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Why Humanity Can't Get Past The 7 Deadly Sins

#3.
Pride


The desire to be better than others, failure to acknowledge the good work of others and excessive love of self.

So this is a problem. By obsessing over how perfect you are, you've got Pride in spades, and that's rough because it's classically one of the worst on a list of things that are deadly.

The Cure!

To avoid damnation, maybe try being a little less perfect. It'll be tough, but you can afford to not be so buff and toned. A little weakness will remind you that you are just mortal, after all, so work on making yourself less awesome. Skip the gym for a while. Have some milkshakes, go ahead. There's nothing wrong with eating a burger or two.

Just the two, though.

No ... no more than the two. Why don't- How about you slow down, on the- Jesus, how are they all even fitting in-

#2.
Gluttony


Over-consumption to the point of waste.

You just couldn't stop, could you? Another sin of excess, this is the fancy way of telling you how fat you are (very). You are disgusting.

The Cure!

But this is a quick fix, you just need to get back into shape. Shed some pounds, hit the gym and in no time, you'll be back to your toned, fit, well-defined-

Pride

Oh, shit -- that's right. OK, stay out of the gym. Something else, something else ... Maybe just accept the fact that you're a lardass and focus on getting a bunch of nice stuff to compensate. No one will care about how big you are if you've got a great car and nice clothes and-

Greed

DAMMIT, another one. Alright, OK, just sit tight for a second while I think of something.

Sloth

Well, Jesus, don't sit that tight. Do something.

Lust

Not that. For Christ's sake, what's the matter with you? This is awful, it's like everywhere we turn there's another goddamn sin to deal with. I mean what the hell, isn't that frustrating?

I mean, shit, how's a person supposed to live if absolutely every last goddamned thing is against the rules? It's like every goddamned sin is a goddamned Catch-22, it's bullshit. The whole thing is fucking bullshit. Aren't you mad? Aren't you pissed off? Aren't you just furious about all of this fucking bullshit?! Aren't you just ready to flip the fuck out?

#1.
Wrath


Uncontrolled feelings of hatred or anger.

Oooohhh, right.

Shit.

Check out more from Dan in The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time and 7 Great Men in History (And Why You Should Hate Them).

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