Choose Your Own Misadventure: Tripping at a Costume Party

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You promised yourself that this time would be different. You promised that you'd rein it in: just have a few drinks, make some small talk and then call it a night. This here is a modest Halloween party, homey, not some twisted Revelations themed boxing-orgy. That was last night. And quite frankly, you could use some down time after it (the girl cosplaying Fetish Pestilence really liked to work the kidneys). You were going to be nice. You were going to be chill. You were going to take it easy, but then the swarthy fellow in the Robin Hood costume had to go and ask if you got high. What were you supposed to do?
Not follow him into the bathroom?
Decline the mysterious concoction in the Sonic the Hedgehog thermos that he insisted was "some serious shit"?
Not rip said thermos from his hands and take a defensive position on top of the toilet tank, fending him off with your feet while gripping the cylinder with both hands and desperately pouring the mystery contents down your throat, because socializing is hard?
Well thanks for the advice, asshole, but it's a little late. You've already done absolutely every one of those things, and now you've got a dark-skinned man-beast who appears to be in the midst of transforming into some kind of tree monster clawing at your Keds. You've got bigger shit to deal with.









that was f****n epic!!!
Replythis is f*****g awesome....
ReplyFinally one of your adventures ends in victory and not an interrogation room!
ReplyYou need to write a full-length novel. I'd buy the s**t out of it. Also, this reminded me of the halloween costume party I went to this year, where approximately 80% of the people there were either tripping balls on 4-aco or doing salvia.
ReplyWell done, Brockway, well done.
ReplyDear Mr. Brockway
ReplyWhat are wind-sprints?
Yours confusedly: at risk teen
Run from point A to point B and back and then again until the coach says stop. May even be point A to B to A to C and then the whole thing again until necessary. The name probably came from the fact you'll be winded by the end if you do it right.
Fantastic! As always, Misadventures are the best.
ReplyThis is so full of awesome lines that I would have to quote the complete story to put them all in my comment.
ReplyHeh! The constant "little-known weaknesses of X" made me laugh the most.
ReplyPoor 'squatch.
Why did I take so long to read this? It was amazing!
ReplyThis is, perhaps, the FUNNIEST thing on Cracked! I nearly started laughing out loud in the middle of my class!
ReplyGrilled cheese Eggo sandwiches will happen tonight!
ReplyI'm gonna f**k you, robot. Oh yes, I am.
ReplyDongbot 2.0? What is your purpose?
ReplyOh My God!
ReplyThe Sasquatch incident!
I have been laughing for 30 straight minutes so far, and from now on, every time I pee I will start laughing like an idiot!
People will start to whisper at first, mumble and side glance a little later. Eventually, I will end up in an institution, and it will be all YOUR FAULT, BROCKWAY!!
But it was worth it. I love you.
These are hilarious.
ReplyWay better than those articles that're just lists. This's up there with Seanbaby.
ReplyAn ad for underwear. How did you know that I laughed so hard some pee came out Cracked? HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?
ReplyI fucked a robot!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesDude me too!
myself as well!
Who HASN'T fucked a robot, I say?
Apparently your purpose is to make me laugh until I almost s**t myself. Mission accomplished Dongbot Brockway, mission accomplished.
Reply