Nature is a giant computer: a vast mechanism of endless complexity and variety. It calculates, compiles, evolves -- and, of course, it renders genitals in exquisite detail. But if Hollywood has taught us anything about computers, it's that they will all be hacked by unreasonably attractive nerds. Sometimes while rollerblading. Nature has its hackers, too: At this very instant they're out there, cracking the most primeval codes in existence. But they don't hack machines. They hack lives.
Man, that was a good tagline. Somebody get on the Murder-hackers script while we write this stuff about crazy bugs, would you?
5Malaria Hacks Your Body Odor to Make You Delicious to Bloodsuckers
Alexander Zhiltsov via Photos.com
Malaria is one of the biggest killers in Africa. It is an unholy bastard of a disease, caused by a parasitic protozoa transmitted through mosquitoes, and, oh yeah ... it causes your blood to explode. Your red blood cells, your very life essence, literally detonate in your veins as this deadly parasite multiplies inside of them until they burst. But on the plus side, it also makes you smell pretty awesome.
On the minus side, you only smell awesome to bloodsucking insects.
The marinading process.
When the malaria protozoa is ready to reproduce and move on from its host, it calls for an airlift to a new location, which it accomplishes by making you smell like a barbecue dinner with all the fixin's to a mosquito. Studies show that people infected with malaria are substantially more attractive to mosquitoes than people without it. Even weirder, people with transmittable malaria are more attractive than people with the non-transmittable phase. The contagious strain is specifically more delicious smelling to mosquitoes, which is astounding when you consider that malaria kills them, too. That's right: Those annoying little blood suckers aren't immune to the effects of the disease. If you think malaria sucks for you, imagine if your absolute favorite meal was fucking malaria.
Maybe with a white wine vinaigrette, some caramelized onions ...