Crazy Eight: The Top Crazy Girlfriends in Movie History

Let's face it: Crazy girlfriends in the movies are cool, but add that sexual essence-that special thing the French call magnétisme animal-to them and you've got yourself one incredibly sexy, crazy chick. This rare breed of woman in the cinema is always ready and willing to have animal-style sex. They're wild about their recreational drugs and alcohol, they love the ladies and they have that thread of desperation that makes up the sexual fringe of their batshit-crazy tapestry. After days of heated roundtable discussions and lonely nights rewinding the nude scenes in our DVD library, here are's top eight craziest (and sexiest) girlfriends in movie history.

#8. Chloe Webb as Nancy Spungen in Sid & Nancy

In a Nutshell: Call her the Yoko Ono of the British punk scene if you'd like, but Chloe Webb's portrayal of Nancy Spungen, the longtime girlfriend of Sex Pistols' Sid Vicious, brought a sexy combination of nihilism and crazy-chick shenanigans to the forefront of movie history. Admittedly, she wasn't going to win any beauty contests. But up until that point, the closest movie character with halfway-decent looks and that classic "I-don't-give-a-shit" attitude was Pippi Longstocking. So, we're giving props where they're due.

Defining Crazy Moment: The scene where she's sitting in bed with Sid after a cozy little heroin fix, both not reacting as their room in the Chelsea Hotel goes up in flames.

Crazy Quote: "I fucking hate them! I fucking hate them! Ass! Ow! Fucking motherfuckers! They wouldn't send us any money! They said we'd spend it on druuuuugs!"—after getting off the phone with her parents. Sid nonchalantly responds with a sheepish, "We would."

Video Bonus: Sid and Nancy go up in smoke.

#7. Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction

In a Nutshell: While Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) would probably tell you that she wasn't technically his girlfriend, Close's character still slept with him more than once, and they went out on the minimum of two dates in a single week-sorry Dan, but that's a relationship as far as we're concerned. With that established, Alex Forrest is probably one of the craziest movie girlfriends of all time, and she could surely teach a few tricks to young Hollywood. But, crazy will only get you so far on this list. Unfortunately, Close looks like a cross between George Washington and Barbara Bush-by default, that combo tops you out at No. 7.

But, she's obviously a pleaser and that counts for something. Who can forget the blowjob in the freight elevator? The sex on the sink while she breaks all those dishes? Couple that with acid on the Volvo, unknowingly/knowingly slicing herself with a butcher knife and her penchant for kidnapping-congratulations Mr. Gallagher, you've got yourself one crazy, sexy girlfriend.

Defining Crazy Moment: Glenn Close cooks up some rabbit stew using the only hare close to hand: an adorable pet bunny.

Crazy Quote: "Why? Because I won't allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage?"â€"after Douglas' character tells her that he's over her.

Video Bonus: Crazy girlfriends make the best cooks.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here


The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!