When the first trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens hit the web, the sun was promptly blotted out by an engorged tsunami of nerd tumescence. Most of us observed two things -- A) the trailer is glorious and B) it is glorious for less time than it takes to cook a Hot Pocket.
In all likelihood, we won't see a second, fuller trailer until May before Avengers: Age of Ultron, in a juxtaposition seemingly designed to induce a stroke in those audience members who know the name of the six-boobed dancer from Return of the Jedi (Yarna d'al' Gargan, GET WITH THE PROGRAM). This also means that, over the next few long months, we will see the emergence of a 1,000-plus-page body of literature nitpicking the first trailer, with its robust 88 seconds and 11 total shots. And hey, people have already gotten started!
4 The New Millennium Falcon Is Already Being Picked to Shreds
The Millennium Falcon's reveal is so snazzy that we're going to unabashedly toss in this GIF so that everyone spends an extra 30 minutes "reading" this article:
Your lunch break ended 15 minutes ago.