We all have weak spots -- even artists. Scorsese isn't a sculptor and all of his attempts probably look like summer camp ashtrays, we're reasonably sure da Vinci couldn't dunk, and basically every actor who thinks they're also a musician is not. But sometimes an artistic genius has a weak spot right in their chosen field, and we somehow all agree to overlook it. Like how ...
5Botticelli Was Terrible At Drawing Feet
The Birth Of Venus is one of the most famous Renaissance paintings of all time, and it's a pretty massive achievement to stand out among the crowd during the goddamn Renaissance.
And it was originally nothing but an excuse to make a dirty joke about clams.
Given the status of this painting and how his name rolls off the tongue, it seems a downright injustice that the artist, Sandro Botticelli, never had a Ninja Turtle counterpart. But then you scan down past the overall beauty of the piece and notice what lurks at the bottom. Seriously, every single foot in this painting is really messed up.
Tarantino still masturbates to this, but it doesn't feel right.
Every character in this scene is standing on a pair of grotesque, arthritic sausage feet with a bone structure that gives podiatrists priapism. You might think that Botticelli was simply out of practice here and presumably spent some time later on perfecting his foot game, but the weird foot thing is evident throughout much of his work. In Lamentation Over The Dead Christ, Jesus himself is suffering the same bizarre bone deformity and elongated sausage toes, with some weird backward-bending dog legs for good measure.
"Dogliness is next to godliness."
And we have some evidence that Botticelli was frustrated by it. While restoring his painting Saint Francis Of Assisi With Angels, analysts managed to glimpse the numerous errors he made in the planning stage of the titular saint's feet -- he'd painted over them again and again in a desperate effort to get them right, and we can only imagine how many times he threw his palette against the wall and went out to get shitfaced and commiserate with an anachronistic Rob Liefield.
In response, society invented shoes.
4Medieval Architects Didn't Know What The Hell They Were Doing
The few Middle Age buildings that have survived the numerous crusades and two world wars stand as testaments to the artistic skill of the masons of old. They make us wish for the days when architects had passion for their work, instead of filling our cities with slight variations on "giant shoebox with windows."
Tango7174 /Wiki Commons
"The only arches you'll see are McDonald's, and you'll like it!"
But the fact that any buildings survive from that era is kind of a miracle, because back then, architects tended to put aesthetics ahead of such middling concerns as "structural integrity." On closer inspection, many medieval buildings resemble a Lego set that someone tried to put together without instructions.
Take Selby Abbey in England, whose builders apparently started off with an arch before realizing they didn't have enough room, so they squeezed it off early, giving the impression that the side of the building is falling into a black hole:
Of course, Selby Abbey is also a portal to Narnia.
Then there's Canterbury Cathedral, where overenthusiastic masons started building a pole and an arch in the same corner before realizing their error, and instead of fixing it, just stuck a poster over the mistake when the inspector came by:
Dr. James Alexander Cameron
"Meh. How long is this place going to be around for, anyway?"
Salisbury Cathedral started building an arch where a wall was supposed to go. They put the wall there anyway:
Dr. James Alexander Cameron
"Uh ... Noticing it is a sin!"
You can find even more ridiculous medieval mistakes in this blog post from a British historian, which went viral among people who are interested in that kind of thing (read: British historians). It's interesting to note that the higher up a structure is, the smaller the chance of surviving blueprints. This is either due to the fact that medieval architects were prone to improvisation, or to the principle of conserving trade secrets. Looking at the pictures, we're it sure looks like it had to do with covering up the evidence. It seems "Nah, I meant to do that" was the mantra of the medieval architect.