8 Bad Drivers Nobody Complains About (Part 2)
I recently spent a column's worth of space complaining about bad drivers that all the Internet ranters and stand-up comedians seem to miss. You know how everybody complains about old people and tailgaters while our national dialogue on driving behavior is noticeably lacking a discussion on people who are terrified of bicycles.
In between then and now, the holidays happened, so I've got plenty more for you.
#8. People Who Can't Think More Than 2 Seconds Ahead
These dumbasses are so committed to living in the moment that thinking a couple of seconds ahead to when their 80 mph speeding car is inevitably going to collide into the 50 mph semi ahead of them is against their principles.
For most of us, there is nothing complex about predicting that collision course, as the semi has probably been chugging along at 50 for the past three hours or so, and we have a sophisticated set of range-finding devices called eyes that can tell us that from a good quarter mile away.
If you were sitting with Mr. Live For The Now, however, and you told him that he was going to have to hit the brakes real hard in about 10 seconds, he would probably scoff at you and then, after the inevitable happened, fear you as a wizard.
#7. People Who Would Rather Die Than Make a U-Turn
It really sucks when you miss your exit (or turn). You have to take the next exit and find your way back, and you could end up going miles out of your way. But when most of us weigh a long annoying detour versus cutting across multiple lanes of traffic and/or a divider, we usually come up on the side of eating the mistake and dealing with the miles rather than, you know, possibly getting ourselves or someone else killed.
If you've already missed your exit, you don't have time to check your mirrors, let alone do the over-the-shoulder blind spot check, so you're basically just swerving through a couple of lanes with your eyes closed. The only time this is OK is if you are in an X-Wing and you are a Jedi.
The most annoying thing about this is the selfish attitude it betrays. The driver made a mistake (missed his exit). Who should have to pay for it? Him, by taking a long detour and having to loop back? Or everybody else, because he deserves to get to that exit on time? Not to mention the poor Department of Transportation landscaper that has to replace the turf his tires tear up. Hopefully he is a convict.
#6. People Who Won't Turn Around At a Gas Station
It might just be that some people are completely unfamiliar with the idea of turning a car around 180 degrees because this would also explain the people waiting unnecessarily at the gas station.
Every car has the gas cap on one particular side, so you usually have to pull up to the gas pump on a specific side. I'm sure we've all been to gas stations where all the pumps were full of on-the-left fuelers or something, but do you know what? If you turn your car around 180 degrees, all the wrong-side pumps suddenly become right-side pumps!
Apparently some people still don't know that and will sit there waiting patiently for a correct-sided pump to open up. I realize some big gas stations only allow you to go through one way, and some really small gas stations make it hard to turn around in the lot, but I've seen people in roomy, two-way gas stations just sit on their asses while I slowly drive past them, turn around and fuel up. They are still there when I leave, looking at me as if I performed a miracle.
#5. People Who Don't Let You Look Around Them
Now when I make a right turn -- and this might be just a weird personal quirk of mine -- I like to see if there are any cars coming from the left. I know some people find it exciting and dangerous to just turn and let fate take them where it may, whether it be to the insurance claims office or a lifetime in a wheelchair, but I just have a personal preference towards looking first.
Sometimes there's crap in the way, like parked cars or trees, which are pretty easy to fix by setting them on fire. I would only do this if it's an intersection you drive through every day, of course. Waiting for a tree or car to burn to ashes takes a really long time if you are only making that turn once.
But sometimes, if the road has more than one lane, there is a car on your left, planning to go straight or turn left, and sometimes that asshole blocks your view of oncoming cars. But whatever, usually if you scoot forward a little more, you can see what you need to see.
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Which is that you will not be able to turn for about two hours.
The real assholery comes when the guy follows this by scooting forward himself and completely obstructing your view again. Now I realize you both need to see oncoming cars, and you can block his view of cars coming from the right, but the cars coming from the right are in the far lane, and you don't need to be ahead of another car to see around it to the far lanes. You can even be slightly forward of him and he can see what he needs to see just fine.
On top of that, more often than not, the blocker ends up being an SUV or pickup, which means he can see over my little Civic however the hell we are positioned, while he is a wall to me. The only explanation for him scooting forward is because he has an inching habit (more on that later) or he has some retarded sense of competition, even stopped at an intersection.
Congratulations, buddy, you are the champion of 4th and Elm! What a winner!
Number 5 and cyclist in the middle of a busy road annoy me the most!
ReplyOh my God, #5! Why does no one ever talk about these jackasses?!
ReplyAmen to #1. A guy today was going 30 in a 35, and people were riding his ass, as you can imagine. Suddenly, he stops in the middle of the f*****g road during rush hour so he could yell at me for riding his ass! What is wrong with people?
ReplyWhat we're really seeing is the evidence that, for most people, nothing is as important as personal convenience. Not the law, courtesy or even good sense. It expresses it self in their driving and daily conduct.
ReplyWhy do you think people park in handicapped spots? It would be inconvenient to walk an extra 100 feet. Why do you think they cut you off at intersections? It would be inconvenient to slow up for three seconds.
Driving or walking, I daily see people risking the rest of their life to save a few seconds. I see inconsiderate behavior in restaurants and public places because a little courtesy would take a few seconds that they have no thought of losing. Personal convenience, that's more important than being a decent human.
I always suspect the gas station attendant will come out and yell at me irrationally for backing up to a pump. Not sure why, but oh well.
ReplyA little specific maybe, but I hate people who go happily speeding up a blind hill-curve with a stop light right on the other side (that you can't see until you get about 4 or 5 car lengths from the light) on a high traffic road. (Yes I was rear ended by the guy who rear ended the guy behind me on that road).
ReplyOh god the merging. I hate it when people wait until the last second, the last few feet of a lane thats ending to merge. I watched someone in a sports car hit a kid on a bike doing that once. That made me just f*****g stop and not let them in if they signal, they can sit and wait if they're that much of an a*****e, to hit a kid on a bike because they didn't want to merge before the lane ended. *protip: he drove INTO the bike lane, at at least 30 mph, just to merge, because he couldn't be assed to merge before the lane ended*
ReplyWas the kid alright?
I drive a van/truck for a living and was waiting to make a right turn. This old lady is crossing the street taking her sweet time so I wait until she's clear. The a*****e behind me though, can't see her so keeps on honking his horn while she's crossing the street and even while I'm making the turn. I mean, really, buddy? Are you in that much of a f*****g hurry?
Reply#5 happens so often it's not even funny.
ReplyI admit I do #1 and #2... But I don't get pissed off when a car slows down when I am doing number 2, I know why they are doing it. My favorite is when I am turning left across 3 lanes of traffic and there are no other cars except one in the far lane... I turn out into the two lanes just as the other car is going... The look on their faces is always priceless.
ReplyThe #1 thing I do with A) Headlights/taillights and B) Blinkers and C) Gas caps. All the sorts of things I'd want someone to let me know were off, not working or otherwise making me look like a total idiot and ruining traffic. If you are sitting there with your blinker on and people keep trying to give space to let you over. You are causing a a pretty major traffic issue. I would never do anything like that story though. I may drive behind em a bit with my blinker on too, but that's it. Just like I would only flash my brights maybe once or twice at someone with no headlights/taillights on.
The gas cap is even less, I'd only do something about it stopped at an intersection where I could tell them by yelling out the window. I don't feel like I'm trying to teach them, I'm trying to help them. But maybe I'm just a jackass, and I'm okay with that then.
The most glaring omission from both of these lists is the people who NEVER EEEEEEVER use their turn signals for ANY reason. Bugs me so much.
ReplyRead both articles, loved the reference to the view-blocker, I generally encounter them at roundabout. A more extreme version of the person who gets miffed at being overtaken which I encountered was a guy who got annoyed that I overtook him and decided to overtake me in the same lane I used to overtake him. It would be interesting to write a similiar article from a pedestrian or cyclist perspective.
ReplyI hate inchers! They always freak me out! I also hate the cars that turn right on red when the pedestrian has the right of way. I almost got hit one time because stupid me starting walking across the road after the Walk sign lit up, and some girl decided to turn right at the same time. Her passenger even mouthed sorry to me when I glared after she almost hit me.
ReplyOn #4: if you're on a steep hill, you need to leave more space than usual, because cars will roll back a bit (especially standards, and you can't tell who's driving standard so might as well treat every car like a standard and avoid a dented bumper).
ReplyThis is true. It always freaks me out when people stop right behind me when I am driving a standard. I get so focused on trying to not roll back that half the time I get the timing off and kill the damn thing.
I think the reason that nobody complains about these is because they suspect that they do at least one of them, or something just as bad.
ReplyAlso because it's hard to convey them in words without a diagram. :-o
About #2 - sometimes, the "inching" isn't just a jittery right foot. Sometimes they're jerking their car out into the road in hopes of making you screech to a halt. Then they can go on their way.
ReplyReal assholes.
As a pedestrian, I especially hate inchers. I can't count the number of times I am crossing at a crosswalk in front of cars stopped at a red light, and they start inching their cars toward me. How can you not realize how threatening that seems?
ReplyJust a quick point about #4: there's a very legitimate reason to leave lots of space between you and the intersection or the car in front of you at a stoplight. The idea is that if someone comes blazing up at you from behind and clearly doesn't have enough time to stop before hitting you, if you have space in front of you, you can move forward and avoid a collision.
ReplyNow, this obviously doesn't apply when you're blocking access to a turn lane, but otherwise it's actually smart driving. If you have a problem with it then it is you who is being impatient and unreasonable, because being 30 feet closer to that light while you wait for it to change isn't going to get you to your destination any more quickly or safely.
Very true, but also keep in mind that the vast majority of cars available to the American public aren't--contrary to whatever they say about us in Europe--30 feet wide. If the car in front of you breaks down, you really only need about 10, 15 feet tops, and that's if you're really, really bad about not cranking the steering wheel over far enough.
If they're blazing up from behind and have no time to stop, you rolling forward 30 feet from a dead stop is not going to make a difference.
I love these articles.
ReplyI always slow down when someone is on my bumper, but never slam the breaks. I'm usually trying to give them a chance to pass (if there is one) and personally, if they're going to hit the back of my car I'd rather be going 20 than 25mph.
ReplyWhat really bothers me is when someone in front of me is going say 25 in a 45, and I stay at a respectable distance because hell, I don't want to slam into the back of their car. But the guy behind me, usually some big ass SUV driver (who can see over my little Saturn), is riding my ass like I can make the car in front of me go faster.
It's even more irritating when we're in a no passing zone, so even if I wanted to pass the slow driver, thus giving the guy behind me a chance to pass him too, I can't!
I wish I had rocket launchers in the back of my car.
Reminds me of the people who speed up as you are going to pass them in the other lane.
You're driving whatever speed, maybe +5 the speed limit, and a car is coming up in the other lane. You have no intention of getting in the other lane, you're just going along. But as soon as you catch up to them, they start to speed up also. It always makes me wonder if they suddenly decided they wanted in my lane or are trying to race me for some reason.