Monte Richard

BLOG: Sometimes I write about odd stuff that cracked won't publish. Sometimes I put up the full articles before the editors cut them down to size. Sometimes I just try to piss people off. (http://thelastmonte.wordpress.com)

CRAPTIONS: And lastly you can find me in the Craptions forums regularly where I judge and make smartass remarks. (http://www.cracked.com/forums/forum/craption-contest)

There's not much else to say really, except perhaps:

I'm a ninja for hire
An ice cube on fire
A soothsayer and liar
Deceitful, dashing and dire
A menacing muse muddling meanings in the mire
My mind tumbles around like a cat in a dryer
When its down to the wire I get lit like a pyre
Kicking hobbits out the shire
In jet black attire like a cocaine supplier
Cuz I aspire to acquire your ire
And all you sucker MCs can call me sire...

I am also available for freelance work depending upon how pretty you are.

Number Of Articles: 36

5 Insane Sci-Fi Weapons That Now Exist in Reality

There are two kinds of scientists in this world -- those whose discoveries will lead the planet into a new era of enlightenment, and those whose research will inevitably be stolen by terrorists who enjoy dressing up as snakes. This article is dedicated to this second group.


9 Animals That Are Just Lazy Combinations of Other Animals

Remember the first time you saw a platypus as a kid and for a moment refused to believe that nature would really create an animal that looks like a duck had sex with a beaver? Well guess what, the world is actually full of bizarre mashup creatures like that, some of them hilarious and some of them terrifying, all of them looking like the result of

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