There are TSA agents that will search hundreds of people every day and die without ever finding anything. If you behave like that at a farm, the farmer shoots you before you can infect the other livestock. If you behave like that at an airport, the farmer commends you on your vigilance while your hand paws at his junk. I think everything about the way we fly is stupid, so I've developed an entirely new kind of airline. I'm so sure it's going to "take off" that I've already designed the "flyer"!

Aesome wesome irlines Are you tired of this happening you CAN'T to you HAVE SHAMPOO. with your airline? AND YET I BOUGHT SHAMPOO AND I NOW HAVE SHAMPO

Welcome AboArd! Awesome Airlines is the first air service provider that caters Airlines to those of us who aren't wesome stupid fucks. Are you tired o

Keet Your Damn Shoes On. There's no security checkpoint. We don't give a damn what's in your bag or what you're hiding in your bra. We didn't start an

Sharring! At Awesome Airlines. we feature our own version of airborne catalog shopping: Awesome Skymall. It's like regular Skymall except every single

Terror! Awesome Airlines security agents can a someone from Islam before their bowtie spins. Y We're the best. When those other fruit loops irlines ar

Bring your favorite uids! Other airlines. let's call them pussies, take your liquids from you before you get They're on. worried your shampoo is going

Safely! We really only have three safety rules at Awesome Airlines. To learn them. please consult the safety card kept in a locked safety box on the o

Congregate! A You can congregate wesome irlines in a line by our cockpits all you want. Hell bring a knife and some pilot poison, we don't irlines wes

The Ladies ol the Sky! is only job gualification A stewardess' be in the same to ever having no reason And yet one night. town for more than seat to i

Seanbaby invented being funny on the Internet. Check out more from him at Seanbaby.com and follow him on Twitter.

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