? Volcano sacrifice. It's perhaps the single most terrifying landmark on the planet. Here's a guy casually strolling across one.
"H-hello? I'm trying to get to the Jamba Juice on Hawthorne, is this ...? Shit. I am literally as lost as anybody could ever be."
That's an expedition member walking on freshly cooled lava in the Nyiragongo volcano. But don't worry, the ground isn't actually glowing like hellfire itself -- that's just an optical illusion. The ambient red light is merely the reflection of the giant lake of still-molten lava just out of frame. The photographer described being inside the volcano as "a constant, low frequency rumble -- like being inside a giant subwoofer."
I assume he then added, "... made out of liquid fire."
I assume he then added a little bit of pee.