Cracked Round-Up: Cat-Boxing Edition

Well the damn FCC stopped us from broadcasting our Hobo fights over pay-per-view, and the police arrested a whole bunch of our interns over that "toddler shock fighting" fiasco. But now that we've managed to find a supplier of adorable little boxing gloves, our World Cat-Fighting league is almost ready for the big time.


Adam Brown kicked our comedy cavalcade off with a look at common music arguments and what they really mean. David Wong followed up with some true stories to restore the faith in humanity our other articles ripped away. Ian Fortey was next with the horror movie villains that don't scare us anymore and Chris Bucholz explained why you shouldn't take embarrassing pictures of your friends. Soren Bowie brought on the maudlin with an investigation into the fates of celebrity animals while Luke McKinney leaked Umbrella corporation memos. John Cheese showed us the rock stars that are secret geniuses as Dan O'Brien once again closed us off with four words that should have been invented by now.



HARD DROP
5 Insane Falls You Won't Believe People Survived
It's kind of incredible that the same human body can survive drops from extreme height and perish from choking on skittles.


Notable Comment: "The next time Bane asks me why I'd shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane, I'm gonna tell him to check this article out."

Bane almost never listens to us, TalkToPizza. We told him to tear gas the cops in those tunnels, but noooooo. Some B.S. about "giving them hope".



BEAUTIFUL WAR
12 Old War Photographs You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
War is hell. But, as it turns out, also photogenic.


Notable Comment: "wait...5 and half million men couldn't just storm the guard house and set themselves free? that number should have been enough to overwhelm the entire nazi army."

Y'know MaestroOrlando, those five and a half million men already tried to overwhelm the entire Nazi army. That's what made them into prisoners.



CHILD EXPERIMENTS
The 6 Cruelest Science Experiments Ever (Were Done On Kids)
But hey, at least no animals were harmed in any of these experiments.


Notable Comment: "Makes you realize what a bunch of pussies we've become now. Sociology, psychology and science used to be bad-ass."

Yeah ten-of-spades, it's a real shame all those millions of children are just wasting away in the playgrounds of the world, not recognizing their true potential as test subjects.



WEIRD FILM
6 Ironic Coincidences Behind the Scenes of Famous Movies
Hollywood may seem completely manufactured, but moments of cosmic weirdness like these prove that no amount of money top the power of coincidence.


Notable Comment: "Seriously, he's a deformed 5th dimensional imp with near onmipotence. The Wiseau that we see is merely the 3rd dimensional projection of the Wiseau that really is.(Ž²lŽ±ckwhitеPlanet).{C 0 M} a nice place for sin-gles, to interact with each otherâ�¦no bounds or extremes in front of true love. . I really only had one wish the last couple years, and that was to turn white on halloween and do Black Face."

We present this quote from lindali without further comment.



EASTER EGGS
The 6 Craziest Ways Creators Hid Themselves in Video Games
We'd bet most of you never discovered any of this stuff when you played the games. Because most of you probably have lives.


Notable Comment: "I was able to suspend disbelief for this article until you said someone didn't like Steve-O's book. As if anyone anywhere has ever said that. Good day, Sir."

Tankles, we still have trouble believing that Steve-O can read.





Today's Topic
Deleted Moments From the Greatest 80s Movie Montage
Before there was 'Step Up 2: The Streets,' there was 'Breakin.' And it was ridiculous.


YOU YOU YOU!
14 Awkward Moments from Behind the Scenes of Famous Movies
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, The Campaigns the Candidates Wish They Could Run, Movie Side Characters: Where Are They Now, Helpful PSA's from Video Game Universes and The Origin Stories of Real-World Villains.

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