9 Quirky Things Every 'Cool' Workplace Is Required to Have
If you have any interest in games or animation or technology, you've probably watched a "look how fun and crazy our workplace is" video or photo tour of some company. They'll throw everything from scooters to Nerf guns at you to show you how their company is basically Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory if Willy Wonka made software.
But if you watch enough of these tours you start to notice the same things coming up again and again. Exactly how "out of the box" is something when every single one of your competitors is doing the exact same thing? Take a look at these things and you decide:
#9. Nerf Guns
I know what they were thinking here. "What would be a really great way to show our company is FUN and CRAZY? What if we had Nerf gun fights? I KNOW! Who DOES that? In an OFFICE!"
Short answer, lots of people. Go search YouTube for "office nerf battle" and you'll find videos left and right, like this one, or this one, or this one. They're all fairly lame -- take your pick.
I'm just saying, it's not exactly Die Hard.
Each person posts theirs as if people's minds are going to be boggled that Nerf guns would be used in a workplace. This video actually uses the CEO (and possibly the only employee) of a web design company talking about Nerf gun strategy as an advertisement for the company. "THAT'S who I want designing my website!" you are meant to say. "This is no boring Joe Schmoe who will give me a beige-colored website. He is a craaaaazy thinker!"
There is nothing more exciting than a guy standing in front of a company logo without a Nerf gun, talking about Nerf guns.
But wait! What about CashLinq, which doesn't just allow Nerf gun fights in the office but actually issues an official Nerf gun to every employee hired? Nobody else would be so crazy as to take fun to the edge like that! Except TerraCycle, and Sudden Impact Marketing, and so many dotcoms in the '90s that it's a standard cliche for a wannabe-edgy company.
Via VentureBeat
The other cliche would be the high-visibility mascot you have to sell when your company goes bankrupt.
The worst part is that Nerf guns probably knock down as much office morale as they boost, leading to a wash. For every employee that loves spontaneous cubicle battles, there is a terrified quiet person or grumpy curmudgeon that will either shut down or snap when the darts go flying. But if the bosses are wacky fun types, they'll just write these people off as party poopers who have negativity problems or something, and keep telling themselves that the forced Nerf culture is great for anyone who really counts.
#8. "Cool" Pop Culture Decorations
The thing about a "cool" workplace is it has to show off how trendy and current it is, so the decorations have to be the most popular Internet memes or whatever the Internet thinks is cool that day, like goddamned Charlie Sheen or some old school Star Wars-original Legos if possible (to show that they liked Star Wars before it was cool).
OfficeSnapshots.com
YouTube is really going against the grain here by liking Star Wars.
Bloomberg.com
Facebook demonstrates they are aware of the Charlie Sheen meme and the Obama Hope poster.
It can be a homey background decor if everybody's genuinely into that stuff, but when you display it prominently and make sure it gets photographed on a tour as a badge of how cool your company culture is, that's like a hipster pointing out their TMNT T-shirt to anyone in earshot.
Here are Zappos and Groupon showing that they remember something old that is supposed to be cool to remember now.
NerdBusiness.com
I might be impressed if it wasn't all Marvel titles.
BusinessInsider.com
I bet they quote lines from Labyrinth at each other too.
Meanwhile, Mashable put up an ironic Justin Bieber poster:
... only to find out that Twitter had done the exact same thing.
#7. Foosball Tables
It's the same deal with foosball tables. If you have a foosball table and the employees enjoy it, that's cool, but these things are virtually standard equipment in every tech and game company. Showing them off during a tour with the tone of, "Can you believe we have one of THESE?" is just kind of sad if this is the seventh time your visitor has heard the same spiel.
Top row: Epic Games, Google Stockholm, Apple. Bottom row: Pixar, Groupon, Moo.com. Sources: BusinessInsider.com, Home-Designing.com, OfficeSnapshots.com, Epic Games Studio Tour.
If you really wanted to blow them away, I'd suggest getting an actual soccer field, or I guess maybe a basketball court if you want something your employees would actually want to use.
#6. "Creative" Conference Room Names
BusinessInsider.com
Etsy also has "Slayer Cake" and "Wu-Tang Clams" conference rooms, because they are artistic.
Naming conference rooms after something punny or some kind of retro pop culture theme might sound good to a marketer or an image-conscious executive who wants to tell reporters how different their company is, but 9 out of 10 people who actually have to go to meetings will tell you they prefer conference rooms to be named in some fashion that tells you where the damned rooms are. "Second Floor Northwest" might not sound sexy, but your odds of actually getting all the participants to show up on time will go up exponentially compared to if you name it "Johnny Ewoker" or "Fighting Chuck Norris" or "Land War In Asia" or "fl33twood mac" or "LOLCat Stevens" or "Jay-ZOMG."
Those are all Facebook conference room names if anyone was looking for another reason to hate Facebook.
Curious Photos
Another Facebook room.
As mentioned, "creative" naming of conference rooms can lead to internal chaos, such as when a Yahoo! employee was told a meeting was "in Limbo" and went back to his desk assuming the location hadn't been decided on.
They also often cross the line from a winky "We have a sense of humor and aren't stuffy office types," to an obnoxious "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M WACKY," as seen in the Facebook conference names. Other offenders include SoftLayer, which names its conference rooms after obscure inside jokes, which I'm sure visiting vendors and consultants enjoy as much as adults enjoy hearing a gaggle of teenage girls joke about which one of them is the craaaziest.
Poggled names its rooms after memes people won't remember six months from now, and SEOmoz names its rooms after comic/sci-fi locations (Batcave, Mos Eisley) that their children tell them are supposed to be cool.
#5. Office Dogs
Another feature that trendy loft offices might as well rent to their tenants as a standard option is the office dog. I'm pretty sure the only tech/animation/gaming/design workplace that doesn't allow dogs is mine because they are mean and have hearts of stone. I keep telling them all the other companies let their employees bring dogs and it's not fair, and they just respond by asking if all the other companies' employees jumped off a bridge, would I jump off a bridge too?
Well yes, if it wasn't a very high bridge, and it meant I could bring a dog to work. Here are some of what looks like 10 million companies that not only allow dogs but have an "official" office dog.
BusinessInsider.com
Etsy.
Working At Popcap
PopCap Games.
BusinessInsider.com
Blue Slate Digital.
BusinessInsider.com
Hunch.
JoshMullineaux.com
TechStars.
Youtube
Warne Marketing.
franken.senate.gov
The office of Senator Al Franken.
As you can see, having an official dog is adorable, but isn't a great move to make your office stand out.
Twitter's orange couch was beige...
ReplyMy workplace is way better than all of the above mentioned. Based solely on the fact that I have like, cans of beer surrounding my computer, and yes, we DO drink it during office hours. As long as nobody pukes all over the keyboard, or keeps typing bullshit emails, sends all the wrong files, etc, the bosses just let us get away with that.
ReplyI worked at a place like this, with sci fi themed architecture, nerf guns, lots of action figures on desks, goofy staff parties and activities, etc. It did get annoying and distracting. I'd be in the middle of doing something complicated or difficult and a nerf dart would smack me in the back of the head. Or I'd be concentrating on a customer issue while on the phone with them and the next cube over would erupt with raucous laughter over some Youtube video - loud enough to drown out the customer and loud enough for them to hear it. And the open office plan was distracting too. All the fun stuff was just window dressing, too, the place still had alot of politics, cronyism, nepotism, disorganization, poor communication, backstabbing, etc. And the culture was pretty forced and made the place really cliquey and weird.
ReplyMy idea of fun at work is kicking ass on the job and then going home satisfied. A nice place to work is one that is highly productive, relaxed, respectful, has nice people, decent benefits, is growing, rewards people for a job well done, etc. Throw in the occasional birthday cake or happy hour and I'm good to go.
Have you considered the possibility that these aren't failed attempts to "stand out," but rather things that people at these companies genuinely enjoy? And that you see them everywhere because people of similar culture tend to like some of the same things?
ReplyI get what you're saying, because it's like how painfully normal young people these days will do something quasi-quirky and proclaim "I am SUCH a nerd! Hahahaha! Don't I crack you up with my craziness!?"
ReplyBut if I were actually working at a place where I could have nerf gun fights and quote Labyrinth with my co-workers, I couldn't bring myself to care.
Note the braille on the "GUITARTAR HERO" sign. As if the blind didn't already have enough reason to hate themselves, now they need to be reminded that they will never be the kind of "lol nerdy xDxD cake is ly" people like their coworkers because they didn't get to play Guitar Hero.
ReplyAlthough Rock Band is better.
If a big orange couch was cool enough for Snick, it's cool enough for me.
ReplyDogs are actually a logical move. Living animals can help lower tension in both individuals and situations, depending on how retarded\well-trained the animal is. For companies that need a lot of creative thinking, defusing tension is probably a good thing.
ReplyIf something improves your work environment, what does it matter if its a cliche? Cliches become annoying not because they ARE endlessly repeated, but when we SEE them being endlessly repeated. Most people don't have more than 1 workplace, so I'm all for embracing anything that improves the workplace, even if other companies have done it before.
ReplyThis is not a criticism of Christina or her article; I'm aware that she is railing against people presenting these ideas as innovative or wacky. I'm just saying that to the individual employee, it doesn't really matter if the office down the street has the same fun stuff as your office, it really only matters what effect the stuff in your workplace has.
If they give you that "jump of a bridge" rebuttal again, just tell them that that's a logical fallacy. Or say "Bungee jumping? Hellz yeah! Where do I sign up?"
Replymy friend works in a absolutely not hip office and they have dogs in there, its the norm, especially in a place like NYC where people dont have large houses or yards to put their dog in, so taking them to work is a fantastic plus.
Replyalso the funny thing with the orange couches that were shown is a lot of those companies colors are mozilla, popcap, and google all use orange in their logos.... but maybe that could be something edgy, using orange in your logo!
i do tech support. i got shot in the face with a nerf gun on a call and yelled "FUCK!" into the phone. i then promptly lost my s**t because i thought i was going to get fired. instead, the nerf guns became even more rampant until the same thing happened with others. then the nerf guns got banneded.
Replywell i work for a tech company.. we have red (and other multi-color walls, colerful couches, no dress code, stupid named conf rooms, like PDA, MP3, Cloud, Radio, Flight, Bootleg, Drive in..etc.. and video game systems all over, Wii, X-Box.. its Cliche, but make things a bit relaxed, so i kinda like it.
ReplyThe Google New York slide is just reinforcing the lazy stereotype of Americans, whether intentional or not. ._. I would rather us get rid of all unnecessary alternative transportation except for disabled and the elderly, so we can get our obesity % down: Not only for health, but we'd feel better as a country if we looked sexier.
ReplyAs for the article, I agree. Most of these ARE unnecessary, BUT, they are also making otherwise stuffy and high stress office jobs a little more lax. The whack meeting room names could be done away with...like you said, Plain names aren't funny or sexy, but it's more important to get there on time and prepared rather than be in stitches, leaning against the wall, and loling. There is a time and place for everything, and you can go back to Nerf gunning your dog while it pisses on your orange couch AFTER you finish in "The Twilight Zone."
i would rather take a slide than the terrifying open-corridor stairs (THE RAILS ON THE THIRD FLIGHT ARE LOWER THAN MY CENTER OF GRAVITY AND YOU CAN SEE STRAIGHT TO THE BOTTOM) at my office or the equally-terrifying elevator that breaks down every day and smells of farts.
wish we had a slide :/
You are extremely mistaken. I'd say the slide reinforces the efficient, get s**t done stereotype of Americans. You take all the time you want walking down the stairs, I'll be quickly sliding my way to a raise. And besides, walking down stairs isn't difficult at all. Walking up gives you the exercise - which, coincidentally, is the best way to get to the top of the slide.
Yes, damn those evil companies that are trying to make the workplace more enjoyable and less sterile. Even if all the items listed are a little cheesy, they still beat the alternative. I usually like Christina's articles, but this one was just dumb.
Replyi gotta agree. not on liking christina's articles, but the other stuff. i'd rather have video games, bean bag chairs, legos, odd-colored walls, and nerdy conference room names than...wellll...pretty much every single other office i have ever worked at (neglecting my years at a library. that was perfect).
i didn't even notice it was her article but that makes perfect sense. LOL. this girl really has a hangup about "others" infringing on her nerd territory.
look, christina, we get it. you were a nerd before nerd was cool (how cutting-edge hipster of you!). faux-nerds are annoying. people who were popular while claiming they had it hard in high school are assholes. you really gotta let this go though. your articles just make you sound either a) jelly or b) like YOU are the one trying too hard to make everyone aware that YOU had firsties on the nerdness. shut up already.
I would f*****g hate nerf gun battles and dogs in the office. Now slides on the other hand.....
ReplyOn the red walls:
ReplyAutodesk and YouTube's official colors are red and white. WTF else are they supposed to paint their walls?
Same applies to Mozilla's orange couches.
I also thought that, but do agree with half assed stuff, if you do it do it, otherwise don't even touch it...
seriously. when there are 6 (7 if you want to be technical, gah, indigo is totally just blue-purple) colors in a spectrum, and maybe 5 other basics besides that (black, grey, white, pink, brown), at some point SOMEONE is going to buy the ugly orange couches from ikea. those tan 70's era ones at twitter barely qualify, especially given the extremely non-hip decor of that entire room.
and i am totally that guy who is constantly petitioning to have my dog at the office. it's about time he started paying rent, and he'd do a better job than half the people there anyway. KIDDING. not.
New Year's resolution: For every hateful comment I see on a Christina article, posted by someone who simply refuses to avoid things they don't like, I'm going to click an ad on one of her articles.
ReplyIf karma's a b***h, I'll be glad to be that bitch.
Nerf guns in the office sounds kind of unsafe
ReplyMy office workplace has a few red walls (and orange, and purple, and blue), a foosball table, purple sofas in the lobby, understated pop culture decor, an annual Bring Your Dog to Work day, allow jeans on most days, and they serve beer to employees on Friday afternoons. I didn't realize we were so unoriginal, but I'm certainly not complaining. I love the relaxed environment
Reply