#2. Alien 3 and Terminator 2 -- Heroes Don't Swim in Molten Metal
Arena Entertainment, Flying Edge
When it comes to heroic deaths, not much tops throwing yourself into a pit of lava to save humanity. We see this in both Alien 3 and Terminator 2. How the movies got to that point differs, but the scenes themselves are really similar, right down to the foundry setting. Long story short: noble hero sacrifices him- or herself to protect the future from a terrible danger held inside them. Sadly, neither sacrifice protected us from lousy sequels.
How the Games Missed the Point
The Alien 3 game ditched everything from the movie except Ripley's haircut and the name of the planet. In the game, Ripley wages a personal war against every alien ever, kicking so much xenomorph ass that the aliens probably have nightmares of a tiny baby Ripley bursting out of their chests. After her ruthless display of interstellar genocide, Ripley doesn't leap into a lake of molten metal. Instead, she slaughters the final boss, turns around to deliver some laconic one-liner, and ... that's it. We don't know how she gets off the planet. Maybe she builds a space-raft out of all the alien corpses.
"Bitch all you want, at least our ending didn't lead to Alien: Resurrection."
Meanwhile, the developers of the Terminator 2 game decided that having the T-1000 knocked into an inferno just didn't make it dead enough. Because there's no kill like overkill, the T-1000 becomes a huge monster made of deformed faces and fire.
We're pretty sure this is how Joan Rivers eventually goes out.
After you defeat the fire monster in a pit of fire by firing at it with your overwhelming firepower, the building spontaneously explodes on account of its structural integrity not being able to handle this much badass. So the T-800 just up and time travels away from there. No time machine required, no mind-bending branching timelines to keep track of -- you just shoot a dude until his very atoms explode and then hop on your chrono-hog and ride the hell out of Dodge. In a way, it's the perfect summation of Terminator 2's underlying philosophical message: There's no fate but what we make. Even if we have to make it by ignoring vital plot points in the source material.
Like how everything in T2 is now pointless because somebody wanted a Terminator with boobs.
#1. Star Wars -- Vader Is Everything but Luke's Father
The original Star Wars trilogy is the classic tale of a humble farm boy who learns that ... ha ha, kidding. You may not know your own phone number if put on the spot, but you know what Star Wars is about. You wouldn't be here otherwise. The Internet wouldn't let you.
How the Game Missed the Point
There have been countless Star Wars video games, but the 1987 Japanese NES game is easily the strangest. In it, Luke battles Darth Vader several times, only it turns out that Vader's a scorpion ...
... a shark ...
... and an ... Egyptian undead pterodactyl?
Still more believable than thinking a 70-year-old Harrison Ford could jump around without crippling himself.
According to the manual, these animal fights are "illusions" representing Luke's fears, and not at all lazy attempts to recycle character sprites from other games that the developers had laying around.
The original Animality.
Yet as silly as Animorph Vader might be, the plot is where the game really veers off the rails. Luke's mission here isn't to stop the sinister Empire, learn his destiny, or save his father: It's just to fly the Millennium Falcon from planet to planet (most of which look like they were ripped from Mega Man) and rescue R2-D2, C-3P0, Obi-Wan, Leia, Chewbacca, and Han, who have all been kidnapped. You eventually manage to get the whole gang back together, thanks to a little help from C-3P0, who convinces a whale to help you navigate the cold waters of the ice planet Tina.
Too bad Disney put the kibosh on the extended universe. Tales from Planet Tina would've easily sold dozens of copies.
After befriending the space humpback, you do finally get to fight Vader and blow up the Death Star. Then the game really throws a twist at you and gives a medal to Chewie instead of Han. That's where your suspension of disbelief really falls apart.
It's like they never watched the movie.
Related Reading: Some video game adaptations had moments that improved on the movie. We've collected those scenes for you, along with these movie video games that just plain missed the point. We set our forums to the task of imagining the video game versions of classic films and we've also submitted our own request for the video games most in need of a MOVIE made in their image.