Nature cannot be trusted. But if you think you're safe inside on the Internet, think again, because these animals will come for you in your own home.
Rico the Chihuahua was out on the patio when a hawk swooped in and started violently pecking his tiny head, because literally the only purpose purse-sized dogs serve is to be food for sky-blazing ambush predators of terrifying majesty. Rico's 74-year-old owner, Margaret, managed to grab the defenseless dog away from the hawk's beating wings of fury and run inside. But the bird followed them into the house, chasing the dog through the front room and into the kitchen and pinning it down again.
We'd have just adopted the hawk and considered ourselves lucky for the upgrade.
Margaret wrestled Rico from the talons of destruction three more times before finally grabbing hold of the hawk and throwing it the hell out of her house.
A New Jersey man woke up one morning and noticed that his basement window was broken and glass was strewn all over the room, which is normally an indication that Donnie Wahlberg has broken in again. But this time there was a coyote lying peacefully on the floor, waiting for him like the president of the homeowner's association doing a surprise inspection.
"Your hedges aren't of uniform height. But I'll forget that if you order a pizza."