11 Movies Saved by Historical Inaccuracy

#5. 300 (2007)

The Flick: Frank Miller's graphic novel (accent on the "graphic") explodes onto the silver screen in the form of hilariously toned abs, gyrating nude oracles and trolls with lobster claw hands who we'd imagine must have had a lot of difficulty using the facilities.

The Inaccuracies: Setting aside the use of magic missiles, lack of body armor and the appearance of both a hunchback and a villain that resembles a 7-foot lisping version of Dhalsim from Street Fighter II, 300 seems to glorify some aspects of Spartan life-prowess in battle, fighting for democracy, loyalty to the homeland, constant spear throwing-while slyly downplaying others, such as the fact that Sparta was a fascistic church-run warrior caste of slave owners who regularly enjoyed pederasty (having sex with little boys), and holy Christ they had sex with little boys.

Why It Would Have Sucked Otherwise: Just ask Oliver Stone and anyone who lost money on Alexander.

#4. Apocalypto (2006)

The Flick: Mel Gibson wisely places himself behind the camera instead of in front, but not-so-wisely decides that it would be good for his image as a borderline-crazy racist to try and do justice to an entire ancient civilization in two hours.

The Inaccuracies: Although Mayans did occasionally engage in ritual human sacrifice, they were a far more civilized and complex culture than shown in the film. In fact, the Mayan sun god Kukulkan, to whom the sacrifice is made in the movie, never asked for and was never given such a sacrifice, so whatever priest was offering Kukulkan a human heart was probably just creeping him the fuck out.

Why It Would Have Sucked Otherwise: Hey, if surrogate Mel Gibson is going to be on the run for half the movie and kicking ass for the other half, it better be because his heart's going to get carved out with a spoon, and not because the elders are going to hold a tribunal, mitigating his sentence to house arrest and temporary probation.

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