Just-Announced Recalls for Celebrity-Endorsed Products
Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Bath Water
Product: Men's Cologne
Retails For: $459.95
Description:
"Hoffman's sweat, dander and sloughed-off skin particles present an unforgettable musk that commands attention in the boardroom and bedroom."
Reason for Recall:
When worn outside, product caused vicious unprovoked attacks on users by dogs and the elderly.
50 Cent's Junior Crack Dealer
Product: Cell Phone, Colt .45 & Crack Cocaine Playset
Retails For: $29.99
Description:
"Get rich or die tryin' with this fun and educational playset for the young entrepreneur."
Reason for Recall:
Cell phone presented choking hazard.
Meat Loaf Brand Ribs for Her Pleasure
Product: Smoky Mesquite Flavored Latex Condoms
Retails For: $8.99
Description:
"Paradise by the dashboard light every time with these delicious rib-flavored condoms."
Reason for Recall:
Mild to severe genital swelling in some users; Meat Loaf's face on condoms found "unsettling" during intercourse.
Browning Hi-Power in Fiddy's crack cocaine package, not a Colt.
ReplyI would have thought that causing genital swelling wouldn't be considered a problem in condoms...
ReplyWhy is there a proof on that cologne?
ReplySo you know what glass to drink it from.
I would have thought Meatloaf condoms would taste more like, well, meatloaf. "Want some ketchup on that, sweetheart?"
ReplyYes, we are going to call them out on a gun identification error! That's a Browning Hi-Power. It was the gun in the glove compartment of the cop car Claire and Leon crashed in Resident Evil 2. It also comes in .40 S&W.
ReplySometimes it's just too painful to resist.
dontbugme3 get the fuck off this site right now
Replyf**k you and your Mom, Davo. It isn't your f*****g site.
CRACKED, wtf. You make fun of Scientology all the time and you have ads for them all over the place?? I've lost a lot of respect for you, CRACKED. I really have. Please take those ads down, they're embarrassing to all of us.
ReplyAds don't recognize dogma, just numbers, meanie head.
They're not taking an ad down just because you're offended by something, cockweasel
i know that the good reverend posted the comment like, 4 months ago, but really? that kind of talk is like your father saying something bout the a-team? but when aswann says it, its like "butt sexing" heston? and go back to school.
ReplyHoly Fuck. Did you just call them on a gun identification error? That's like my Crazy ass vietnam vet dad arguing with the A-team reruns saying shit like "those M2 grenades don't really work that way they..."That kind of talk makes it sound like you butt-sex Charleton Heston. Of course, you'll have to be the pitcher 'cause Charlie's dead. (shit, too soon?)
ReplyYour crazy ass Dad should have died with a sliver of bamboo in his cock.
Thats not a Colt .45 it is a Browning High Power...which fires a 9mm
ReplyHmm. My squirtgun shoots lazers and arousal beams, tell me God of firearm knowledge, is that normal?