If Awesome Lunatics Ran Airlines
There are TSA agents that will search hundreds of people every day and die without ever finding anything. If you behave like that at a farm, the farmer shoots you before you can infect the other livestock. If you behave like that at an airport, the farmer commends you on your vigilance while your hand paws at his junk. I think everything about the way we fly is stupid, so I've developed an entirely new kind of airline. I'm so sure it's going to "take off" that I've already designed the "flyer"!
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'All Awesome Airlines planes are hand-washed by titty.' f**k, yes.
Replydoes the bear wear panties?
ReplyThose are the panties I'm saving up for. X3
Bear...FTW!
ReplyThere is nobody who has ever been inside of an airplane that thinks TSA has ever, even once, done something that wasn't a waste of everybody's time. If your job involves forcing strangers to remove their shoes you're either a violent fetishist or a moron.
ReplyOr someone who really needed a f*****g job? Most TSA agents I've met were harassed in a "I can't f*****g believe I have to do this shit" kind of way, but sympathetic.
The only downside to this airline is that it's so awesome that no matter where you're going, when you get there it's a disappointment in comparison.
Replyf**k yeah, PSA!
Reply"Children are hardly ever drunk. Try saying that about an adult airline pilot"
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesChallenge accepted
Adult airline pilots are hardly...*gasp*...help me I'm being choked!
Listen you ass, my husband is a commercial airline pilot, and he would never think about flying drunk! Enough already with the drunk pilot jokes it gets really old. Otherwise, kudos..I laughed my ass of at the rest of it!
Of course he wouldn't think of flying drunk.. Drunks never think before they do things drunk... DUH!!!
You're protecting his dignity over a comment? That's embarrassing for him.
I'm a *hick* pilot, and *hick *hick* we're going over the *hick* Pacific. Oops...*hick* NOW WE ARE IN THE *HICK* OCEAN.
Honestly, the "when you get on board, we hand each of you a gun" is a pretty workable idea. Hell, if everyone has a weapon, then sure as f**k no terrorist is gonna be taking over that plane! ...Just make sure that plane is bulletproof, 'cause losing cabin pressure in the middle of a firefight is a major buzzkill.
ReplyLanding a 727 on a moving train?
ReplyChallenge accepted.
Too many birds to handle? Challenge accepted.
ReplyThe crazy thing about this is that practically all of this stuff could work, even the stewardess panties and Rule #1.
ReplyYukari Mehame just got charged for groping a TSA agent. She's a little sweet little old lady; but let me tell you, old ppl don't give a fuck. Join the letter writing campaign at Acquit Yukari Mehamae (yeah, I know the spelling is different from her actual name, because that's how the press first actually spelled it) on Facebook. Let's show these TSA assholes what's what.
ReplyTyler Durden approves of this
ReplyI wish I'd thought of that :)
I love it! What sold me on it is that "Everyone has a gun" If someone tries to threaten passengers or whatever, they're screwed, because anyone crazy enough to ride the plane, is also going to be crazy enough to f**k over the guy who tries to mess things up. Also, bears are cool.
ReplyThe "everyone has a gun" is just insane enough to work.
I'm still LOLing like moron at "Good luck, first guy."
My brother and I actually had a similar idea after the last time we flew. Just an airline with a regular-old uninvasive metal detector, and a gun on every air marshall. You sign a waiver before getting on saying that you're aware that there's a tiny chance that a crazy dude might try to kill you, just like there is every time you GO ANYWHERE EVER.
ReplyAlso, there's a smoking section, because f**k you.
Yes, yes, exactly. No one gets out of life alive anyway.
I would fly this airline. ALL. THE. TIME.
ReplySame.
I am pretty much about to die right now. that death will be on your hands. Now, whenever you are funny, think of the dead kid from Ohio. it'll help motivate you.
ReplyOh, f**k yeah bro- I'm gettin that bear's panties.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieshahahahaha. such a good comment.
If everyone has a gun, that seems pretty easy.
...bears don't wear panties. Sorry. Something tells me you didn't really think this through.
Yeah last time I flew it was with Qantas, the muther f**kers took my ginger bear and my expensive aftershave. Ten bucks says the bastard who took them came to work the next day smelling like I do after I shave. I should have filled the bottle with acid in anticipation of his larceny.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou have a ginger bear? Awesome.
If it was wearing panties, you could have been RICH!
HAD a ginger bear, CallumStewart. Those fascists took it away.
f**k
ReplyYEAH