Proposed Script for Spider-Man 4: The Grittiest Reboot Ever
As you may have heard, Sam Raimi's fourth installment of the Spider-Man franchise has been scrapped in favor of a gritty reboot with a brand new cast, writer and director. I've mentioned before several hundred times on this site what a huge Spider-Man fan I am, which is why I feel uniquely qualified to pen the script for this reboot. Sure, Raimi may have done a fine job with the first two films, but it takes a real Spider-Man fan like me to completely capture the character. His web-slinging, his trademark wit, a third thing- I've got it all. Which is why I have no shame in publicly displaying a few excerpts from my draft of Spider-Man 4 as well as some concept art I've been working on.
*Studio note: I make audio recordings every time I have sex, and Dan's Mix 1 is sort of a greatest hits of that. This is probably what'll get us a hard R rating. Not because there's audible humping (though there is), but because I curse. A lot.
Daniel O'Brien is an Academy Award-winning screenwriter/adventurer. He lives in Hawaii with six dogs.
I love how this is just an excuse for DOB to spider-bone Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson. Wish I had thought of it first.
ReplyIm glad that someone likes spiderman as much as i do. Which is a lot
ReplyThe Spider-Song was EPIC! :D
ReplyEw, some idiot just posted this as Spiderman 4 on funnyjunk.
Replyand then he edits the description after I post >.>
I would pay literally tens of dollars to see this movie
ReplyIs it wrong to be turned on by DOB's decription of his audio mix? If loving it is worng, I don't wanna be right...
ReplyI must hear Spider Threesome right now!
Reply"we-hell, looks like that smoke is making you kind of a b***h" i lol'ed.
ReplyInteresting synopsis/treatment.However, I'm not sure your vision has scope. Let's pretend the Comics Authority Code Never set us back we wouldn't have had to wait for Frank Miller and Alan Moore to drop acid before comics started to kick ass once more. So instead of easing into a grittier Spidey, why not just go balls deep with an NC-17 rating? Think, Spiderman meets Eli Roth meets Caligula; but with robots.... sexy robots... and tits... lots and lots of tits.
ReplyWow. There's people who don't think this is hilarious? I guess there's no accounting for taste...
ReplyBut there is accounting for stupid (specifically, the people who don't think this is hilarious).
Can I play Anne Hathaway?
ReplyLOL Love the shout out to Hugh's book! Amazing
ReplyDr. Scarlett Johoctopus That is f**king brilliant
ReplyI was expecting sandman and venom .. and eddy brock .. and that crazy old man of newspaper ( forgot name )..
ReplyJ. Jonah Jameson is the newspaper douche
Newspaper? I barely know her!
Straight up gives it to her and she loves it. lol. brilliant.
ReplyIs there a reason that they have to keep making Spider-man movies? Isn't 3 enough? Do we really have to reboot something that only started 8 years ago?
ReplyI really think we should start placing studio exec heads on pikes when they greenlight reboots. Its time to start making new movies for a change.
wow bro seriously you think this is the script for spidermna 5 legit? wow bro seriously get a break like wow bro you gotta be high loL?
ReplySo are you actually retarded, or are you just trolling?
I'd watch this movie...twice..
ReplyMore like "I'd post this comment...twice..." amiright?
I'd watch this movie...I'd watch it twice..
ReplyI was studying something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your linear perspective on it is diametrically opposed to what I read in the first place. I am still pondering over the various points of view, but I'm tipped to a great extent toward yours. And no matter, that's what is so good about modernized democracy and the marketplace of ideas on-line.
ReplyWord.
Gyarrrrrrrrr you make no sense.